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Well I guess everyone will have a different opinion but right now I wish I was in your shoes. I have just turned 43 and my dh is 47 and we do not have children but want one. I came off the pill in Dec and was on it about as long as you and am now having problems getting my af back to normal. My doc put me back on the pill this month as I haven't had my af since 23Feb07. Don't mean to complain but I would give my eye teeth to have a baby. I think you are blessed with a miracle and got pg for a reason. Don't miss out on this chance. Samantha

Could you really live with yourself if you had an abortion? Are you a person that believes that things happen for a reason and God (or whatever higher power you believe in) has an ultimate plan for you?You should lead with your heart. Life is short and another baby would be a blessing to your family, you will all adjust and make do just fine. good luck to you!

I think nobody is ever ready for another baby. Your other children are older they will help you with the baby. You have your hubbys support. The two of you will make it through the financial part. God will help your family. About the medical health part of it, you should consult your physician. Good Luck

I understand the uncertainty, the tug of war that goes between your head and your heart. Though I don't have grown kids, my kids are 4 and 2.5 (I'm 43) - I see how having older kids would have added a lot of things you mentioned - a possible disruption of your social life with people with older kids, re-appearing of baby/toddler expenses etc. I am not sure if I need another child - one day, when the toddler has a tantrumy day - I do not want to go through this again. Other days, I feel un-fulfilled, and it is hard to explain - I did enjoy my both pregnancies to the end, I do have a boy and a girl, they are getting out of the baby stage, becoming independent - what else one needs, right? One part of me anticipates the school years, getting more "me" time, the other part of me needs to see baby's first steps. There is no set answer, just talk it over with yourself... Personally for me, the last thing I would have worried would be other people' opinions. It would need to be right by me and my family first.************** Funny thing about age - I put myself 10 years ahead and see a youthful 53 y.o.woman with a blossoming 14 yo girl and a handsome 12.5 yo young man... younger kids keep you away from the retirement mindset, don't they? My husband was 56 and 57 when our kids were born. Now you guys are young LOL everything is relative, isn't it? People give my hubby 47yo on average, he does look young. His age is one of the factors that would be a factor in deciding if we have another baby, but it would be just one factor. ************* I understand the tides of feelings and emotions you are going through. I was trying to give another view so it may help somewhat.. Whatever your decision will be - I wish you to be in peace with it.

Hey Iozzas - I am 42 and 9 weeks preggers. If you go down the threads you will see my story. I had a heterotopic pregnancy and just 3 weeks ago lost the tubal pregnancy - my uterus pregnancy is so far hanging in. When I was on on the ambulance being rushed to the hospital (the ectopic was about to burst) it hit me SO HARD...how much I want this baby and how heartbroken I will be if we miscarry. If you got preggers so fast - well you are so lucky! Try not to let "society" tell you - that you are too old etc...to have a baby. Look at all the wonderful celeb moms that are giving birth - Marcia Cross with twins this year etc...I think that we are re-defining age....we are smarter than our parents and typically I think we are younger...because we eat better, exercise, don't smoke etc....I don't feel 42 at all - more like 30...sure I worry - I mean sometimes you think...what will life be like...but kids move out so soon...at 18 some of them are heading off to university....Anyways....it's a decision that only you & your hubby can make...just look deep inside yourself for the answer...it's there and try to shut out the society blabber that can overwhelm us older mommies.....

Congrats!!!!! My Mother had me when she was 44, recently divorced and 3 teenagers in tow. She always said "I was her miracle and that God gave me to her for her old age" I'm 37 and expecting my 4th. Today it's not considered "old", many are marrying in their 30's and having their first by 35. I believe your as old as you feel. I believe every baby is a "Gift from God" and that God will never give you more than you could handle. I say go with your "heart" and all the rest will follow. My Mom past away 4yrs ago, she was 77. No words can describe the kind of relationship we had. She was my Mom, My best friend, my companion when my husband was always working, my comfort and always brought joy and love into my life. We grew together over the years and she nor I would want it any different. She lived with me my whole life and always said that I kept her "young". Don't worry so much about the future,or the money, or the friends and what anyone thinks. Live for today and enjoy every moment because life is so precious and too short. I was brought up on welfare for the first 12 yrs of my life, we always had food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs. We might not have had the best of things but we had great love!!! It sounds like this little baby within you will have 2 great parents to keep "young" never old, nor boring!!! 2 siblings to always look up to, and a home filled with love. I thank God everyday that she never aborted me. God always sees into the heart and I truly believe this child will be a blessing to all of you, now and in the future. I wish you all the best!!!!

thank you all for your lovely replies. You have made me feel so humble. I have a scan and a termination consultation booked for next Friday 25th and my husband came home yesterday and said let's go for the scan and forget the consultation. When I asked him what he meant - he said let's keep the baby, we will manage and we would never forgive ourselves. I then read all your emails and cried my eyes out. I am still worried but know we will cope and I know I am so lucky, as you say Dunne, so many people would love to be in my shoes. thank you for all your messages- espcially yours glowmom, as your relationship with your mom is what made me broody in the first place. I think we have been in shock for two weeks but are now seeing a postive way forward. Good luck and best wishes to you all, you have all moved me forward in the right direction. In the Woods, I loved what you said about being a youthful mom with a beautiful 14year old and a 12 year old young man - what a lovely thought - must better than my description of older parents - thank you all again.

