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I can't believe I am pregnant. While I'm not overjoyed I'm not terribly disapointed either. Because of where I'm at in my life I really don't want to have another child so I have decided on adoption. Already I have found a very nice couple. I look at their photos and I am more excited over the possibility of my child being a big part of their world. I feel so lucky to find such a wonderful couple. They don't know how deep my feelings are about them but I truly think it's a God inspired thing. I look at them and just think of how this baby will love them and see them as beautiful mom and dad. And Ijust love them along with my growing baby in me. I say My baby, but the reality is I really see it as their child. I am anxious to bless them with a healthy baby to love and hold near and dear to their hearts all the days of their lives. Part of me feels weird that I don't have a motherly connection to the growing life in me. As if I'm cold hearted but I guess in the situation at hand (that I don't want to keep the child) its a good thing that I don't feel an emotional bond in a posessive way to the baby.