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Only you and your spouse (dh) can fully determing what's right for you...no one else's opinions amount to much....But since you ask....Truthfully? No one is ever "ready" to make that leap from single adult to parent. It's the most profound transformation that can ever happen in your life...and no one can truly appreciate it until you have this little person staring up at you whose sole sustenance depends on YOU. Yes it helps to be more prepared psychologically I guess...but I think it is very rare to have "all your ducks in a row" at the moment of truth. That said....there really is not much difference if you got pg now versus a year from now. Slight increase in certain risks at age 35....but even so...your chances to have a healthy baby FAR outweigh your chances for an unhealthy baby. I am a nurse with a fair amount of additional medical training as well so my statements are based on sound facts. Just as an aside...I am 40, have a 21 yo dd, and am currently 3 weeks from my delivery date for a healthy baby boy. He will be the glue that binds my blended family together...my DH has 2 from a previous. I have had issues in this pregnancy for sure...but my doc has it all under control and my son so far is looking great. Good luck

I don't think it's a question of selfishness to wait. Only you two can decide what's right for you. Having a baby definitely impacts a relationship and your life in a big way, and if you have the opportunity to travel and do some other things with your dh, that might be the right choice. If you are willing to accept the (only slightly) higher risks if you wait a bit, then maybe waiting is right for you. The one thing I'd throw out there to consider is that getting pg isn't always easy, and it can get more difficult as you get older. My experience- I wanted to start ttc at 34 (dh and I had been together for 14 years!), but we waited to get a bit more financial stability. I got pg pretty quickly at 35 but had a miscarriage and it took a year and some fertility tx to get pg. Now at 37 we have a 17 week old baby boy who is just wonderful. But during the year that we had fertility issues, I was really depressed because I worried that we had missed our chance. I'm not saying that's likely to happen to you, but it's just something to consider in making your choices. All the best to you!

Thank you so much ladies! I think you are right Val...I may have some trouble getting preg. since dh and i have been trying pretty hard for the past 6 months with no luck! I have an overactive thyroid and have recently got it under control and my drs. said that was the problem but you never know if there are other issues. So, I guess I can't plan on getting pregnant at exactly that time. Anyway, I really appreciate all of the advice you girls have given me. I think I am going to wait another year before we start trying again. Thanks girls. xoxo

You sound a lot like me. You have to make your own decision of what is best for you, but I can tell you, if I had it to do over again, I never would have waited. My husband and I have been a couple since 1989 and were married in 1995. We have a wonderful relationship and love to do things like going to plays, movies, sporting events etc. and travel. We also had our careers, and weren't sure if we really wanted kids. We decided to start trying to have a baby when I was about 34 1/2 to just see what happened. We didn't stress out about it when I didn't get pregnant right away because I had a lot of stress in my life around that time with my career and some deaths in the family . After a year, we called the doctor. It took 3 more years of doctors and 1 m/c before I got pregnant with my daughter. When we initially found out we had real problems (probably not age related) and there was a real question about whether we could ever have a baby, that is when we finally realized that we really wanted a baby. I had my daughter a few weeks after my 39th birthday. While I never felt unfulfilled before we started trying to have a baby, now that I have her, life is so much more fulfilling and better than it ever was before. I just don't think that until you actually have a child you can understand how incredible it is, and how it creates this overwhelming sense of love which is a feeling that is with you every day. Sure, we can't just run to a show at the spur of the moment; usually have her with us when we travel which she loves, but which does cut out a few of the places we might normally go; and we have to plan a sitter if we go places we can't take her (hasn't slowed down the dining out- she goes wherever we go), but now we would rather be with her anyway. I really would like to have more kids, but I don't want to try until she gets a little older because I love giving her undivided attention and because it was such a roller coaster ride of emotions trying to get pregnant the first time. Our chances are slim to none of a pregnancy happening without medical help and I wish we had started trying to have a family earlier so I would be younger and have more time. I'd love to have the ability to wait a few years, then start trying again, but with my age, I can't do that. If I were you, I might really think about using the fun trips you are going to take this year as real good stress free times to maybe try having some fun trying to start that family you are thinking about.

I agree with several of these posts. Only you can tell if you are ready to have a little one. Although, there may be a very slight risk of added problems due to "advanced age" I believe that waiting until you and your spouse are ready is so important. With that said, I am not sure that anyone is ever truly "ready". I wanted to have a big family, but with each baby, I wasn't "ready". I am happy with the way it has all happened for me. I now have 3 children with another due in March/April. I had one at 30, one at 32, one at 34, at one at 36 if all goes well. I am now 14 weeks, and so far have had no problems,the same as with my other 3. The reason I use the "advanced age" is that my friend (who is 35) is having her 3rd and her doctors are treating her as "high risk" due to her advanced age. Ha, have they seen what the ages of some of the stars in Hollywood are having babies, makes us 30's and early 40's girls look like spring chicks. I just thought I'd share.

No, you're not selfish; you're smart! Don't let anybody tell you that you're too old to conceive! Just because they decided to start young; it's usually a bit of jealousy, since they never had the freedom to travel etc.

just adding my two cents to this thread. there's no getting around the reality that fertility starts declining at 35 and rapidly declines after 37. that doesn't mean it won't happen but it does become harder. we started trying when i was 35, got pregnant on first go but i miscarried at 8 weeks. Three months later i was pregnant again but i miscarried, this time after seeing a heartbeat and thinking we were in the clear. It was devastating but we thought I'd get pregnant again soon enough. TWO YEARS on i am finally pregnant again but don't know if it will last. These 21 months of trying have been the most stressful of my life, contemplating a childless middle age. We tried clomid, IUI, and two rounds of IVF. I was set to start a third IVF this month but got the BFP. Amazing. All i can say is if i had to do it over again, i would start ttc A LOT earlier. my husband and i have been together 6 years, we just didn't want to "grow up."

Hi, we too have had so much fun together for the last 15 years, live, work and travel around the world together... We decided to ttc early this year, got pregnant then m/c at 10 weeks. I always thought pregnant is an easy task till now, I learn my lesson at a hard way. But we are going try again, but it's true that time is ticking a bit as I am now 38. Many of our friends have had 2-3 kids already, but I never regretted I did not have a kid earlier as people just want different kind of life.