Is Something With My Husband

5 Replies
homegirl - March 23

Me and my husband has been married 6 months now. We had a great relationship until a few weeks now he is acting very funny with me for no reason. I had a miscarriage at the end of January,and had my first period on the 4th of March. We did plan to try again for another baby, but now he has completely lost it with me.He gets angry with me for no reason,and does not want me to touch him. He tells me that I am useless and does not want to have any thing to do with me. It is 1month now we have not had s_x. I dont know what to do.Please help me.

 

Confused - March 25

It sounds like your husband is still grieving from your miscarriage. Was he visibly upset, when it happened, or did he try to "hold it all in" for your sake? If he tried to be strong for you, he may have finally cracked under the strain. Either way, it sounds as though it deeply affected him, and he's having trouble coping in a healthy way. He's lashing out at you, and it isn't helping matters. You're hurting just as bad, I'm sure. I'd suggest getting counseling asap, BEFORE you plan on getting pregnant again. Having miscarried myself (years ago, between my first and second child), I can attest that subsequent pregnancies tend to have shadows cast upon them...it's pretty common to be concerned that it'll happen again (to rea__sure you, I only miscarried the one time, at six weeks pregnant, and just gave birth to my fifth child at age 47). Primarily, though, you don't want to add more stress to your marriage, when it's already there. It's best to have a solid marriage, when the baby comes along.

 

tryingx3 - March 28

Also, he could be afraid of it happening again, doesn't want to see you hurting, doesn't want to hurt again, etc...doesn't know how to react, so he is turning away. I agree with confused, let things settle down in marriage before adding pg, will be less stressful for all.

 

homegirl - April 3

Hi Confused, thank you for responding to me.When the miscariage happened, I was very hurt and I cried,but my husband told me don't cry cause the lord give and he takes,and we can try again.It really meant a lot to him that I was pregnant. He did not show any signs that he was hurt.He is starting to talk to me,and being angry.I am going to ask him for us to get counselling when he has settled a bit more.He still does not have any physical contact with me, and I feel very lonely at times,but I want to take it one day at a time.I am 43 and would be 44 in Oct.this year.I was hoping to get pregnant and give birth by the end of this year,but I need to get my life together first. My husband is finally behaving better ,and I hope I can convince him to go to counselling soon. thank you for your advise.

 

ThePezChick - April 4

It sounds like fear to me. Counseling sounds like a good idea. Have you asked him what's going on or told him what your concerns are? Remember, men and women are very different... think differently, react differently to various situations, etc. Good luck! Sending good vibes your way!

 

homegirl - April 12

I have spoken to my husband's sister and she told me that he has always been getting angry all his life,and does not want no one to say anything to him.I told his brother and sister-in-law about how he is behaving, and he was very upset with me for doing so, because they talked to him about it.Every time I try to touch him, he would remind me that I told them about him. He talks to me, but does not have any physical contact with me. I want to ask him for us to get councelling,but I am scared ,because he come to his bed when it's almost morning sometimes and gets up early in the morning.I hug him one day and he told me "that is not going to work and that things could never be the same as before".I told him it's because he don't want it to be the same.I really don't know what else can I do.

 

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