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Are you talking about my education level Col?? Firstly, I do have my honours degree in Sociology and Anthropology from The University of Toronto in Canada. (A highly acclaimed school i might add). I have done an extensive amount of community and social work. So I don't think that putting my education level down for being sympathetic towards Sads position warrants such a remark. I thought many of the comments were valid and helpful, from the women who had responded to Sads situation. Even Sann's view carried much weight. But the approach on the second message, made Sad feel like she was not being validated.. she was clearly asking for support and Sanns comeback was way too harsh for a women who needed support at a desperate time. Col, By insinuating that women here could possibly be making up their stories is hurtful too. Not validating a personal story cold be detrimenatal to a woman reaching out from a volatile situation. You are wrong to say that, and I as a pregnant women take offence to that. I do not agree that Sann's response was "the best " or the perfect answer of the bunch either. There were inaccuracies...Sann referred to Sads relationship as being Sh*t in "HER" words. Whereas Sad wrote that this was the word her boyfriend used to describe the relationship not hers. I really felt bad for Sads situation and I do feel she is telling an accurate description of events that had taken place..like the question suggests..she wanted "support" not advice or scolding. I stand by mine and many of the other opinions of the women there. I too am pregnant ..in my 10th week..and I can just imagine what it would be like to be suffering from the abuse that Sad is...I would only hope I would get support, and not have people say I was exaggerating. I think she was telling the truth.( This is often why women do NOT speak up about abuse) She did not even give her name.. she would have no reason to lie. Let's just try and be supportive towards other pregnant women who are here, instead of put-downs about education levels or summing up people when we do not have the whole story. For all we know Sad is highly educated too..she was smart to come here and ask for support. I hope we can all be more positive toward pregnant women..me included. Kristin

Kristin, if you understood from the word education that I mean women who responded are not educated, you are extremely misunderstood me. I used the word education not as a school education; I used it as life experiences education. I believe more than anybody else, that someone might have the highest degrees, but still screwing up in the real life. So degrees mean nothing to real life experience. And I was clear about it when I said, people judge things from there own angle. So if I do not agree with you approach, or you do not like mine, that does not make you or me any better or worse. We all have our own values, and we are ent_tled to practice them, and judge things based on them. Do you agree with me? Yes I do think of Sann’s answer as a perfect one, because it complies with my way of thinking, but it does not mean I expect you to like it or agree with it. I went back I read what I wrote and the use of the word Education, I can see why you related to school education. But I have to repeat myself again; I meant life experience is the education I talk about here. I know people with PHDs, and trust me they live in misery; there degrees did not do them any favor. I hope I explained myself, and you are feeling offended in anyway. I read all of your posts, and I really respect the way you try to be there for everybody. Talk to you latter with all respect.

Sorry i meant : and you are NOT feeling offended in anyway

I went back and asked someone in the office about the use of the word education, and if I can use it to describe the life experience, she said that will be so misleading. As English is my 2nd language. I do this a lot. For example I use the word culture to describe traditions. :)

Hi COL ... : ) From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely thank you for your support and friendship. And DH, thank you too, he wants me to tell you that as he's been reading too. DH & I, we have been doing this(counselling) since our teens at church, we started off as teen counsellors for children in "difficult situations", through the years, we have "advanced" to marriage counselling etc. Counselling was God's "calling" to us (that's what we feel till this day), we have received training from our church's "Father" and "elders", all who have "Formal Education"(School/University) in this field. DH & I, our professional field, we are in International Banking & Finance specialising in Private Banking. At the moment, we are trying to work towards a "Formal Education" in Pyschology and hope to specialise in Welfare. Education in terms of experiences in this field (counselling), you could say I have, been doing this for almost 20 years. Just needed to tell you "where" I'm from. Talk to later, I have a client waiting. Thanks again & Talk to later. Take care & God Bless: ) : ) : )

Oh Brother..You said,"but it tells the level of education." I know what you meant by that and it had nothing to do with life experiences. The fact that you are trying to go back on it now, suggests that you know you have made an error in either what you said, or your wording about education. Education is education and life eperience is what is also. You wrote what you wrote. Even if you were talking about life experience or lack of...again that is being judgemental..I don't want to read to much into the way you have written things but I am no fool either. You have a right to agree or disagree with whomever...like you, I am voicing my opinion on your negative comments. Despite your feelings for my opinion...you are right I too am ent_tled..I have nothing more to say. I have my own pregnancy and life I wish to attend to. God Bless ALL OF You!!

