Krissy2006 Please Respond I Need Your Help
5 Replies
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Hey Krissy, I am hoping that you remember me from the SOP forum. I think that Missy told you that we were expecting around the 1st of Oct. Well, about 2 weeks ago, I started spotting. We had an u/s which showed a heartbeat but showed the due date a little later than what we thought which concerned me. This past weekend, I started spotting again. Went for another u/s yesterday, saw no heartbeat. The baby had passed about 1 1/2 -2 weeks ago. We had a d&c yesterday. I know you just recently went through the same thing, and I thought I could really use talking to you about it. I am completely devastated and don't know quite how to deal with this. The emptiness is beyond anything I have ever felt before. Anything that you can offer would be really appreciated. ~ Brandy
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((((((HUGS)))))) oh Brandy, I am sooooooooo sorry hun!!! There are no words I can say that will truly comfort you and you are right, the emptiness and grief can become so overwhelming! I am so sorry this had to happen to you. I would never wish this kind of suffering on even my worst enemy, I don't know what your feelings are on trying again right away or what your doctor has suggested. For me I was ready to try the next cycle, if for nothing else to try and help me through the despair of my loss. My doctor said as long as I wait for that first period after the d&c I was free to try again and I DID conceive on the next cycle. Right after a D&C you are more fertile because your endometrial lining is fresh and brand spankin' new. Do you have yahoo messenger?? We can always chat on there if you like. My sn is kristen_portillo(at)yahoo.com Otherwise I will be glad to talk with you whenever you need through this really rough time. And remember to cry! Don't hold it in and don't let others tell you any different. You need to get it out. I wish I could give you a real hug and a shoulder to cry on. But I will do my best through this stupid internet stuff. LOL.... (((MORE BIG FAT BEAR HUGS))))
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I don't have yahoo messanger, but my email is brandyhenderson01(at)yahoo.com. I have cried and cried all day. Yesterday I was in complete shock, today, the reality has set in. The worst part is that I am still having pregnancy symptoms. I guess not all the hormones are gone. Everyone just keeps telling us we can try again, that we already have one beautiful child, it was meant to be, etc. None of it is helping. I just really want my baby back. We haven't really had the discussion yet on when to try again. I know that women tend to be very fertile the 1st cycle, but I am so scared it will happen again.
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Brandy, I sent you an e-mail and I know how difficult it is to hear people say, it wasn't meant to be, and everything happens for a reason (even though that last one is what got me through everything) Depending on the reason for the m/c odds are for you that it will not happen again and that it was a chromosomal abnormality. My dr. told me that some eggs and some sperm just can't mesh. Its like trying to put two pieces of a puzzle together when they don't belong. And so the baby will grow to a certain point and then stop because something just didn't fit right. But DON'T YOU EVER let ANYONE tell you that it wasn't a baby, or that it doesn't matter or that you shouldn't be greiving so hard. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT to be torn to shreds, every right to feel sad and angry and robbed and every other emotion you are feeling because that WAS your baby and will always BE YOUR BABY. S/he is just in heaven now.... it sucks being an earth mama to an angel baby... but know that s/he is in a better place and will watch over all your future little one's as they grow in your belly and are born into this world. Unfortunately, while you mourn all I can do is be here for you to talk to and please feel free to talk. Please cry and get everything you need to off your shoulders. Don't hold it in and don't hold back. If it is far too personal (which I found it to be) e-mail me. Or if you want to talk I can give you my cell #. Whatever you want or feel comfy with.
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Krissy, I would really love to talk to you about it. It is nice to talk to someone who has gone through it. I know everyone is just trying to help, but everything you are saying is what I am feeling. I'll be around tomorrow, so if you don't mind to give me your number and the best time to call, that would be great. As long as you are ok with it. I am feeling really tired, but I will check my email in the morning and talk to you then. Thanks again for the support. ~ Brandy
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I will e-mail you my #! Go rest girl and even though it will be impossible, try not to think too hard. Don't try NOT to think about it, but don't let yourself go over it and over it. It will only stress you out more and make you more sad. Try and meditate on your breathing and let yourself drift. Most of all DO NOT beat yourself up about it. Love ya girl! Check your mail manana and my # will be there. XOXO ~Krissy
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