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Col, How is your healing process going? I hope you are ok. I hope when you are well enough that you try again. God Bless your little bean.

Hi Kristin72, thank you so much for asking about me. That is really thoughtful. As for my healing process, I think I am fine, my emotions are up and down, I think that’s normal because of the hormones change. I cry a lot though, and I was so tempted to ask you if this is normal and when I am going to stop. I cry mainly at night, when I wake up and touch my tummy as I use to do when I was pregnant, I use to touch my tummy and smile, these days I feel the emptiness and I do cry. As for trying again, I would like to try now more than ever, but I am still waiting for first AF, and then I will take it from there. I read your experience and your posts about your M/C and I did benefit from it, I am going to conceder my D&C as my first day of AF. I am trying to put myself back on track with temping and prenatal. I started to walk everyday again, and doing acupuncture, ma__sage for relaxing my body and mind. I hope I will be lucky like you and get pregnant soon, I am still hopeful. I have one question, its killing me when it comes to my head. When you had your D&C, did you regret? And wished you waited for another week? Or what if the tech was wrong and I should have gone for a second opinion? Those questions keep coming to my head, they are scary and they make me cry too. Thanks again, and I am looking forward to hear your news. I know you do not know the s_x of the baby, I prefer that, it makes the surprise bigger. And I really hope you sort the name issue soon. Ttyl OXOX

Dearest Col. I'm so glad that you are feeling better although I know exactly what you mean about not really knowing if you are OK or not. I felt exactly the same. Letting go and allowing the tears to fall are definitely necessary parts of that healing process and I remember that sometimes, even when I thought I was feeling better, I would surprise myself by crying for no apparent reason. Night time was definitely the hardest time as you say, because it was quiet and there was nothing but me and my thoughts for company. I think all this is perfectly normal so don't bottle anything up. It will stop - of course - but each person is different and there is no way to predict when that may happen. With me, I suppose it was about a month after the D&C when I started to feel "better". Perhaps it was when my first period came but I'm sorry I can't really remember. I was the same as you though, and wanted to try again as soon as possible (which for me was a positive step) but I waited until I had had 3 cycles as that was what my doctors advised. I'm glad I waited too, because I felt stronger both physically and mentally and, as you may remember, it happened for me and my husband the first time we tried after this wait. Also, I spent that waiting period trying to get fit again and lose some weight and that definitely made me feel more positive about myself as well as the whole experience. Re. your worries about the D&C......yes, even though I had a second ultrasound the day of the operation which clearly showed that our baby had no heartbeat, I still had some thoughts that I wish I had some more concrete evidence. I think that is also normal for a missed miscarriage as everything seems to have happened without your knowledge. I'm not saying that I would have wanted it any other way, as it seemed such a peaceful way for the baby to go, but in a sense I often think something physical would have made it seem less surreal. Don't worry that you're having thoughts you shouldn't have - they sound perfectly natural to me. At least, they're very similar to my feelings at the time. Look after yourself, take care and allow yourself time to heal. It will get better. XOXOX

Col - I would like to invite you to the category Pregnancy Loss and Misacrriage. Specifically check the thread Miscarriage: past, present and not in my future part 4. Come and join us.

Dearest COL ... Great to hear from you, I thought you disappear on us. How are you healing physically? You're not alone on this, we've been on in your shoes adn totally feel what you feel right now. And Yes ... it's the hardest when we're alone and specially at night ... do set your emotion free . I still think of my little one and tears still flow. Re : D&C ... try not to stress over your decision that you've made. It's only natural to question ourselves if we had done our best. Having a D&C done ... I took it as a preparation for the next pregnancy. And I think what you doing is great too ... it's preparation for the next pregnancy. Just remember ... don't lose hope, stay positive and have faith. Take care and God bless. Hugs and talk to you soon.

Hi Col, I feel so bad... I know your feelings of pain all to well. I just want you to know that I felt as empty as you feel and I felt my emotions up and down after the fact. I cried and cried but I let myself cry. I will never truly get over my loss. Before my D&C I went in to go for my CVS. I saw on the ultrasound.. there was no heartbeat..no movement, and they made me cough several times to try and make the baby move. Also, the measurement was behind a week and the baby had morphed into a non babylike state. (Sorry to be so graphic) I was satisfied that the baby had pa__sed. On top of that there was alot of fluid built up around the abdomen of the fetus and it truly did not look right. So I did not feel regret just distress and sorrow. Even before I arrived at the hospital I had a feeling things were off, as my pregnancy symptoms had ceased. The D&C was traumatic for me as it meant the end..they did another US the day of and nothing..and the fact that they did not remove all the fetal tissue did not help much with my healing process. The excessive and lengthy bleeding after the fact was a constant reminder of what I went through. I did count the D&C as the first day of my mentrual cycle though. I did ovulate mid month (as per basal temping) even though I was bleeding. I did ovulate again the following month as seen by my OPK's. And then I went on vacation. I truly was obsessed with getting pregnant again..but for me my obsession paid off. They also did genetic testing on my baby girl and there were no genetic or chromosonal problems..it was not meant to be for my little one. Truly I feel , and have been pregnant for 1 year and 2 months. minus the two months when I had my loss.(Col~I hope you try as soon as you feel ready because your body will fall pregnant when it is ready despite if it is too soon.. or 3 months whatever. Chart your basal temps and use your OPK's as this will definitely help you get in touch with your body again. You can and will become pregnant again...I am confident for you. It is completely normal to feel sad...but do allow yourself happiness too..try to put this tragedy on the side mourn if you feel too but focus on the up and coming pregnancy that could be just around the corner. As you may be aware Pam Anderson just publicly announced her miscarriage. She is 39..it happens to more people than we know..I commend her for being public about her loss. I wish you all the best in your coming months and beyond. Pregnancy is a gift we all deserve...I was fortunate as was Hopefeul and Sann..and many many other women on this board. Baby Dust to you!!! XO Kristin