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Sounds like this baby is a blessing in disguise. I commend you for being strong and not having an abortion. This little girl will be the best thing that has ever happened to you..a miracle of sorts..I know this for sure. When is your due date? Again~ Congratulations and all the best to you :)

It's true it took the both of you to get preg, so you shouldn't have to feel burdened, as if you did something wrong. What gives him the right to say YOU ruined your lives? It was his sperm, after all. I had an abortion when I was 22 and THAT just about ruined my life. I'm so glad you decided not to go through with that. i'm sure your little girl will indeed turn out to be a blessing.

MsMonet: I thought I had sent my reply, but I don't see it up here. I just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers. I really hope you get pregnant. I can't imagine everything you are going thru. It must really be difficult. God blesses us all in different ways. I will pray that he sends a special blessings your way. Good luck at the fertillity clinic. I am sure everything will work out for you. Stay strong.

I do believe this baby is a blessing. I still feel unsure of myself, but I am truly glad I didn't have an abortion. I don't think I could have lived with myself. By the way my due date is April 9.

DZ, I just read this thread for the first time and was very moved by your entire journey thus far. You are strong and brave and that strength will bring you through the tough spots. I think you saw right away what it took your DH longer to see--that having a child now would be hard but not impossible and in the big scheme of things, a beautiful blessing. I too have a good but sometimes difficult DH. We had tried for 7 years to conceive and I had a myomectomy for fibroids and conceived on my first cycle after the surgery (which I'd had for reasons other than fertility) I think back and it was about a week or two into my PG, I didn't know yet, and my DH said something to the effect that he thought maybe it was for the best after all that we never managed to have a child.He said this mainly because of all the nieces and nephews that we often wind up caring for in one way or the other because their parents are irresponsible, etc. Well, we did have a beautiful baby boy and he and his Daddy adore each other (he's a year old now) but the pregnancy was hard at times because of the adjustments you go through.I don't know if the knowledge of what a newborn entails worked for or against you, both I guess.But every bit of the difficult times are worth it because of the love and wonder a child brings. I know you'll make it just fine and how exciting to be getting a girl after having your two sons. I didn't care about the gender myself but it must be lovely to experience both.Congratulations and kudos for being so strong. Have you thought of names yet?

DZ, I have an aunt who found herself pregnant at 44. She already had 3 teenagers and did not want anymore kids. She was shocked and her husband (my uncle) really pushed her to get an abortion. She made an appointment, but at the last minute could not go through with it. They gradually got used to the idea, and actually became excited, though anxious. Now they have an amazing 8 month old son who they are all besotted with. They cannot imagine life without him, he is the center of ALL their lives. You are doing the right thing. I think the hardest part is getting used to the idea. Good luck to you and the family.

well a baby is a gift from god and you should just como forward and tell him im shure he would be happy

You could try this approach: first tell him something much worse than the truth. Like, tell him you are pregnant and the dr thinks it's twins. Then, when it turns out to be only one, he should be relieved. my advice is: don't listen to my advice, I'm stark raving pregnant.

to the people on the last couple of posts, her husband already knows, you should read the rest of the forum before answering...

Reading your story is almost like reading my own. At the age of 34 I got pregnant. We already had 2 boys, ages 11 and 15 and my husband didn't want anymore. When he found out, he was also furious and talked about divorce and an abortion. I told him that I would get rid of him before the baby. We weren't even allowed to talk about the baby because he didn't want to hear it. Well, I took him with to my ultrasound when I was about 4 months and he did a complete turnaround when he found out it was a girl. After that he couldn't wait until she was born. I think alot of it came from the fact that when our oldest was born he was a twin, his sister died shortly after her birth due to a neural tube defect (which we knew about when I was 4 months pregnant with them) also we were not financially stable when we were young. But now my husband has had a good job for over 10 years in a good company and the funny thing is that after we had our daughter, who is now 4 and a half, we loved having a baby in the house again so much, that we also had a son who is 3, another son who is 1 and I am 3 months pregant with our last (ALL PLANNED). Life has a funny way of working out and when your husband gets to hold his daughter there will be nothing that he won't do for her, believe me. Good luck...

DZ I have a 19 almost 20 year old daughter a 17 year old daughter and a 15 month old son. My husband was completely in shock but once he got over the initial fear he was great and to add to our blessing I am now 8 w 3 days pregnant. My husband and I have a running joke that I am allergic to his sperm and break out in pregnant. It is a huge difference to have older children then a baby but I found that we have so much more patience now with our son. The girls love him and it is now hard to picture our family without our little man in it.

On April 3 I had a beautiful baby Girl. And what a blessing she is! She is 2 months old now and my husband and the boys just adore her. After everything I went through I am glad about the choices I made. I can't tell you enough how much I just love this little one. She is a blessing! My two sons have become very attached and protective of her. They play with her in the morning before school and can't wait to see her after school. My husband has become the most proud father I have ever seen. I want to thank everyone for all of their advice and support.

Oh, dz, I am so happy for you and grateful you wrote us all to tell us how you are doing. I don't remember many of the posts long after I've read them but yours is one I thought of still. I had a good feeling about the future for you but I knew it might be a long journey. Congratulations to you whole family on your beautiful girl. What is her name? What did she weigh? How old are your boys?

Her name is Kristen Elizabeth and she weighed 8lbs 2oz and 20in long. My older boy just turned 16 on April 1 and my younger one turned 13 on March 29. So there is quite an age difference, but I don't think the boys mind. They really love her! I wouldn't change it for the world.

what a great update! Thank you for sharing with us.

Not to sound corny or anything but I actually got goosebumps reading the entire thread on you DZ...Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!