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Noelle- I'm glad you are trying to get a grip on your feelings and you are trying to get some advice but when you say stuff like you thought you mother already went through menopause, that sounds like a 14 year to me. You must know when women start to go through menopause. I don't want to put you down but you need to make it a goal of thinking more positive about the whole situation. You have too!!! You have a little baby brother or sister on the way. Just try to push some of these negative feeling aside. I suggest you talk to your mom on how you are feeling and get some insight from her. She is probably so excited about her new grandbaby coming and will make a big deal about your pregnancy as time gets closer. You both can be a big support system to each other but you have to get rid of any negative thoughts and be positive. Good Luck and God Bless!!

One more thing, I was reading over your post and your mom having a baby is most difinitely not a horrible or bad situation. Now if your mom was terminally ill then that would be a horrible or bad situation. Be happy for your mom, thank God for giving her that blessing in her life, and push those selfish, negative feelings out of your mind. God Bless!!

i am not trying to be ignorant, but everyone views their own mother in a certain way, as a rolemdel, an older womn to look up to , I started to have this picture of her a GRANDMA and giving me advice from hen she used to have little babiess, but now its like, wow, she is on the same level as me! I don't think its a horrible situation, that came out wrong..

Noelle, part of this due to the fact that your mother obviously had you when she was young, and now you are becoming a mother relatively young as well. Hard to think of a 38 year old as a grandmother!

sinc when is 20 too young to have a baby, i mean I don't think 38 is too old , its just that she is my mom! But twenty isn't too young either

I think 20 is young. I'm not saying it's too young. Not for everyone. It's an individual things. But I do think it is on the very young side. I'm sorry, but you asked.

thank you fo r your help ladies, just trying to gain some insight! good luck to everyone! I am sure I will not be a worse mother because I am young...

I think you should tell her how you feel and maybe get back to this here later because I understand what you are saying and I can really see how it broke your family veiw . I admitt you must be feeling very out of place right now . It might take some time to sort out because it does seem a little unusual and a hard concept to grasp that your son/daughter may learn the ABCs(alphabet) or how to ride a bike before his or her uncle or aunt ... anyway I'm sure you will adjust over time and love them both . Thankyou for sharing your story , it really makes a person think . Best wishes and all the best .

She's 38, not dead nor has one foot in the grave! I think you ought to be proud of the fact she is preg. I think it's neat. But, having been a young'un like you, I know what "spotlight" you're talking about... however, grow up a little and put yourself in her shoes. It's not as horrible as you think.

well noelle I guess your question was answered, you have different viewsby differen people and ages and stages of their lives.. 20 is a wonderful age to have a baby.. I was20 with my first. 21 with my sec 24 with my third, be careful they adicting. my ex was also 28 when we started.. same agedifference you ll find you grow up with your children, not dure about being a great role model at that age but deffinatly have more energy and and i your fortunate enough not to have to work as well youll be a wonderful mom.. I found i grew up with them,we made some mistakes but was honest about life with my children. We are all really close and great freinds . I can say anything to them an they to me. nothing suprises either of us.. 20 is deffinaly young but i get constant comliments on m apperance for haveing teenagers and at 37 It feels so good,,,,,good luck. as old as you think you are,, you will grow and mature like the rest of us...youll see youll be 38 one day and say hey im not so old.....;) jenn

Noelle, speaking as a 35 year old mother of 3 with one on the way, I sincerely hope you print off and save this posting and review it in 10 or 15 years. See then if you still think that 38 is old. Incidentally, I didn't have my first child until I was 30, although I have been with my husband since I was 23. Many women, like myself, have chosen to pursue higher education to achieve financial security before starting a family. Good luck to you.

Whats wrong with 38 she is still young now a days people have there kids in there 30's as you are much more stable in life with a home and income 20 is long gone I am 36 I had my fists at 21 and now i am way more ready for this one in so many ways in your 20s you still have growing to do and to enjoy life way to gop for your mom trust me you will all get close and end up enjoying this remember time are different now and we live so much longer not as before you had to have them young as you didnt live very old

Noelle,to me you sound very selfish.You wanted to think that your mother would be a grandmother,and fuss around your baby,instead she's having another.Instead of feeling so....I don't know,it hurts to even think you are feeling this way,you can be comparing things etc.38 is not too old at all to have a baby,whereas 20,could be considered by some to be a little young in todays society.Why did you say its ridiculous for your mum to pay for your baby?Yes,it is,but who told you that?It was'nt Marcie's comments,she was using teenagers in general saying they have kids and expect others to look after them.To you,I would say,grow up,you are having a baby,be mature about it,and as for thinking your mum is in a bad situation,or whatever else is going through your mind,get rid of it.Your mother is only 38 for heavens sake,be supportive,she is just an average age these days in having kids.

to noelle i had been trying for a baby for 6 mths and the month i concieved i found out that my 16 year old daughter was pregnant i was shocked and distraught about this i did not know i was pregnant at the time but had said i would stop trying ,but family friends told me why should i little did i know that it would be my month .I now have mixed feelings about it all i am standing by my daughter ,but i will now have to support 2 babies i feel like i cant be happy about it there is 3 weeks difference between our pregnancies i am 7 weeks she is 10 weeks .my feelings are the flip side of your coin ,what will people think ,will they think i deliberatly got pregnant because my daughter did,was i jealous of my daughteretc,only to strangers this is,i know i will come across negative att_tudes and yes it is worrying because what should have been a fantastic time for me is now depressing me i cant feel happy anymore.I have one thing to say to you think how your mom feels i love my daughter and would do anything for her aswell as my other children ,but should she stop fulfilling her wishes because of others,i dont think so.

by the way i am 36

sharron . congrats to you momma. I am glad to hear you are supporting your daughter . Is she ready to be a momma? my daughter is 16 also. but not s_xualy active yet. I am 37. so I can relate. you must have been horrified to find out she is preg.I would have done the same thing as you though. I hope noelle takes note because she and her daughter/son are going to be the same age as you and yours.. just flash ahead of reality.. so it will be like twins for you . i hope you make your daughter finish school.. so important.. mine has 1 more yr and shes going to collage... good luck to both of you.. your going to be a hot looking gramma.. at 36...:) behappy.. two babies means twice the joy.. Jen