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Carly67, I agree to an extent. I am new to this forum and have noticed this trend. Most of my postings have been on the lighter side of the preg. factor, ie: insane cravings, new TV shows, finding cute clothing, etc. BUT you have to remember, the ma__s majority are people who are NOT physicians or the like and have questions. Probably not the best place for answers, but I think it gives them (us) some ideas of questions to ask the docs. I am 42 and this is our first child (7wks), two prior mc, I have 3 older children. Good luck to all. PS: Just stay away from those that are too depressing to you. I do.

Carly I agree with you I get scared everytime I read some of these. I am expecting my 4th child I will be 36 when it comes. I had a tubal reversal in Oct 06 and this has given me hope as well. The problems getting pregnant site. I am like you looking for a positive board to join in on and have posted here looking for someone to take this journey with. I never get a response. So on your advice I may move to the 1st trimester board thanks for the tip and I say go for it have that last baby! if all your pregnacies have been great and the dr tells you your good then do it! your dr. knows what he/she is doing Congrats on your recent birth! I will look forward to your future post saying your pg again!

I hear ya Carly67 BUT I think that getting preggers later on in life naturally brings with it different challenges than when you are younger. I honestly believe the trick is to accept all the setbacks as part of the journey towards hopefully having a baby. If you don't make peace about the journey then I think you can get negative...I do also have to say that sometimes doctors/nurses...well the system could use a bit of an overhaul! So often people don't get the information they need from their heathcare providers OR very sadly they end up with a doctor that has bad bedside manner etc. I think a combo of the two may be the reason why these boards are so busy. Goodness knows it has been a long journey for me and there are times when you are in emotional agony - waiting for results, tests etc...we are in fact there right now! See my thread for our story - Vanishing Twins! Anyways - I think the hardest thing for all of us is to understand that the struggle is a part of the story towards becoming a mom!

Red said it right women learn from one another and and gives many of us hope. Women are having there first babies much later in life than our mothers and grandmothers who were more than likely having their last by age 40 and if they had problems it may have been more acceptable because they had three or four. Women come on here for support as when you experience miscarriage or fertility problems the odds of having a friend or relative with the same problem are slim. There are plenty of upbeat forums on here like first tri, 2nd and third. I would love to be in your shoes going for my fifth, i am 38 and have had issues since age 31 but count my blessings being able to have my son now 5yrs old.

carly - congrats on your 4th baby - but i have to say it with a note of caution - yes, some of this info on here is depressing - but that is LIFE. some of us are not nearly as lucky as you to have FOUR babies - but instead some have had FOUR MISCARRIAGES - (or more) and that is depressing. it is awful. and i don't expect anyone to understand it that has not gone thru it. that said - i imagine with a newborn and 3 other children - you are going to be so busy taking care of them, that you won't have time to read thru all this stuff that depresses you. honestly - it is almost saying like you are on a board and people have a disease (which infertility and secondary infertiity is!) whatever it may be - cancer - heart disease, multiple sclerosis - whatever -- none of it is contagious - but it is alot of depressing stuff - stuff that people who are suffering thru it appreciate talking to other people who can relate to it. clearly you are not challenged with these peoblems, so you don't necessarily understand, this may be some people's only outlet. why you would be (and i quote you) "scared out of my wits" or needing to "rethink everything" is as ludicrious as saying you don't want to learn more about say cancer ---- it doesn't mean it will happen to you. but you really did make me (if not anyone else) uncomfortable and defensive because of your comments about how depressing it is -- but let me ask you this - wouldn't you be depressed if you just lost your child??????? you really don't feel like throwing a tea party! what's that saying - - - - - walk a mile in my shoes . . . . .

