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If you are really interested in adoption, I see that you mentioned that some friends and family members had infertility issues. Maybe you could arrange for one of them to adopt your child, that way both of you can benefit. Also you mentioned your youngest is 5 and even at that age then can notice that your stomach will be getting bigger, so your going to have to have a through talk with all your children if you decide to give this one up for adoption. I wish you the best of luck.

How far along are you?

While you've become used to the family you currently have, life has strange twists and turns. Being able to flex with the changes is a good thing, but sometimes we resist, especially when we've become very comfortable with our routine/situation. I wouldn't recommend giving up your child for adoption. I think you would regret it. Right now, you're not excited about being pregnant, but that feeling will probably pa__s...either later on in your pregnancy, or afterward. Also, how does your husband feel about being a father again?

I think you should give it time, the excitement will grow on you, give it time for the shock to wear off. God doesn't make mistakes, this child is a gift you have been given for a reason.

This post has been on my mind a bit. Hopefully I can say my piece without sounding all confused. Adoption is a difficult thing for anyone to consider I think...It's something I could never do....and yet I have had to terminate a pregnancy before so I am all convoluted!! As your post mentions, adoption is typically seen in cases where mom or mom and dad are very young and unable to care for the child. I think....if your situation applied to me...I would opt to keep the baby. Why? I think I try to imagine what the child might feel later on down the line when they found out they had been given up by a stable family with the financial means to care for them. I can imagine that if I were that child...this revelation would CRUSH me. I'd ask myself...why did my mom and dad see fit to keep my three siblings only to give ME away? Even though they could easily have taken care of me??? For this reason, in your situation..if it were me, I'd keep the baby. I do know several adoptees,some of whom are well-adjusted, and some of whom are not. I would also talk with other parents who had a similar situation happen to them and use them as a support system. You face a hard decision, but I do think you may surprise yourself by finding the room in your heart to admit just one more:) Good luck

Hey clueless1...just wondering what you decided to do? I don't think I could give you advice because it is really a question only you and your husband can answer! I think it is amazing of you to give the baby up for adoption instead of terminating as many would do. And as the sister of an adopted child, I thank god every day for people who give the gift of adoption! I did want to say to MNMOM that I completely disagree that god wants every person who becomes pregnant to keep their child. Some are given the gift of a child only to give it to someone else! Also, I find that whole theory hard to swallow as a teacher in an urban district where 14 and 15 year olds are having babies every day! If god was personally selecting women who SHOULD have babies, I think he'd probably make better choices! Clueless1 should do what is right for her and her family and not worry about disappointing god!

cdpace88: my point was that CHILDREN are not mistakes. They don't have a choice of if they want to be conceived or not, they are innocent and they are a gift you can keep or give as in adoption. No, I don't think 14 and 15 year girls should be getting pg and having babies.

I agree with that. I was just saying that clueless1 shouldn't feel as if she doesn't have an option just because she is pregnant. Sometimes, as in my family's case, god sends a baby through somebody else that is meant for your family and that if she really feels that she can't handle another one, it is probably meant for her baby to be with another family.

I can understand how you feel. I am 41 and have 4kids with the youngest off to school next year. I had my life planned out. I am pregnant with no. 5 due in about 4wks and still have days where I don't know if I am ready for another child, but every time I feel a kick I know that I could never give this child up. I am adopted and I have fantastic parents but the thought of not being wanted still goes thru my mind sometimes. While it means your life goes on hold again remember that your child will know that they were loved and wanted if you decide to keep the baby. My kids are really excited about the baby and I don't think they would ever understand if I were to adopt it out. Although everything may seem negative I now cannot wait to meet my little one and believe that this is a gift that I have been given. It has taken most of my prgnancy to reach this verdict and I hope that you will too.

Hi clueless. I, too, was in the same boat just a few months ago. I will be 39 when "surprise" number three is due. We waited until we were older to have our kids, but always looked forward to the fact that I we will be diaper free by 40! Well, not now. I am always adding the years in my head. How hold will I be when the last has graduated form college? Will I be well enough to care for my grandchilren should my kids wait until their mid thirties to have kids? I guess my point is that I am finally getting excited about this baby. I keep remindng myself, although seemingly endless, the first year goes by SO FAST and soon enough this baby will be a functioning, laughing member of our family- diapers and all! I hope you find peace in whatever your decision.

hey clueless just wondering how its going? i hope things are a little clearer for you at this point.... bes wishes

This question's been sitting in my mind since I read this post yesterday. Say, you love each one of your kids - Jake, Sammy and Caroline. Jake has his father's eyes and nose and you will slave a secong job to pay for his beloved hockey practice. Sammy is the kindest soul that jumps to help you when the other kids could care less. He's got your red hair. Caroline may be younger but she outsmarts her brothers in brain games. She's got your graceful body. You will slave a third job to pay for her gymnastics. ******* This fourth child will have some of his/her mother/father features, too, he/she will have her special talents, she will be a sister to Jake, Sammy, and Caroline. She is as unique child. Yet these three are mine and good, and I will do everything in my power to help them through life, I will give them my organs if needed, I will die for them. And this one is mine, too, but I will not see him through life, I will not give him my organs, I will not die for him. How in the world....? I can't get it, it does not fit in my brain.

I understand that everyone has theri own circ_mstances, and must live with choices they make along the way in life. But as someone who has a DD then has suffered secondary infertility and is now carrying a baby at almost 19 weeks, I COMPLETELY agree with IN THE WOODS. There is NOTHING in this world, no convenience, amount of time, goal/desire of my own, or bodily part I would not give up for my children. Not only that, but if I chose to give up this baby I would NEVER be able to come up with the words to explain to my 7 yo why I gave him to someone else. "It just didn't fit into our lives' plan" deosn't seem to cut it. I wish you a temendous amount of luck. You're going to need all you can get.