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If I were you, I would just try to get him alone and bring it up in a pretty straight-forward manner--maybe go out to dinner or have dinner at home w/o your kids. He will probably be happy about it. You are still plenty young enough to have a baby, if you want to. Are you happy about it? I am 37 and pg w/my first and I work more than full time. Don't let those things get you down!

It takes 2 to tango! :-) Just remember you didn't get pg alone! ha ha....

Thans for your support. I did have him alone this morning after we dropped the kids off at school. He was not happy at all. He says I ruined our lives and wants a divorce. He said he is not raising anymore children. I am thinking about having an abortion even though it goes against everything I believe in. I feel lost and alone and don't know what to do.

I'm pg with my 2nd and I'll be 35 in October (due in November). My husband and I weren't planning on another one either. I bought him his favorite beer, a pack of smokes (which we've both quit since then), and told him while sitting on the back deck. He was in shock, as I was when I first found out. After a day of quiet quandary, he finally smiled about it. It was a decision that we both made to not "try" to have anymore because of the major problems I had with my first pregnancy. But everything now is looking great, I'm feeling great and that's put us both at ease. Now he's as excited as I am to see new baby things floating around the house. =)

Sounds like there are bigger problems than an additional baby in your household. Good luck! Any chance at getting him to go to counselor, minister, someone? with you?

dz, I am sorry to hear about your dh's reaction. That is a really tough situation. Think about what you want and how you want to handle everything. If you decide to terminate, do it because it is what you want and not because he is forcing you into that choice. Try to talk to someone that deals with family counseling issues in your area if that is possible to help you get through this no matter what you decide. Best of luck to you.

DZ, be strong! If you are working a full time job and raising 2 kids it sounds like you are more than capable of handling this, even though it must seem impossible. It must be very difficult, but remember YOU did not ruin your life or his, and this certainly isn't part of your evil little plan to do so. He is just as responsible as you! I really would advise you NOT to do anything that you don't believe in or don't want to do because you'll have to live with that decision for the rest of your life. Do you really want to do that? I'm not a right-winged conservative Christian (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I honestly believe that you shouldn't be pushed into terminating a pregnancy if you are against it. Good luck to you. I wish you the best!

Thank you again for all of your input and support. I went Friday to have an abortion, but I counldn't go through with it. I came home, but didn't tell my husband where I had been. But when I walked in the house I think he instinctivly knew what I had been planning. We talked, a lot. He said he couldn't live with the thought of having an abortion. It probably isn't the easiest thing for either one of us, but I think we will make it thru. I hope we will. He sounded more positive than when I had first told him. This is going to change my life more than anyone knows. It seemed like it was much easier when I was younger. My life felt stable before this, I have a good job, my kids are older and are both doing very well in school, my husband and I can come and go as we please. We both try to do what we can for his mother and my grandmother. I just don't know how having a baby is going to affect all of this and my job. Maybe it is the thought of the unknown. I am being groomed for the CFO position, I think this will be a big b__w for those who were depending on me. I know careers come and go and are NOT the most important thing in life. It's just I have worked so hard, I am not sure where it is going to lead me now..... I love what I do, but by having this baby I can't be working the hours I have been. It seems like there are so many hurdles that have to be overcome just to have this baby, I start wondering if I am making the right decision.....

dz, I am so glad that you and your dh are working this out. I have thought about you lots of times and wondered how you are doing. It will definitely be a life-changing event for you. I have a very strong career as well. My dh plans to take the primary responsibility when our baby arrives. Maybe that is something you can consider? If not, and you want to keep your career, you can certainly do both!! You will work it all out and things will fall into place. BIG congrats to you!!

I also forgot to say that I am sure your kids will be really happy. I have a 10yo (almost 11yo) stepson that is absolutely thrilled that he will be a big brother. I was nervous to tell him at first, though!

Wow, that's a huge change of life for you, dz. The one thing that you have to agree with your husband is whether to have the baby or not (it seems that you agreed to haveit). Now, put all your efforts in deciding the financial and career sides. Could your husband be a stay-at-home-dad? Could you have a nanny? (if Yes, then the time to look for one is now). Could you have shift jobs that one of the parents is always with the baby? Could you cut on expenses so one of you can work part time only? Could your sons spend an hour or two with the baby where you fall short on time? It IS a huge change for an established life, but think of 10 years from now - your older sons will be gone, and you will still have a little sunshine in the house.

dz - I too have wondered/worried about you! Sounds like the lines of communication are open - now that the shock is being addressed! Many women have careers and babies - I still haven't gotten all of the childcare figured out and I deliver in 4 wks or less! Something will work out and like others have said - he/she will be the light of your life!

hey dz.. im happy to see that your husband finally snaped to his sences and i believe everything is going to be ok.. and yes i feel you have made the right desition . it might be hard in the begining and i know you love your job but from my personal experience i could tell you that if your employer is saticefied with your work and you were due to get a promotion i dont think that thair going to let you go that easily.. who knows they just might try to make it convient for you both so you dont lose your job altogether.. if they value your work. then i wouldnt worry. in the begining things will be rough yes but they get better afterwards

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support. It has really helped me thru. I just wanted to give an update on how everything is going. My husband is coming along with the idea of having a new little one around. We found out it was a girl, so that really put him back some. He is all about the boys. Like I said before we have 2 older boys soon to be 16 and 13. So having a girl will definitly be a change. We are still trying to figure out the financial end of things. I really don't want my older boys to have to make sacrafices because of my decisions. My sons are getting more and more excited as there seems to be more baby stuff around the house. There is just so much to do and time is running out. My job is coming along. They are still very demanding on me and I am beginning to wonder if it will work out after the baby is born. I really don't want to continue to be working 10-12 hour days after I return from maternity leave. I don't know if my current job, where I have been for 7 years now, is where I will still want to be. On top of that it is a 3hr commute a day. But on the flip side they do let me work at home as needed, which I can't complain, it really gives me some flexibility. With everything that has happened in the past 8 months I still question my decision, but I know in my heart I made the right one.

DZ- I just read the thread. My God, I felt your emotions... You should read back over the thread again also and see how far you've come! God is so good! Who knows... You may have the next president in your stomach or the person who will find a cure for cancer or aids... I am so glad you didn't abort your blessing... You've made it through all these months!!! Now, look at you girl! You are trying to decide if you can work f/t or not. Thats wonderful! Keep up the great work! I am going to a infertility clinic tomorrow... My husband and I want children. The road for us has been abit difficult but I will do anything to have a child.

Sounds like this baby is a blessing in disguise. I commend you for being strong and not having an abortion. This little girl will be the best thing that has ever happened to you..a miracle of sorts..I know this for sure. When is your due date? Again~ Congratulations and all the best to you :)