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Confused Im sorry you have had so much to deal with with your pregnancy and your husband. It must have been a hard decision about the amnio and I admire you for making a decision as it is not easy. If you want this baby and nothing would change, you are right not to have the amnio-your reasoning is very sensible. I find the idea of a partial birth abortion horrendous. I think the doctors tell us about the amnio after 35 as they have to it does not mean when you hit 35 suddenly your risks go shooting up overnight! My mother was 35 when she had me and I was fine. I know a few women who have had babies past 35 and no problems whatsoever.

Confused, I am sooo sorry to hear about your husband not being supportive. He should get over his fears or negativity and love and embrace your pregnancy. But, even if he doesn't try to be positive and strong for you and your baby. What you have is so precious and nobody should make you feel bad or question what you are doing - esp. not your husband!

Hi confused. I sympathise with you. I have not had a very supportive partner for the first 3 months. I have been to every doctors apointment with my 10 year old little girl as my partner has said that babies are not his thing. Its made me feel very depressed. I have to say thought that in the past couple of weeks he has started to get used to the idea of becoming a father and is making more encouraging remarks rather than remarks that send me to tears. I have am amnio scheduled on 1st August. I even felt comfortable enough at that point to ask my partner to come with me but then decided I would rather have my mother take me and drive me back as she is more likely to understand. I am really scared about the proceedure and about the risk of miscarriage. I had a miscarriage last October due to a blighted ovum and wish so much that this pregnancy goes well. I am now 38 but have been waiting for the right moment to have another baby since I was 32 and divorced from my previous husband. I would really like to hear from other women who have had an amnio recently and know about their experiences. All the best with your pregnancies!

Margot, I had amnio at 16 weeks and had no problems. I was a nervous wreck going into it. I chose to go alone because I wanted to be by myself in my thoughts. I had to go back two times because the placenta was too close to my intestines to do the procedure safely. It was a breeze. I honestly didn't look at the needle. The procedure took about 10 minutes total. The needle didn't hurt although the cramping was uncomfortable. Good luck. It's easy to say not to worry...everyone does.

Hi Tammy, thanks for your reply! I have also read your post from June 20th so know you are expecting a healthy baby so I am really pleased for you. I also understand confused not wanting to have an amnio as late as 20 weeks pregnant. Dont worry, as Patty said, just because you have suddenly turned 35 during your pregnancy doesnt mean your risks suddenly increased by a huge amount. At around 20 weeks doctors can see from an ultrasound if your baby has a nasal bone and also the length of the femur and other DS markers so they should reasure you from an ultrasound that your baby is normal. I have changed my amnio to 8th August so that I have it done at 16 weeks. I only booked it a week earlier because because it was more convenient at work but was getting more an more anxious thinking that they may send me back with no amnio on 1st August because I would only just be 15 weeks and they may have found it too early making me even more anxious. I want to think that its not going to be painful and that all will be ok after. I can cope with a few cramps but not if I start leaking amniotic fluid. Sorry to go on so much, I am just petrified of the possibility of miscarriage, especially when I already feel so attached to this baby. Do you know how reliable the nuchal fold measurement is? mine was 2mm at 13w3d which is normal and put my risk of having a down syndrome baby at 1/272. I thought my gynaecologist would be very pleased and say to me: Ah! no need to worry about an amnio then! but instead she said: you know this is only a screening test and at your age, you should really have an amnio :-(

To Margot- The doctors do scare the hell out of you. When I went for the amnio the doctor who performed it was the kindest man I have ever met. I did feel a little better when he explained that my chances were less than 3 % at age 45 to have a DS baby. After the procedure he blew on the vials "for luck" and instructed me that it is very important to follow aftercare instructions. I was so nervous afterwards. Every time I had to pee, I was a wreck. I must have been to the bathroom 50 times just to check. It's really important to rest until the next morning. I have a 4 yr old so I was a little nervous but I didn't even have a cramp or anything. Thankfully. I do not know anything about the Level II measurements, sorry I've never had one. Good luck on your amnio. The waiting for the results is the hardest part. For me it was 9 days and when she called I started crying like an idiot.

Tammy, of course you cried! tears of joy! I know I will too. Your doctor sounds so nice, I hope mine is understanding too. If its the same one who did the level II ultrasound he was ok. He asked my daughter if she was excited and was explaining what he was checking for and measuring as he went along. Here you have to wait 21 days for the results but you can pay to have a 95% accurate partial result within two days so perhaps I should ask for that. When you mentioned cramping yesterday, was it just cramping during or just after the amnio? I will take the rest after very seriously but if I am cramping or having odd sensations I will be terrified! Many thanks for keeping in touch, I am finding it very helpful!

Margot - My husband has gotten a little better after the 20 week ultrasound and I hope yours will also. I pray you will have good results. Everyone else. Thank you for your advice and support. The 20 week ultrasound came out wonderful. I realize that many other things could be wrong but I have left it in God's hands. We are having a little boy.

congratulations confused! I am also very pleased for husband is becoming more supportive. I feel mine is becoming better the futher along I am because he is less scared I will miscarry like I did last time but. He hasnt been there for me when I was scared the most but best to let things like that go as otherwise you will end up nothing but bitter and unhappy. I was sure the 20 week scan would reasure you confused. Further scans will only make you feel better. Enjoy your pregnancy!

Sorry I wan't clear. The cramping only lasted the duration of the amnio. My OB practice is quite large. I like the fact that they do everything on premises. For cvs and amnio, they send you to their high-risk doctors. They do them all day long so I felt really confident and at ease. I had read that the results were not available for 21 days but when I had the procedure done, they said 10 days or less. After 2-3 days you can get the downs results only. Are you finding out the s_x? In my heart, I knew it was a boy. I am happy because I have a 4 yr old son. After raising a girl (who is 20), boys are a breeze!

Hi Confused - It's a tough choice and I am sorry your husband has not been supportive. I have no husband and the father of my baby wants nothing to do with this pregnancy, so I am completely on my own. I just turned 37 and I decided to keep the baby (13 weeks) but I am havin the amnio, both because if there's something seriously wrong, I would want to terminate. I just can't (emotionally or more particularly financially) do that on my own. Perhaps that is selfish? But I also feel ok about it as I myself would not want to go through life with a severe birth defect so I don't feel right bringing a child like that into the world. I also want the piece of mind of knowing if everything is ok so that I can enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. Without the amnio I won't have that. The risk scares me greatly, but my doctor has been delivering babies for 30 years and he's never had a miscarriage from an amnio, so I am going to pray, and go through with it. Good luck to you and god bless!

Tammy, I just had the amnio done yesterday. I am having bedrest now (well, just taken a short break to go to the computer!) Now I know what you meant about the cramping. The needle didnt hurt, it was just the disagreable cramping it gave me which was unpleasant. For some reason, I felt what I can only describe as a reminder of the cramping all day and feel a bit tender around my tummy and lower back. I am prone to back ache during pregnancy, probably because I have quite an arched lower back so lying in bed is not helping. I do make myself comfortable with pillows and just hope this is not anything to worry about. No leaking so far so fingers crossed. The doctor was so gentle and calm and explained every single step to me and it was nice to see my baby moving about so much for over 20 minutes. I did want to know what s_x baby was and was shown clearly it is a boy! My partner is a really proud father to be now which is such a relief after him being so uncooperative during the first few months.

Margot- I am so happy you're having a little boy. Please take care of yourself and I am sure everything will be fine. Let me know!