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dont worry about others and what they think, you are in a new marriage, and you feel like to to make it complete, what is wrong with that? just enjoy the fact that you are making something so special together, sooner or latter others will learn how to live with it. good luck

Hi fairfax, I am in the same boat as you with a little hindsight experience. I am currently 13w pregnant with my second husband's second child (we have a 3 year old together too) But I have 4 boys from a previous marriage (ages 19-13). Yes, in the beginning it was difficult because it was soon after my new husband and I were married (3 months) I fell pregnant so it was a lot for my older children to swallow in a short period of time. But after thier newest little brother was born (yes, 5 boys now..lol) they all fell immediately in love with him. Now three years later, almost four, he is the most loved and spoiled little boy with older brothers who would do anything for him. When I told my older children that we were expecting again they were so excited and supportive this time. yes, my mother isnt as excited as she was when I was having my older children but she understands this is important to my husband and I. I am 39 and some people do look at me twice when I tell them I am pregnant but I will make no apologies..lol..we tried over a year to concieve this baby and it is a gift from God.

Fairfax--I have three children, my daughter, who is from my late husband (1st husband), and my two boys from my ex-husband (#2). My ex-husband conviced me to have my tubes tied when I was late in pregnancy with my youngest son and at a point where I felt trapped in the marriage. My current husband and I discussed it and we are going to have the tubal reversed at the end of May. He has no children of his own and we want one together. We talked to the kids (who are now 21, 14, & 12) and they are very excited at having a new baby brother or sister. I am 41 and still think I am young enough to have a child...so don't stress about your age. As for my mother....she has never been happy about any of my pregnancies and has always made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing. So I have decided that since she will never be happy for me, I just won't let her get to me. Just keep your chin up...you are bringing a miracle into your life. Enjoy your pregnancy and this child and don't worry about what your mom thinks.

Thank you Betul and Annette for your thoughtful posts! They were both very uplifting : ) Betul, congratulations on your upcoming arrival! (baby!) If you have read my previous posts, then you already know that currently I have four girls and the Drs. tell me that my new baby 'appears' to be a girl also! So, I will have 5 girls! : ) Annette, I could definitely identify with your comments about your mother's att_tude. I, too, am pretty certain that my mother never was very excited or pleased with any of my pregnancies - for one reason or another... So, I guess I should not feel hurt this time around either! (this time is a little bit more noticeable- as she doesn't even ask "how are things?" or anything along those lines...) You are right, I have to decide not to let her approval OR disapproval dictate my happiness, especially now that I am 40! : ) ! I would love to hear how things go with your reversal - All best wishes and prayers to you both!

hi, I have 2 sons aged 13 and 16 yrs from my first marriage, I am currently expecting my 1st baby with my second husband of 10yrs (due date 26th jan 07). we have been ttc for 3 yrs after my hubby had a vasectomy reversal, I have had 8 m/c in the last 3 yrs. both of my sons can't wait for me to have a baby and have both TOLD me that it HAS GOT TO BE A GIRL or they are sending it back where it came from. boy do I love my boys. I am 35yrs and hubby is 43, my mother in law thinks me and hubby should be getting ready for retirement (I knew I should have thrown her out of the car at high speed on the manchester ring road), but as long as me, my sons and my hubby are happy about the pregnancy then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. good luck

hello - when i met my wife 8 years ago i was informed that since she was divorced with 2 children, she would have NO more children - in NO uncertain terms. We were in love deeply and though i knew *(& informed her) that i would want a child even MORE in years to come than I did then, I decided to marry her anyways. She has been my true love. We are best friends. Ive remained loyal to her through many of lifes ups and downs and have been very instrumental in raising her children, now 20 and 16. I want a child of my own terribly at this point and she hasn't budged on the issue at all. Though we fought and disagreed over this issue for 8 years nothing changes with her. I've begin to grow weaker by the day it seems now. The reasons for wanting my first child at 37 are far too many to list or even go into *(she's 38). I am frustrated and beginning to feel depressed which is completely contradictory to my personality. My upbeat persona and desires to keep her happy and content are becoming overshadowed by her decision not to have a child with me when she knows how much I want one with her. She is the love of my life and I feel that stepping away from her to find an eligible "mate" to do this with would only satisfy half of my desires because it would hurt her to no end. Yet, it is a suggestion which i can honestly say is making more sense by the day now as much as I hate it. I don't know for certain if my becoming a father with someone else will outweigh the grief of causing her heartache. I have never considered adultery and have faithfully kept my vows sacred and loyal. The fact that I even "consider" this makes me feel that I am going WAY too far. Yet, I really and truly feel that I will make a wonderful father just as I've made a wonderful husband. I am still a little hopeful after all this time though but I am deeply lost in NYC.

I have children from a previous relationship. Kids are looking forward to new baby, though i did tell them that babies are noisy and messy and bigger kids are much more fun. my current partner who is 42 and no children and i decided one more would be fine, no one seems too shocked i will be having my third child at 45 and feel pretty positive, happy and healthy. To brtaylor, having children is a major decision and it is something you have to work out for yourself whether this is important enough to end the marriage, you may stay with this woman and the relationship break down later because you will feel resentment towards her. You did go into the marriage under the understanding she wanted no more children, but then many people DO change their att_tude on things like children, career etc over time, but after 8 years it looks like she is pretty set, i know when i met my current partner i said "definately no more kids", but as love for him grew that changed.

Hello 'Lost in NYC', This is 'fairfax' here, the person who originally started this topic : ) I read your posting and I understand the plight that you are in - and my heart goes out to your situation. Your wife needs to be fair in this matter - I think this is a very critical situation, I mean , the fact that your desire to have children is leading you to thoughts of other relationships - This means you really need to stress to her how far this has taken your thoughts - in a gentle and thoughtful way. She should realize that it is not fair to you to be deprived of parenthood and remind her that she was able to enjoy and be blessed with children in her first relationship and you deserve the same. Maybe you should find out where her reservations stem from...is it age? Money? your relationship? find out the "whys" of her reluctance. Maybe you should share this Board site with her so she will see there are many of us in a similar situation. Don't give up... I think there is still hope! : )

Congratulations Marranie!! I am happy to hear of your upbeat att_tude : ) When is your baby due? Take Care! Fairfax