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sorry Noelle this was the wrong forum to get sympathy from.. its all about prego women over 35.. silly girl..lol.. good luck with your issues and hopefully your daughter wont feel the same way when/if you get preg again at a later age... I can see both views because i started at 20 had three by 24 starting again at 37.. my daughter is happy for me.. I am sure you feel like youve been tongue lashed enough so i wont bother. Just think before you post in a 35 and over forum next time....lol

I don't think it matters what forum she posts in, childish behavior is childish behavior regardless of age. Maybe try the teen board.. many of them are immature enough to sympathise.

I can sympathize to a point with you Noelle. It can be a shock at first. Now before everyone else gets mad at me....I do agree on being upset about it--just that is it a little creepy. Now I am speaking from experience myself. I have been in her shoes when I was 17 and pregnant and my mom came up pregnant 2 months later!! It WAS creepy for me. I did not get mad, but it was too weird for a while. You'd have to be there to maybe understand. So my son has an aunt that is 3 months younger than him and his friends think that is creepy. And now here's the turnaround, for my story that is....My firstborn son is now 19....and he was creeped out bigtime when I found out I was pg with my now 2.5 yr old son...and he is really really creeped out and mad now that I am pg with twins. I can relate a little, but I am hurt that he is so upset by it. He thinks it is not right and that I should abort?? :-( So at this point, until he is more mature and understanding, we are not even speaking to one another. He, of course, is not living at home. I also have a 18 yr old daughter, who although she is thrilled about a new baby...got upset and voiced that SHE is the one who is supposed to be having babies now -- not me. :-( Again, I am disappointed. But being the older and wiser one here....I know they will adjust and get over their "family stereotype" issues. Their friends have a lot of influence about this also...they seemed ok about me having bbbies until their peers started with the comments. Then the tide seemed to turn against me and my age. I am, by the way, 37 and will be newly 38 when the babies arrive in the spring. I am not at all feeling old. And I too, have a younger husband who wants to start a family, so I don't see any issues on my part to go ahead and comply. But it is hard on the teens and young adults, they seem to have the mindset that we have "done our part" and should just be happy to wait for menopause and retirement homes! LOL LOL When they get older they too will see that 40 is not old. I, myself, was and are happy to fill the empty nest again! I loved being an active mom...and a 20 yr old child does not fill that need for me. They don't need parents to make their day. And I don't think a grandchild would fill that void either, for me anyways. I like 24/7 around the clock "mom work". I am still too young for the 'ol rockin' chair. Be happy for yourself. Be happy your mom gets to have the same blessing. You will have so much to share and in common...you will see. It will be cool.

Kathy you just baby making machine.. hope everything goes well for and those twins are healthy, your kids will understand, dont worry, Ihtink thats great, you be strong and just think youll never have time to get old...hugs to you and your loved ones..:) Jen

Maybe after the initial shock is over the two of you can bond even more. You will be going through it together. Maybe it will be easier because you can sympathsize with one another eat funny food together and when you both have babies together, you will find an honest true friend in your mom, and she in you. Each new baby has it's very own spotlight and you both will shine. Imagine how fun it will be when the babies can play together and they too can delight in their own special bond of knowing eachother from birth. I wish you much luck and try to enjoy the pregnancies.:)

oh, grow up! Your mother is a vibrant woman. If SHE chooses to have a baby now, that is HER decision. It honestly has NOTHING to do with you

Noelle~ I can completely understand you not wanting to be pregnant at the same time as your Mom...that would feel weird. However women have babies in their 30's and 40's these days. Long ago that was unheard of I know...but times have drastically changed. I am 36 and have suffered 3 m/c's and 1 chemical pregnancy in just over a years time. I wish I could have started earlier in life but I didn't meet my now husband until I was 32...married at 34 and been trying for over a year. So every situation is different. It would be weird to have my Mom pregnant at the same time as me...but honestly is there anything you can do about it? My suggestion is just be as gracious as you can since she is carrying your brother or sister. God always has a plan....even when we don't understand it, we must accept it. God is never wrong. Good luck and God bless!

I'm 37 and pregnant.... I say Grow UP and be happy for your mom. Right now, I see you as being totally selfish!

Noelle, I think you should be happy for your mother. It's her life, not yours. It doesn't detract from you child in anyway. Instead of wasting your energy on being angry, perhaps you could enjoy sharing your situation with your mother. Besides, you have decided she did this on purpose. Perhaps it was unintended. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

I'm almost 30, but I still feel too young sometimes to be pregnant. Really, you can argue that a 12-year-old having periods is too young & that a 52-year-old having periods is too old, but who's more mature, more experienced, more ready, more stable (in the various ways there are to be stable)? I could say that my opinion is that 20 is too young. But I'm only mentioning it to have you realize that such judgments are nosy & ignorant. I don't know your ability of being a mother at age 20 any better than you seem to know your mom's ability to be a mom at age 38. She's probably not doing it to steal your "spotlight" either. Pregnancy certainly gives us a different kind of attention from people, but it's not glamorous... and having a baby is the biggest reality we'll ever be hit upside the head with.