aaahhh nice to hear, esp. about your conscientious husband.... Reading Glowmom's reply, I remembered a couple nearby - who have a similar bond with their "surprise baby" who is in her mid-30s now. The older kids are close to their 50s and are far away and never seen. Is it a result of different parenting when you are older? I incline to think so. ********* Financially, it is hard with kids, esp. with paying for college/universities, but but but.... To me, it is equally- or worse - sad to see a couple all set with their finances, all debts paid off and they are sitting on their yacht just by themselves.... Their kids are having their own families/circles, or there are great divides built because the parents at the time were young and impatient - or the couple just chose not to have kids for the sake of financial stability. Are they having Fun? I apologize to those who are having troubles getting pregnant and not having kids is not their choice, but I do think that if babies happen to those who did not expect them - it is a gift which would be fully understood only years later.

I am also 42 and right now I'm 28 weeks along. I have been married to the same man for 20 years now and we have a beautiful 17 year old daughter and a handsome 11 year old son. I too had complications in all of my previous pregnancies. This is #4 for me. I lost my second at 20 weeks and my son was a twin. My oldest came by emergency c-section. So I've been there!! This was not a planned pregnancy either. I too wanted to get off the dreaded pill and went round and round with my husband to get a vasectomy. He knew that we were also playing with fire and just prayed it wouldn't happen this late in life. We tried to be carefull but , no such luck. I was mad at myself when I found out I was pregnant in December. I cried every chance I got when no one was around. My husband has been layed off work for five months now and didn't think we would be able to handle the extra expenses. But we rode out those negative feelings and now embrace the new baby with open arms. What will happen , will happen! We love each other and will be there for each other for support. My older children will be there too. They have both said they will be there if we need a "time out" I know they will fade on that after awhile but I am going to hold them to it, so my hubby and I can get a night away once in a while. That's what family is there for, to get your back! I see this little girl inside me as a blessing and can't figure out why I fussed so much in the beginning. Just relax , it will all be fine!

Thank you all for your lovely replies. Unfortunately, it looks like my pregnancy has ended as I have been bleeding since Thursday night. I had a scan on Friday and they said it was too early to tell but it didnt look hopeful - we go back on Friday for another scan. Obviously, I am devestated and can't read my original message without feeling sick. I know a lot of women have miscarriages, but feel this is God's punishment and that we have got what we deserved because we had so many negative thoughts at the beginning. I am trying to be realistic and say that it wasnt meant to be and at least we know now that we do want another child so we will keep trying. Thanks for all your support

Oh Man!! I am so sorry !! I don't beleive God is punishing you though. We all have mixed emotions when we find out we are pregnant! It's just human nature! Please don't beat yourself up over this and think about the "what if's" Keep your focus on the "what will be" Not all bleeding means certain doom! Keep positive! I will pray for you!

Thank you d.y for your kind words. I am dreading the scan next week as I know it will confirm my fears as my b___bs are back to normal and I am still bleeding. I am determined to try again as soon as I can and this time there will be no doubts.

lozzas,dont blame yourself if this pg ends by m/c!!! You chose life in the end...thats what God knows! And its very common to m/c when you are over 40 b/c some of the eggs have gotten older. I am 42 and have had 3 m/c in attempting for a 2nd child. Im happy to say, even at my age (LOL) that I am 31 wks pg with a little girl and so looking forward to her coming into our little family. Put this experience behind you...you learned from it...thats what counts. And best of luck in trying again. Try to be positive, but also remember how lucky you are to have what you have already. Its seems when I stopped "trying so hard" and appreciating my DS and DH, thats when POOF, i got pg..and it stuck.

Thanks Suze42 and congratulations! I know I am blessed with the two children I have got who are both perfect. I have wanted another child on and off since having my son who is now 7 but never really thought I actually could go for it. When I finally did, as you can see I had a huge reality check. I know that some things are not meant to be but I will keep trying now that the doubts have gone.

(((((((((hug))))))))

Hi, I was reading your post, and it hit home. My mother had a child (my little sister) when I was 16 and my brother was 15. I couldn't believe it! She was 36 at the time, and, like your family, i was selfish and didn't want her to have the kid. OH MY GOODNESS, our little sister is such a blessing. I'm 24 now, and she's 8. I couldn't imagine life without her. How cool was it for 4 people (my parents, me and my brother) helping raise a precious little gem. I have to tell you that they probably won't be happy when you are pregnant, but the minute the little one pops out--you are going to have a housefull to deal with the little one. And what a joy it was to have her around. She is a little princess and I honestly am so fortanuate my parents had her. Keep your head up, and your husband/kids will learn that this is a blessing. Best wishes. PS--I'm 24 now and pregnant. My sister is totally excited and can't wait to be an aunt! Take care