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COL...so sorry for your loss. Miscarriages are incredibly painful. Please try to hang on. The pain will never go away but it will eventually fade with time. I also had a missed mc, it was the worst thing in my life ever...2.5 years later, the best thing in my life came to me. nearly 9 years after my mc, I am blessed with another due in a few weeks. Please hang on...it is a tough rough time but there will be sunshine again. Allow yourself time to grieve, take as much time as neccesary but please do not lose hope.

Dearest Col - I'm so glad you've got in touch. We were all so worried about you. There are really no words that can ease the pain of this time in your life but what I want you to know is that the feelings you're having are exactly what I felt. I'm sure they're normal - especially the feeling of failure. BUT IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! I know it's easy to say that and, no matter how many times you read or hear it, you will still blame yourself but try to remember that this was nature's way and nothing you could have done (or not done) would have prevented it. I'm so sorry that your family were not supportive but keep in mind that your husband is with you and needs you too and so for that reason I'm sure you'll soon find the strength to move forward. Keep talking to him about your feelings and don't bottle it up. Keep talking to us and we'll try our best to make things easier for you. As christa says - you must allow yourself time to grieve and I know exactly how you feel but you will feel better with time. Allow yourself as much time as you need. You are very much in my thoughts and I hope you will keep in touch when you are ready again. I found the ladies on the November Mommies thread (where I was originally posting when I had my missed miscarriage this April) were so supportive and once I felt strong enough I began reading their thread again to check in on them - I found this really helped me to heal. Stay strong - Hopeful.

christa0120, thank you so much for the kind words, and congratulations for your pregnancy. I am 42 years old, this was my first. I really wish I have the luxury of time. I don’t think I have time to wait. I waited 20 years for this one. I wish I have another 20 years to wait. I am sure there is a reason behind this. Only time can tell what was the reason. Thanks again.

Oh hopeful, you will never believe how many times I read your thread, the one you posted the in May 20, 2006. I think I read it a thousand times, trying to help myself. Its funny when I read my comments to you in that thread. I meant every word in there, and I was convinced that you will be back with your BFP, and April will be your month. I wish I can believe in me the way I believed in you.

Dearest Col - give yourself time and you will believe again. I have every faith in you.

Col.... I have tears rolling down my cheeks for you, my heart and prayers go out to you. I am a believer, and my prayer is that you receive comfort and peace and healing. I feel so horrible for your loss and for your pain. I have never experienced this before and am at a loss of words other than I am truly praying to God for comfort and healing of your soul. Please hang on to knowing you are not alone, God's promise is that He is with you and we are here in full support with love on this board. XOXO

Dear Col, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your missed miscarriage. I feel your pain and I know too well how this feels. I will pray for strength for you as you will need this in the coming days. Just remember as Hopeful said this is not your fault. The only positive thing I can think to say right now is that indeed you were able to get pregnant..it just wasn't the right time for your little bean (bless their heart) I feel terrible for you and your family..I know you were trying to conceive for a while and finally did. I wish you all the best in your healing process..I can tell you that I fell pregnant 2 cycles post D&C and my baby girl was 14 weeks at the time and the heart stopped beating at 12 weeks. I will never get over this...ever! I am fortunate to be only 3 weeks from my delivery..and I thank God everyday for this chance again at having a child..my first. I hope you to will try for this chance again. You are in my prayers. Kristin :(((

Dear COL, I have had 4 miscarriages the most recent last week at 10 weeks. had seen and heard the heartbeat at 8.5 weeks which I had seen and heard on the last three. I am 37 and all have been chromosonal abnormalities (aging eggs basically) I want to say I am sorry for your loss but sometimes you just get soooo sick of people saying that....right?? the anger insie builds up and you just wanna punch someone, I know I have been there time and bloody time again. Every word you have said above has been exactly how I have felt over the past few years. It consumes your everything, every thought, every feeling, every child you see or hear...like a d__n torture. But having said that time is a great healer, it really is. I refuse to give up the fight...if it means adoption, egg donation or whatever the hell is out there I am going to pile these options into my head until something comes true. With these thoughts I do not feel so alone, or empty. It is difficult for you being 42 but ye know things are possible..anything is possible. Dtay srong, don't give up hope, give yourself options and remain hopefull!