It's been a while since this question was initially posted, and I see that Noelle has long quit responding. I do hope that if you are still checking, Noelle, you will save your letter and the repsonses so you can revisit them when you turn 38. Judging by your lack of response, you must feel that we are being a bit harsh with you. But trust me, when you look back, you yourself will be appalled. You say things like "she's stealing the spotlight" "I thought only women in their 20's were supposed to get pregnant", "I thought she already went through menopause." Let me tell you, when you are 38 you'll still feel like you do at 20 (if you take care of yourself that is). You'll be no where near menopause, and you certainly won't feel granny-like. This will probably really freak you out, but I'm 41 and ttc. How 'bout that? I'm not about to go through menopause, and I'm sure I look as good as anyone in their 20's. You should take a look at all the posts of the women who are 40 and over having babies. That'll either broaden your thinking or really mess with your mind. I hope by now you are seeing things differently. I know she's your mom, but she's a normal, healthy, fertile, women above all. Best wishes to you and your blessed mom. Congratulations

Noelle, you may actually be able to help me understand my step-daughter a little better. She too is 20 yo. I am close to your mom's age (36 yo). When my husband tried to talk to her about our expecting a baby girl, her reaction was to refuse speaking to him. We expected her to get upset, but not to cut him off completely (since they were close up til this point). If you hadn't been pregnant at the same time as your mother, do you think you would feel differently? Would you still be angry with her simple because of the age difference between you and your soon to be sibling?

I've had a few chuckles with some of the posts here, mostly having to do with the "over the hill" inferences towards a 38-year old woman. I feel like such a dinosaur (lol). I'm 47 and expecting my fifth child with my second husband (this is my sixth pregnancy; I have four children from my first marriage...all of them are grown or nearly so, and I had a miscarriage during one of my earlier pregnancies). It may seem a bit weird, Noelle, that your mother is pregnant at the same time you are...but, I think it's a good weird. The Lord allowed it to happen for a reason, and I'm sure you've heard that everything happens for a reason. I like the posts that said this experience could bring the two of you closer together - and it can, if you let it. I don't think for a minute your mother would want to "steal your spotlight", nor should you do it with her. I don't see why it can't be shared, though. She's your mother and you're her daughter; nothing will ever change that. When you're a parent, you'll understand how much she loves you and wouldn't ever want to hurt you. Also, being a parent will mature you. I do agree that you should reflect on these posts when you're her age and see how much your perspective will have changed (and it WILL). Anyway, your child and its aunt or uncle will probably get along great, especially since they'll be so close in age. There's so much information your mother will be able to share with you, too, as this isn't going to be her first child. Don't fall into the trap of pigeonholing your mother and thinking of her in a really limited way. She's got earlier child-rearing experiences, and will have more to add to her information bank with this child, too. Though you may not see it so now, you've actually been quite blessed. Besides, for all you know, you could end up pregnant at 38, or even at an older age, and you'll be able to remember how well your mom did during her pregnancy. It could prove rather inspirational. Broaden your outlook, and share the experience with your mother. I guarantee it'll come back to you, and you'll be thankful you treated her kindly.

Noelle, I realize that this post is a couple of months old but, if you are still out there I wanted to say this......I am 32 and I am expecting my 3rd child. I had my first two days before my 21st b-day.....I can honestly say that the things I do and know now are worlds away from the time of my first child........I am sooooo much better at parenting now. With that said, 38 is not too old to have a baby, not at all.....BUT! I would be creeped out too if my Mother was pregnant the same time as me.............I can understand both sides of the coin......Try to grin and bear it, pregnancy is only 9 months and then you two will be so busy with your newborns you won't have time to think about it!.....Good Luck!

She'll be there to help you.

ah, the folly of youth. when i was 20, i thought that 25 was ancient. 30 was nearly geriatric and my god, 40 was almost dead. and of course anyone having s_x at these older ages? eeek! im 36 and you know, we are all dumb a__ses to some degree when we are young. the glitch is that we *feel* modern, new generation *right* and think along linier lines that newer [meaning younger] is better, knows more, is up to date, is right..etc. noelle, maybe your mama is one of of those weirdo mental moms that ar out to outshine, out strip, out school their kids. there are women out there who compete with their kids that way, just as their are dads who get a fast car, a young girlfrind, a hair transplant as their sons go to frshman year in college. it can seem compet_tive, but just focus on your own deal and preg is no fun ride for most, in fact, with your mom being older it might be really hard for her. cut her a little slack and hope that yours goes smoothly because you are younger.