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Last year on April fools day my husband and I found out I was pregnant. He was 40 and I was 38. We panicked and decided that we liked our lives and were close to completeing our responsibilities with our 13 and 9 year old. We quickly ran and had an abortion. I never forgot that first and what I promised to be last time.
Now excatly one year later I'm pregnant again. We are trying to think things through and though our kids are 14 and 10 I always thought 3 children would be perfect. The problem we face aside from me using all of my acc_mulated leave from work and basically starting over, how will we cope with a ten year old who has siblings who are grown and out of the house. My mom is home and retired, but the thought of having to rely on her for babysitting and the strings that would come attached with that scares me. Also, it would be offensive to her if she didn't watch our baby- she is so dependent on me that it scares me to have to rely on her. I would prefer hiring a person to live in, and leave on the weekends, but my husband opposes and frankly I'm not sure we can afford it. All of these issues is what sent me running to the abortion clinic the last time. My friends told me last time that I shou ld hire someone and not rely on my mother, but the fact remains that that will also strain our budget. I'm torn and don't know what to do. I am my mothers only child so she really depends on me too much- and I hate to have to depend on her. I also want a healthy baby and am a 39 year old smoker. Any advise would be appreciated
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Firstly, Congratulations! I am a mother for the first time at 39 also. Our situations are different but the age is the same. Being blessed with a child at this point in your life may not be as hard as you might think. Try to go with the flow and everything will fall into place. I know this sounds cliche but you will be just fine. Try to quit smoking for the sake of your babies and your health. I don't know where you live but do you have a mat leave? Your 14yr old child is difinitely old enough to babysit at times and will be a huge help to you. I'm sure the 10 yr old can help too. I have a baby that just turned 3 months. I do not have any help. My mom comes for visits but she works full time and can't help. The dh's parents live far and she will not drive here. I am also b___st feeding so it can often be difficult to leave her with someone on a whim. All I can say is when I see her face every morning I thank God for this little miracle everyday. It all falls into place. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. Besides diapers I have not had to spend much money on her as I received many shower gifts that will get me through for the year. Good luck to you and try to enjoy your pregnancy as this will most likely be the last time you will ever have a child in your life..cherish it!!
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