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I have recently started posting on the May June thread and I was so touched by the way all the ladies on there were and are so concerned about you. I hope that gives you some comfort now. I have had 3 miscarriages, the last being in February. I was 42 at the time. The good news is that I am 43 now and 11 weeks pregnant. I have seen the hearbeat twice and knock on wood everything is going okay so far. Please don't give up hope. For some reason I had a miscarriage each and every time before I had a healthy pregnancy, so there is hope. Good luck to you and please don't give up.

Dearest COL ... I'm so glad you have come back to us, I was checking in everyday for your post. My heart aches for you and no words can express how much I feel your loss that we all know so well. Don't try to stop those tears from flowing cos at this moment they're not going to and don't try to stop those feelings of emptiness, the heart aches and pain, helpless and hopeless cos they'll never go away till you're ready to put them away in your memory. I recall some months back, your words fo comfort to me .... "Sann, you were pregnant before and there are no reasons why you can't get pregnant again" Yes!!! 20 years is a long but you've hung on all these years for it to happen and it did ... no doubts for you now. It will happen for you again in no time. I have faith in you, like you had faith in me before. Take care of yourself physically (allow your body to heal first) and God will take care of the rest for you. I'm glad to hear you have your husband as your pillar of support and you as his too. Well ... don't worry about posting on our old thread, it really doesn't matter at all which thread you're posting on, so long as you come talk to us, just remember we'll all be here for you so don't disappear on us. Stay strong and have faith. Big hugs and talk to you soon.

Dear Col: I just want to say sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in April of 2003 and it was the most devastating thing for me BUT I will let you know that 7 months later (and several tests later) I got pregnant with my dd who is 2 now and I am 37 weeks pregnant now. Believe me, whenever April 25 comes along I still feel pain and sorrow for that little baby I lost BUT am thankful for what I have now. It will happen for you, keep the faith.

COL...sorry to hear about your loss. I know how difficult it is to lose something so precious and so loved. Don't blame yourself though. You need to stay strong willed and determined to get it right the next time. I too am going through the most difficult time in my life right now, and I would never wish on anyone. I understand your feelings about being a failure, but just remember that none of us has control over any m/c's, abnormalities, and especially over the tears that fall from our saddened eyes. Take the time to grieve and never feel that it's your fault that this has happened. What I'm going through affects 1/40,000 women and all I can think about is "why is this happening to me?" Especially at a sudden 35 weeks, you'd think that loss couldn't happen to you, but it can.

Col, I have been thinking about you and wishing you strength during these difficult days. I know that you have to work through the pain and grief in your own time, but please know that we are here for support when you need us. big hugs... Val

Hello ladies, I am so touched by all the kind words and the support you are giving me in here. I am in shock of how can people you never met and all what they know about you is a nick name, can be of a great help in the healing process that you might go through. Reading your posts more than one time, got me to think, if all human being would think and behave like we do behind the screens, there would be no wars no conflicts and no greed that leaves half of the world population hungry. Our support for each other is based on us being human beings, no barriers of color, race or ideology, which means, that as human beings, we can live together in harmony if we were left alone. Oh god, I think I became a philosopher after my last experience. Anyway, I am back, ready for the next step. I will never forget my loss, but at the same time I have faith. All the times when I was pregnant, I was prying to GOD that this baby to be healthy. I think God listened to my prayers, this baby was not healthy that’s why it did not continue. I am always thankful, and always will be. Now more than ever I know that I have the greatest husband of all, he was with me all the way, and still, he was worried about me, and forgot about his loss. I am so thankful for that. Still, I hope this never happen to anybody. Miscarriage is not only about loosing a baby; it’s about a shattered dream that you have as a woman since the day you born, that what makes it hard. Thank you all again, and God bless you.

COL, I think your words are exactly what all of us feel and think. I would love to have the same support from my friends whom I love dearly like I do from all of you and we dod not even know one another like you said. But.......we have the greatest thing in common and that is our loss or losses, this makes us different. I think we should all commend our husbands for their support, it as to be really difficult for them. My poor hubby was broken hearted at this last loss, but he was soooo upset for me, he kept telling me how sorry he was for putting me through this..God love him he is worried about me. I feel bad for him because I wish I could give him 4 kids which he would love. he gets so mad when I say this his belief is that God will take care of us and has a plan for us. I come onto this site about 10 times a day to check posts, I swear it has helped me so much this time around..I really feel a connection and can get alot of stuff off my chest, also I have learned so much which is great. I hope we can all keep in contact no matter what. Thanks Ladies you have been life savers.

Col, How is your healing process going? I hope you are ok. I hope when you are well enough that you try again. God Bless your little bean.