I really have nothing to add Kristin. Thanks you and i wish you the best in your pregnancy.

HI Sann, hope you having good day today. today is my 15dpo, i feel nothing diffrent. some AF cramps. i think af is coming . talk to you latter.

Hi COL ... : ) I'm feeling good this morning. How are you .. : ) ? I'm crossing my fingers, your af doesn't come(I'm hoping "she lost her sense of direction and can't find her way"). I'm should think I'm on 4dpo and staying positive. TO COL AND ONLY COL ...continuing my last post to you, my thoughts & sentiments.... DH & I and our cycle of friends, totally agree with you cos we've been on this "topic" before. Experience is essential, in life(especially) and professionally. " Formal Education", "PHD, Honours or Bachelor" are certifications to one's" formal training" in a specific field that one has completed. In one's profession, we learn from our seniors(the robes of our "trade"). In one's life, we seek advice/opinion/suggestion from those have experience(they have "been there and done that" .... regardless of age). Posting questions to this forum, seeking advice/opinion/suggestion, some ladies here, are "educating" me in this field ( "pregnancy race"). I sincerely, thank them for doing so : ) : ) : )this "Education" they have, is far more valuable than the "literatures". When it comes to pregnancy.....we seek for an ob/gynae with years of experience, so to put our minds at ease("our babies are well taken care of') : ) : ) : ) As far as I'm concern, FRIENDSHIP has got no boundaries, no matter.... race, language, age, religion or education(formal or life). In God's eyes, we are his children. Opinions may differ & emotions may differ, after all, we are humans(I agree with you, to each it's own) but friends will be friends whether we share the same sentiments or not. T'is Life, full of experiences/challenges and God has his reasons. I'm so blessed to have this new found "friendship" with you and some ladies here : ) : ) : ) When I first started posting, didn't think that I would have such emotions and bond with someone in a forum like this, as there are no physical forms to visualise but words on a cold machine. I truly am, counting my blessings and sincerely looking forward to each one of your post, whom I've "bonded" with. Take care, stay positive and God Bless. Hear from you soon : ) : ) : )

Hi Sann , I got my AF today. Thank GOD the wait is over, it’s a killer. So now I can go ahead with my trip plans with out worries. Oh, did I tell that we are going overseas for a vacation, me and my DH? And all the times while I am waiting, I was thinking, what if it’s BFP, would i still go? So, now it’s over, I can go :) we are both looking forward for this trip, we planned it very well, we are going to Spain :) its one of the dream places I always wanted to go to. I love traveling, I think it expands your horizon, gives you different way to look at the world. The world is so beautiful, the beauty of it is a result of diversity and differences between people and cultures and history. It teaches you how to respect and accept others differences and way of life. Because when you see it on TV, it does not show you the right picture, its always taken out of context, but when you see it live and live it, you kind of relate it and understand it way much better. I should stop now, I think I am carried away with my thoughts : ). Talk to you latter my friend.

Hi Sann, hope you are doing well. i woke up this morning in a very bad mood, i cant stop crying. i dont know what is wrong with me. i think we as women are a very complecated creatures, specially emotionally. do you agree with me ? :) hope to hear from you soon.

I read your last post at least 5 times; it’s full of wisdom and tells how functional your brain is. I am glad that you have a circle of friends around you and your DH that helps a lot, especially when you are all on the same page, at least about the headlines and major issues. For me, I have friends around me, I love them dearly, but all the times I feel out of phase, not because they are not good, not at all. I think it’s just I have different interest in life and different views. That’s why I feel I am from a different planet all the time. I am considered the philosopher. Your comment about the friendship and boundaries is a very accurate one, yes, it’s true, friendship knows no boundaries. It’s amazing how we develop this kind of ties over the forums and all the internet tools, and we feel very strong relation toward each other. I call this the Mental Bond, since we bond based on the way we think, this is a very strong bond I would say. I learned a lot from people on the net, I met smart people who added a lot to my knowledge and experience, and met people who I felt so sorry for them, and this got me to be more thankful to what I have, because sometimes we do not appreciate what we have until we know that someone in this world is struggling to get what we take for granted. God Bless you and you DH.

