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((KIM)) I forgot - buy some Robutussin sugar free cough syrup and take that a few times a day during bd - they say it makes for friendly cm!!

Karen E - Are you still around? How is your pregnancy going???

Hi Nancy2 - thanks for thinking of me. Unfortunately right after my last post I went and had an ultrasound and they didn't see anything???!!! which shocked me as my HCG levels were rising within the normal range. I ended up bleeding quite heavily the same night and the doctor thinks it was probably a blighted ovum. My husband and I never tried to get pregnant and I actually hadn't even really thought about getting pregnant (as he is 45 and I just turned 43 yesterday). I was so shocked at first but then I got used to the idea and I was really happy and excited about it. We have 3 children between us (including my 18 year old daughter, my 7 yr old son, and his 6 yr old son) but none together. I flip flop now whether or not to try again and we kind of made our mind up not to have another one but all I can think about now is having another baby. We haven't really been very careful so I guess we are kind of going with whatever happens, happens now. I am afraid of being so old and having another one, but I am sad when I think we won't have a child to share together. He is an amazing father. The best father I have ever known, and I love children so much too. How are things going for you? How old are you and how many kids do you have? How long have you been trying to get pregnant?

Hi Karen - I'm 43 and we have a 3 year old. I hadn't reallly tried to get pregnant after our son was born until this year when my dr said "if you want another one, you'd better get on it". At that time he put me on clomid and we became pregnant (I say "we" because my husband & I are like a team!). Unfortunately my baby's heartbeat stopped at between 8-10 weeks and I had a d&c. I was totally obsessed when I became pregnant (actually right before that) and then during it, like counting the days, etc. because of some losses I have had in the past. This month however, I have decided to just relax and see what happens. We were going to do the "every other day plan" - which we did when I got pregnant this last time - but without clomid (I am ovulating & delivering eggs), but we haven't quite done "every other day" and that's okay. There's still the chance that we can have another one. My dr told me of two women he delivered for and both were over 46. Today they are fine as were their babies. So hopefully within a month or two we will be pregnant again, we (dh & I) do the footwork (sleeping together) and the rest is up to the God. One woman said that statistically after 40 one out of 5 eggs are good - so we'll see. If I wait to long and try to reason my way around it I just don't want to be someone who is always "wishing" that "I would have done..." You know what I mean??

Karen E, so sorry about your loss. I am 45 and was pregnant in March but like Nancy, after about 8 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat and I had a d&c in May. I have a 6 year old son, but my dh has none. He is 4 years years younger than I am and has never had children, and wants them so bad. He is absolutely wonderful with children and my son elected one year ago when we got married that he wanted to call dh "Daddy." And dh loves him as own. I have heard of several women our age starting with their firsts, so don't give up if it is something that your heart truely desires.

Hi Nancy and Kim; thanks for your replies. I have decided for sure that I am going to try and I find that, like so many other women on this site, that I am getting a little obsessed. I find I am spending hours on the net researching everything to do with being an older mother and all the possible complications. As I said, I got pregnant by accident in January so I'm not sure if it was just a "fluke" or if it will be easy to get pregnant. I miscarried almost 3 weeks ago so I haven't got my period yet. I really should wait for that but we haven't been using anything for the past week or so, since the bleeding stopped. Have no idea if I have even ovulated yet. I guess having regular periods, lots of CM around ovulation time, and the fact I did pregnant without even trying are good signs but I find I am preoccupied worring about it now. How do you both handle it? How long have you been trying? Do you find that it takes away from the rest of your life? Have you given yourselves a time limit? That's what I am thinking of doing. Not sure at this point though. Thanks ladies.

i think reading these message boards has made me more afraid. i m/c in october @ 8 weeks. I'm @ 7 weeks now and hoping for the best, but I keep hearing so many bad things. I'd like to hear more from women who had good experiences ... I've known several women over 40 who got pregnant - had healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. It wasn't until I started reading the message boards that I realized how many people have a bad experience. I think I see more of this because the people who are struggling are the ones posting and looking for answers. Maybe I'm wrong.

