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You can have two parents in a household and still be a one parent family. My ex husband took absolutely no interest in our children at all. Totally ignored and belittled them and was verbally abusive to the point where they were withdrawn and in need of counseling. Charlotte you must not have children as your views are very obscure you have some serious issues. As for women living off the state, some of us don't but if we ever need help at least it's there for us I've paid taxes for 26 years and if I need to feed my kids because I loose my job I'll get food stamps until I find another one. Have you ever been on unemployment? same thing in my book. I never have but lots of people do so does that make them bad people because they have to pay their bills? I think not. My children are well adjusted teenagers involved in many activities and church with lots of friends and family with no issues regarding my single parenting status. Both get straight A's and are on the honor roll. As for your friend who didn't want kids and her husband did. My Aunt said the same thing and her husband agreed until he hit 45 and found he was missing something he always wanted. He divorced her and left her with nothing, took all the money and nice cars and married within a year and had 2 children with another women. Your friend is happy but is her husband? Not if he truly wants a child and she is making him choose. That is not Love it is control.

I want to make it clear that Sue Z. and Susi are not the same people. If you always put your child first, like you should you will have less problems and a 4 year old compared to a teenager? I have worked with teenagers for 12 years and they are not the most rational, straight thinking, mature people in the planet. They struggle everyday with being a kid and growing up. They are self centered by their level of development. When they hit their early 20's they start to mature and see beyond their own world. Teens live in a world of their own. Charlotte - you are seeing everyone's world through rose colored gla__ses. Do you know how many kids live in a single parent household and turn out to be great productive members of society? I will say again, in a perfect world all parents would know where their 11 year olds are at midnight, they would not do drugs in front of their kids and we would have neighborshoods filled with two parents who love each other and create all these wonderful children who don't swear or sell drugs. The anger I see in children comes for a lack of love and parenting skills. I deal with kids everyday and it is not a single household that destroys kids, it's the lack of parenting skills, lack of care, and abuse. Spend a few years in a school and you will realize that a lot of the kids are better of with one parent, or a set of new parents. I've seen some sad cases in my career. It doesn't matter that the parents loved each other at one time if the kids hate their mother because she is a selfish drug addict that picked her drugs over her kids, you get an angry hurt kid. As Susi stated in her question "I don't want to abort." She has her answer she just needs the courage to do it on her own. It's scary, but she will make it.

You are sooo Right!!! Well said. I totally agree with you!! I came from a one parent home and turned out just fine!

human life is not an accident. God gives life and God takes life. HE decided this child should be. HE says in the bible that "I created you and called you by name BEFORE " i " created you in your MOTHERS womb.". THAT child is meant to be just like you and i are. YOU had s_x and conceived ( thats how children are conceived by the way). you only have less than 8 months in your life ( by the time you find out your pregnant) dont brutually torture a precious life, That baby might even look like you, and give it to a couple who would die for the chance at being a parent if you cant raise it.

well you could always choose to put your child up for adoption... we are a loving family that would love to welcome your child into our home... please contact us at: wannabe_mommy1100@yahoo.com

My friend and her husband appears to be happy.She did'nt want kids,her husband is from a large family.Apparently he told her that it takes two to have children,and if she don't want kids he has to respect that.He worships her,and she knows it.As for him leaving her for another women just because she won't give him children,I doubt that very much,they adore each other,especially him.I tell her the way she treats him sometimes,he should stand up to her,she don't know how lucky she is.As for me yes,I've got children,I remember yrs ago,my great aunt having to raise 3 kids on her own when her husband died,she would'nt dream of living off the state.I am saying it is very difficult to raise a child on your own,don't just look at how you feel when you have the baby in your arms.I believe it takes two people to make a baby and it should be the intention that the same two people raise it with values they share.

I'm am totally on Charlotte's side.

Thank you Lily for being on my side.I think people are too quick to judge "dump the boyfriend,keep baby".These people,including me,have no idea what this woman is like,just like another similiar post.I am pointing out that is is not as simple as people are saying,you have a dependent for life,a ma__sive responsibility hugely more impact on your life,than just falling in love with a baby as soon as you see it.I think it is unfair to bring a life into the world in doubt,thats not how creating a baby should be about.A baby is a creation out of two people in love,thats how it should be,you face difficulties together.If you get divorced even then you have tried to raise children together and have a bond,but to go into being a mother from the start alone is very difficult.By the way I spoke to my friend over the weekend,she is too career minded to have kids,her husband did'nt know that when they married,just a__sumed.She said they love each other,and has complete trust in her husband that he loves her for her,not as a breeding machine.If he did want to leave her to go and start a family then it means their relationship was not strong anyway.I respect her honesty and his love for his wife.

Charlotte, you couldn't have said it any better that that. I totally agree with you on the fact that too many people on here immediately say dump the bf and keep the baby, without even expaining why. And these women asking for these opinions keeping harping on the fact that they're "running out of time" or it's their "last chance", which is a selfish reason by very nature!! I am in my mid 30's and just got pregnant for the first time by my partner who loves me and is completely in love with the idea of this baby. I was afraid too, that I may be running out of time over the years, and I was pregnant once before by someone who was not in love with me and not supportive and I decided not to keep it and it was the best decision of my life. It would have been chaos and unfair of me to keep the baby at that time. Today, the very thought of this person makes my skin crawl. I also know too many friends who kept their baby's for all the wrong reasons and are unhappy and their kids who are now in broken homes, with tension filled lives and not spoiled by the love of a MOMMY and a DADDY are just as unhappy. That's not to say that there aren't exceptions, but I wish people would stop talking as though keeping a baby in a bad situation is as easy as keeping a stray cat!

KK Title of Question: Tricking hubby into thinking your taking BC? Question: I am ready for a baby, but hubby says no. I havent been taking my BC. He thinks I am. Has anyone else ever done this? How did it work out? Would you still be blaming the guy in the end and telling her to keep the baby?