Hi COL ... : )I'm ok and cheer up : ) : ) : ) Sorry ... I meant to post this morning (Sunday morning for me)but I had to rush to church. Your latest post on Sunday morning(my time).... you sounded so happy/cheerful and excited cos you'll be going on vacation to Spain. You know what, I think ... : ) it's probaby the hormones. Yes, I agree with you, some days I wait up in the morning feeling helpless and emotional ... and I totally have no idea why, strange isn't it. Like....this morning after reading your post, for no reason, 'Sosad' came to m mind and wondered .... how are things going on for her. I started to browse for her update, but she has yet posted. I came across a post by a "certain lady" (I don't think .. she's too "fond" of me), in her post she said, she started to spot again. I felt, kind of "emotional" towards her. I meant to post ... send my regards to her but I'm still comtemplating, I don't think she would be too "thrilled" hearing from me. Under same circ_mstances, a man would probably leave things to be ... allow his "emotions" to "dilute".... eventually die a natural death. Yes, we are such complicated and emotional creatures, as women ... no matter how clear headed we are or can be! For the time being I will keep my emotion in an ar tied jar. Let's... get back to the "happy things/happy thoughts", we surely : ) need to appreciated the people around us more, spend time with them and do something nice : ) Going to vacation ... how long will you be away? Long enough till your next ovulation days ... so you can TTC in Spain. Then, you & your DH can tell your little "bundle of joy", he/she is made in Spain : ) : ) : ) What do you & your DH think : )? Girlfriend of mine, she has 3 kids(all 3 ... about 2 - 2 1/2 years apart), 1st one was made in Bangkok, 2nd was made in Taiwan and her last one was made in Japan. Perhaps DH & I, should go on a vacation soon ... : ) : ) : ) What's your opinion : )DH & I had a busy day, went to church, then to visit our friend & his wife (she just had a baby a month ago) and did some grocery shopping. What did you do .. ? Hope you're feeling better & stay positive: ) : ) : ) Talk to again. Take care & God bless. Hear from you soon.

Hi Sann, thanks for the reply, I feel much better now, I went out with a friend, we went shopping. I think spending money one of the best ways to cheer a woman up :) :) . It looks you had a busy day today, its good to be busy. I would like to have a child that made in Spain, we can name GRANADA. :) :) :) :) :)This is a name of one of the historical cities in Spain. You should read about it, it has a very interesting history. I think we should exchange e-mail, what do you think? Although, Talk to you soon

Hi COL ... : ) So glad your feeling better. Oh ... yes, shopping takes your mind of things, I do that everytime when I get stressed (from work) and yes, I feel great after that : ) : ) : ) That's reminds me .... DH & I went shopping few weekends back (I was upset, af come, I was hoping it was implantation bleeding but no it wasn't), as usual, I love browsing at "baby stuffs" and I was so tempted to buy them. So ... here's my question, do you think it "jinx" to buy "baby stuffs" before you get pregnant. Last time, I only bought a maternity blouse :( didn't get to wear it at all. My mother-in-law says, it's "jinx", very jinx :( she is doesn't want us to buy anything("baby stuffs") at all(she's serious), till I'm at least 25 - 30 weeks (that's if I get pregnant) What do you think? I thought of exchanging emails too, but I have to check with the IT first (banks are strict and I'm an "idiot with all these tech stuff") cos I work from home very often these days( I'll tell you that story another time). If you and I are on the same frequency, I know what you meant by "ALTHOUGH", I'll let you know, once IT give me the go ahead and I think you should check too. I'm not feeling cheery today, got a dateline and I have cramps(it's making me cranky), it's probably the hormones. How's you day : ) ? Talk to you soon. Take care & God Bless : ) : ) : )

Hi COL .. Hi again .. sorry for the typo errors, I'm not my usual self today. Hear from you soon.