Hi ((Kim!!)), Karen & Kato - I hope all is well with you Kim and that everything goes smoothly at your drs appt. I look forward to hearing the "good news"! - I agree Kato, about reading the posts and finding a lot of negative things, but I've found that whatever mood I'm in and whatever I'm looking for is what I find. When I am looking for things that will rea__sure the fact that I'm too old to have healthy children, that's what I see - when I'm looking for support and wonderful stories about women who have had healthy children over 40 - that's what I see. It's whatever I ask for. - I know the feeling (((Karen))) about being obsessed and researching for HOURS/DAYS even MONTHS about the older mom thing. Today (and I say this only after going through what I had too to get to this point!!) Today - I just feel it in my heart that there is another pregnancy for me. I don't think all of the obsession has gone away for me nor has all of the fear, but if I pause and not let the fear run away with itself, then serenity comes and I know that it doesn't have to be so complicated...I do not have to justify to anyone, including my own head, (because of my age) that I should have another baby...I just have to surrender and sleep with my husband -of course!! HA! - I had my son in 2002 and then just enjoyed being a mom until I thought about the bio-clock then began to try again in 2005. How long will I try, you ask...I don't know, I'm going to just take it one day (or night, in my case!!) at a time and have fun with my hubby doing the footwork! It is nice to have all of you to talk about it with and that in itself helps me to not become so obsessed and to become more supportive (I hope) to you guys and to myself.

Hi Kim - you are awfully quiet, are you out there??

I am 41 and pregnant - 34 weeks - I was worried, but all the tests came back fine. I think you just have to have a plan, and stay logical. You can "what if" the pregnancy and be miserable, or you can enjoy it, celebrate it, and cross that bridge if it even comes up. Be possitive!

I am expecting my first child I am 42 and 15 1/2 weeks pregnant and very scared also

Kim - You are in my prayers and I am hoping that you are well. If you get a chance, please write.

Hello. I too had a miscarriage for the first time after trying to have another child. We are pregnant with our 2nd child (5 weeks now) and credit all the success to a product called "Ovulex". I got pregnant after having taken it for only 5 weeks. It's a wonderful product and I would highly recommend it to those that have a problem with their hormone levels.

I'm 43 and 10 weeks pregnant and scared too. I have 3 gorgeous boys and am worried for me and for the baby. I need support and help too. Glad i'm not the only one.

I am 42 and have just miscarried at 5.5 weeks. I had my first baby at age 40. I had some misgivings about this pregnancy and was in shock for a few days, but then I came to realize how blessed we are to have been given this opportunity for a new little life and I began to feel more calm and happy. My husband and I had been getting more and more excited and started talking about names and making plans. If you are over 40 and pregnant, stop worrying and just pray for a healthy baby and thank God that you have been given this new little life. Don't worry about the nursery decor or all the tests, just enjoy your pregnancy. Even though mine ended in miscarriage, I have learned a lot about myself and about my husband. My doctor said to wait a cycle or two and try again. So there is ALWAYS hope.

Hello "scared", Yes , I do worry sometimes BUT I keep trying to remind myself to 'relax', 'focus on positive', pray, and just take good care of myself...AND of course this site helps a lot to reinforce positive thoughts!! : ) I had two Drs. try and convince me to go for the quad screen, but since this was only based on my maternal age at conception (39), I chose not to do the screens. But I did have a 12wk and 20 wk ultrasound instead. (If there would have been reason for concern after the ultrasounds, I may have thought alittle more about it.) I told my Dr. that after doing some reading on my own, I felt there were way to many "false" positive results returned from those blood screens and I, too, did not want to go through all the invasive procedures (some risky) not too mention all the worry it would cause. So, for me, ultrasounds were as far as I chose to go. The rest I try to remind myself, is in God's hands. By the way, I turned 40 in March and am now about 26wks with my 5th child (first for my second husband and I)