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Ladies,
If I am in the wrong place then I apoligize but my wife is 43 in a few weeks and pregnant with my first child. I am scared to death.....(due date is 11-22-08)
She has had three other children from a previous marriage and when we met 8 years ago, the idea of a child was not in the plan. Anyway, she is now pregnant and as I read many sites and see the odds of problems at her age, I grow more and more worried. We had two visits with the doc, and he was so casual about answering my questions, I didn't leave feeling any better. One nagging question I have is that when I see, for example, that for her age group there is a 1 in 18 chance of her having a baby with a problem; is this number determined before any test are done, or are these statistics after-birth generated?(that doc couldn't answer this one)
One side of me is very exited, happy. Another side is so worried that I am the only one thinking about the realities of her having a baby at this age.
Any help with the numbers? Thank you so much.
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I don't know how that number is determined, but she will have additional testing due to her age. I would not worry about it unless there is cause. Also- alot of the tests she will undergo have very high rates of false positives, making for a very stressful pregnancy. I tested for Trisomy 18 and my daughter was born perfect. There are many stories of this & similiar issues on this site under "Pregnancy Complications". I know it is hard not to worry, but there are so many babies born perfectly healthy over 40 that al these statistics make us crazy with worry.
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That is just a number that average stats have shown. At 12 weeks and 16 weeks she can have a blood test that will give HER actual stats based on her bloodwork. they measure 3 hormones and come to a conclusion that way. I was 37 when I concieved my last baby and my score was 1/22 for down syndrome and I had a perfectly healthy baby with no DS. Those tests have a very high false postive rate and are very upsetting more often than not. Congrats and enjoy!
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it almost sounds to me like YOU are regretting her being pregnant ("when we met 8 years ago, the idea of a child was not in the plan") --- based on the EDD you provide - she should be having a nuchal translucency test done SOON -- Nuchal Translucency (11w+2 to 13w+6): 5/5/2008 to 5/25/2008. that should help to show you if there is POTENTIAL for some issues -- -- -- but i think the real question you should ask yourself is this ----------what would you do with the baby/ pregnancy IF indeed it does show something is wrong. would you have her abort? would you still want and love the baby? depending on the answer to those questions you can then review the results with a doctor (and remember YOU are paying THEM - they are there to answer your questions - and don't let them leave the room without getting a SOUND & reasonable medical answer.) -- review the results with a doctor and then determine if an CVS or amnio is needed if indeed you were to want her to have an abortion if the NT scan indicated a potential for possible risk. . . . . . . . have you talked to your wife and discussed BOTH of your feelings about the pregnancy together? that may be something on the "to do" list as well......... good luck. there are so many couples who would trade places with you in a heartbeat just to have the chance at having a baby ---- whether it has a "problem" or not. ---- i wish you both whatever outcome you are both looking for - whatever it may be.
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hi hdtwice....congratulations. its nice to see a concerned dad on this site....please try not to worry too much. i think it is fabulous that you are looking for knowledge, just try not to stress yourself out. yes, due to her age there is a higher risk for things to happen, but you have to remember that it does not guarantee that something will go wrong. lots of women are waiting this day and age and they are having healthy babies. ask questions and make whatever choices together with your wife that will give you both peace of mind. my aunt had 1 at 42, one at 45 and another at 47....all perfectly healthy. Julie? no need to make a__sumptions about his feelings...he is hear as a concerned father looking for advice, not looking to be judged for things he did not say or even elude to. people come to this site for answers, not to be chastised for things they did or DID NOT say.
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