Sosad I had scares with my pregnancies and with my last do you know at 7 weeks and five days I was told by a doctor that had misunderstood the results of my sono that something was terribly wrong with the pregnancy and the baby had no heartbeat. My husband and I were out at dinner celebrating when I got the call. She kept telling me to get to a private place and I kept asking her if she had the right person but my heart sank and then she said she would call me right back and she did indeed have the wrong information. I was also spotting brown with this pregnancy and early on had pink which caused me to think I was miscarrying. I had plenty of scares had to go to a specialist because of the results of a toxoplosmosis test so I was scared plenty and had some really tense moments. I am scared because that is the way I am, the first trimester is very hard for me. I always think I am going to miscarry. I worry a lot and that is what I am talking about. I feel for all of you who are going through something right now and to those of you who have lost a baby or more. I think that has to be awful and if you can find support here that is wonderful for you. I hope you don't take what I was saying the wrong way and I still don't understand why you said congratulations to me with a note of caution. What does that mean. I feel for anyone who has trouble getting pregnant or staying pregnant or who has lost a child. I am a very compa__sionate person and if you read post I write I am always saying prayers for people going through a rough time. I know I am blessed to have had four children and I do not take it lightly at all. I always tell my husband we are blessed and he knows it too. I do not take my children for granted. Good luck to you all and you have my support.

carly - the note of caution is simply that. don't read into it. as for having a scare with a baby you can hold in your arms, kiss and tuck in to bed at night - it is COMPLETELY not the same as losing a baby. and as i posted before you cannot understand until you have been there. and i wish that on NO ONE! i certainly hope that you can stop worrying, like i said it isn't like a cold, you can't catch losing a baby. good luck to you.

Hi Carly, just wrote you back in my post. So as not to repeat cause it is lengthy, please go there and read it. Love and God bless

Sosad I know how blessed I am believe me especially when I have read what others have gone through and are going through and that is the reason I question and think about having a fifth it is a question for me of could I have a fifth and be blessed again or am I crazy to think of it. Like I said I know many people who have one or two kids in their forties and things have gone well but it i

Carly i am one of those women that sosad has talked about, having had 4 mc's and without this forum i would have been lost, no one in my world understood...no one not even my husband. It is depressing and sad but it is a place were hopes and dreams survive among the ones who overcome their problems and finally get the baby they truly deserve. You are so blessed, so blessed just like all my friends and sisters and cousins that have had no problems, I wish that could have been me but alas it was not meant to be.

-- denise b -- well said --- amen to that. and i am so very sorry for your losses. i am sure that someday you will have that little baby in your arms to hug and hold and kiss goodnight. ---- carly - ya just won't get it till you live it - and for your sake i hope you never get it.

Sosad I do have a son like I had stated above, I had him after my first mc and then went on to have three more mc's. I forgot to mention I am also optimistic and I think quite positive. I could sit here and say why me but then again why not me, i am one of the lucky ones who actually gave birth to a perfect baby, I count my blessings and I move on. But I try be very sensitive and compa__sionate to all the other women on here who have yet to experience what I have. No one truly understands the pain of miscarriage unless they have experienced it. There are so many courageous women on here and I am honored to be among them.

I am 41 having my 5th. I am one of those who put up a high risk test result question. I am now 15wks and have had 3 ultrasounds which have looked fine. I wish I had never had the nuchal testing done. Someone wrote to me and said that her Dr. had said not to do any testing as with my age group it would always come back high risk. I didn't have an amnio as it was even a greater risk. My advice is to go for it but don't do unnecessary tests. I am not worried at all and look forward to my 19wk u/s. People have normal healthy babies in their 40's and even 50's all the time. Congrats on your 4th.

Cherie I had the nuchial with my fourth but never had the blood tests like AFP or quads even when in my early 20s because I had heard horror stories about false positives so if I refused them when I was 19, 21 and 25 why would I do it when I was 39? So I know my doctor pushed for it for insurance but I said no. We did do the nuchial and it was fine but I still worried even with the level 2 being totally normal. Did your nuchial come out high? Did you have the blood work with it?

I had the nuchal which was actually fine and put me in the low risk but they did the blood test as well and when they combined that with my age it put me in the high risk area. With my 4th I had the nuchal and no blood test and I think was about the same as this one. It was a great shock at 1st this time but now I look at everything in perspective I'm not worried at all. I guess I will wait and see my 19wk scan. My Dr. said that if this is fine then my risk factor halves again. I have heard so many stories about these blood tests that I am going to ignore the result and go by the ultrasound.

Cherie, like I said I never had the bloodwork. When you say with your fourth you did not have the bw just the nuchial and the result was the same does that mean the nuchial alone with the 4th put you in a high risk group?