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sharron . congrats to you momma. I am glad to hear you are supporting your daughter . Is she ready to be a momma? my daughter is 16 also. but not s_xualy active yet. I am 37. so I can relate. you must have been horrified to find out she is preg.I would have done the same thing as you though. I hope noelle takes note because she and her daughter/son are going to be the same age as you and yours.. just flash ahead of reality.. so it will be like twins for you . i hope you make your daughter finish school.. so important.. mine has 1 more yr and shes going to collage... good luck to both of you.. your going to be a hot looking gramma.. at 36...:) behappy.. two babies means twice the joy.. Jen

Noelle -- I wish I had my mother. She died when I was in college of b___st cancer. And my mother-in-law died of lymphoma. Now that I am pregnant with my first child, I again feel the double loss. You are so lucky to have such a young adventurous mom, even though you are annoyed with her right now. Even today, past arguments I had with my mom are trivial and I wish she were alive to meet her new grandchild.

Noelle, Like your mom, my daughter was born early on in my life when I was 19. It was very difficult caring for a child when the rest of my life was so unstable, although I tried hard to make the best of it. Many mistakes were made along the way though...and I have to forever live with them. Now, I am the same age as your mom, and as fate would have it, find myself in the unexpected position of wishing for the child who will unite my blended family (married two years to a man my age with two kids also) You might wonder why I would have a child so many years later ...and the only answer to be said here is that my greatest sadness as an adult has been my struggles in life that have left an indeliable impact on my daughter. Now at the age of 38 (38 is NOT old nor is it "menopause" age) there may finally be a second chance to do things right with a man who loves me and will love our child forever. I never had the fortune of having that experience with my first child and I basically raised her as a single mom while I put myself through college and medical school You are fortunate because you can share in this experience with your mom who probably wants to be right by your side through this journey. She will be a resource for you to utilize if you find yourself scared the first time your baby gets sick or injured. And lastly, if your mom is only 38, I cannot imagine she views herself quite as the "grandma" you expect her to be. I am surely not ready to call myself grandma! (not an issue thankfully) AND your baby will have a permanent playmate. The generation gap does not need to impact your child if you do not allow it to.

Noelle, Sorry its taken so long to respond but I've been out of town. I don't think pregnancy or child rearing is about having children in your 20's. I feel its about raising a healthy and happy individual. Granted I was more fertile in my 20's but at 39 my little fetus is large and healthy for his/her stage of development. When I was in my 20's I was more focused on my education and career, lived paycheck to paycheck and quite honestly lived to please myself. Its has only been the past several years that I've found myself having money to spare after every paycheck, own a nice home in a good neighborhood, and have the stability necessary to give my child all the advantages to be healthy and happy. With these respects, I really feel that its all about being in your 30's....Regarding your particular relationship, you'll have to be a mother to your child and an "aunt" to your new little sister/brother, but really this would the position you would take because of the age difference between you and your sib, not because of the age your mother gave birth.

What a wonderful post! Exactly the thoughts I was trying to express. ~Lena

Noelle: Don't be so selfish. I am 37 and pregnant with my second child. There is nothing wrong with that. You are luck to have your mom to share your pregnancy worries and pleasures with. You are going to be a mother too. It is time to grow up. Have you considered that maybe your mom's pregnancy was not planned? When you were born, your mom was very young and she could had decided not to keep you, but she did. Be there for her! Support your mother and don't be so selfish! Be happy for your new brother or sister as well. Your baby and hers will be very close in age and good friends too.

Thank you for your kind words. You are 39 and expecting?

Yes, I'm 39 and expecting my first.

My husband's best friend has a nephew that is a few months younger than him. They are now in their 30's and have been best friends their whole lives. I'm sure she didn't get pregnant to "steal your thunder". I'm guessing she wasn't trying to get pregnant if she has a daughter who is 20. At least I know I wouldn't. Once you start showing more you will get so much attention and first babies always get more attention so don't worry. Just don't let her try to hone in on your shower! That day should be for just you and your significant other. Best wishes!

Why can't you both be happy for each other and enjoy the pregnancies together? Frankly, you sound a bit selfish to think so badly of your mother. She STILL has life to live. Her own personal life didn't end when she had you. That said, I am also 38 and expecting. I have a son who will be 21 in a few days. This pregnancy was a big surprise for the hubby and I, and not something "I did" to get at my kids. You seem to imply your mother did this on purpose to get at you or spite you. Its time to grow up and realize you are both adults with lives to enjoy. I think it would be awesome to go through this with my mother if I were you.. what better best friend is there? Sounds like an opportunity to create lots of memories together and be closer. Yet you seem to be turning it into a bad and resentful situation.

I'm 42 and have a 16 year old son. My intention was not to have a child in college and one in diapers, but life can be unpredictable. Have you talked to your mom? Maybe she was just as shocked as you are and could use some support adjustiong to the fact that her life is going to be incredibly different. Instead of being able to give her grandchild back to his/her mother, she is going to have the 24/7 job of raising a child. This of course brings it's own joy and rewards, but maybe she is going through her own period of adjustment and a little support might be welcome.

noelle, sorry kiddo, you are out to lunch here! people should only have kids in their 20's????? pardon?? you are barely done being a teenager, i would argue that it is YOU, not your mom, who is the inappropriately aged pregnant woman!! When I was 20, I was in college!! I am 35 now, pregnant for the first time. Most of my friends had first-time babies around age 30. I'm not bagging on the south, all my mom's relatives are from Louisiana, but they get married absurdly young down there. Your comments are beyond ignorant. My best friend has her first baby at age 37. Get real girl and move out of the dark ages. Next you'll be saying girls should be having babies at 15!!

Watch Father of the Bride 2. And your mom is def. young enough to do it. Sorry.

She did watch that movie, she stated it in one of her posts. Anyway........ Noelle, I wonder how you are getting along now as you have not posted in a while. I cannot say I understand it from your point of view as I am 34 and expecting. Maybe you should look at it a different way....I actually think it's really cool that you are both pregnant. It's an unusual circ_mstance that I think could just be so much fun. And her being a new mommy again certainly doesn't take away from her being a grandmother.

I have to say, I am so shocked at your selfishness! Your mother being pregnant at 38, without even trying, is quite the Miracle! 38 is NOT an easy age to get pregnant at! Grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. Your mother is able to make decisions without your permission. Would you rather she abort your sibling so you can have the limelight?? You should be ashamed of yourself. Ever consider that she may need some support as well? Selfish child.

sorry Noelle this was the wrong forum to get sympathy from.. its all about prego women over 35.. silly girl..lol.. good luck with your issues and hopefully your daughter wont feel the same way when/if you get preg again at a later age... I can see both views because i started at 20 had three by 24 starting again at 37.. my daughter is happy for me.. I am sure you feel like youve been tongue lashed enough so i wont bother. Just think before you post in a 35 and over forum next time....lol