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It is simple I think. Everyone is their own person with their own set of opinions, values and beliefs. It is entirely their own choice if they do or if they don't and their is no one in this world that has any right or power to pa__s judgment, comment or try to change their mind. We are each individuals who walk our own paths and sometimes we walk the same path as others, and sometimes we don't. That is what makes us all so unique. Please don't try to make others change themselve's so that they will walk the same path as you - because in the end you will meet in the same place anyway. Happy pregnancies to everyone. :)

People can want a girl. People can want a boy. "POLUTE THIS POST ALL YOU WANT" is some way to start a thread about babies. HMMMMM Go look at the thread for miscarriages and see why it doesn't matter what s_x baby a woman has. Especially when she's worried about the baby's heartbeat continuing on throughout her pregnancy until she's handed a healthy bundle of joy. The really important part of a pregnancy should be that the woman has a safe, healthy pregnancy and that the baby ( boy OR girl ) is a healthy one. S_x really should not be important. I guess that comes through tears of an 'almost-grandma' Happy and healthy pregnancies ladies!!

My number one priority is and always has been a healthy happy baby. The fact that i want a girl in no way changes that and i don't see why you have to answer with i don't mind as long as it's healthy to prove that. There are people who genuinly don't mind but people who have a little hope towards blue or pink don't want any less of a healthy baby. if i have a boy i will still be overjoyed. I say that every woman wants a healthy baby, what gender they'd like to come out this time is just a bit of extra excitement.

saddenedexpectantgrandma i totally agree with your comment. the times when people start really wanting one s_x over another only goes to show their selfish side. its not wrong to have a preference but you see it time and time again with women who 'really want a boy' or 'really want a girl' and what becomes of most importance to them is whats between the baby's legs. at the end of the day its down to the person and their own personal selfishness.

"Should people have a desire for a certain gender?"...it's kind of like asking if people SHOULD feel any particular way at all about anything. There is no right or wrong to it really. We can't help how we TRULY feel about certain situations (for example, finding out we are having a boy or girl and having our heart set on another), we can only control how we react to that information--what att_tude to take on (positive or negative).

this thread is a train wreck in the making...lately i have noticed a lot of controversy on this site, and its a real bummer...people certainly are ent_tled to their opinions, its just too bad that a forum for concerns, joys, questions about pregnancy etc. has turned in to a forum full of debates. :(

Debates are a normal part of life, no big deal. They don't have to get out of control though. I believe its totally ok to have a desire for a boy/girl. BUT desire is totally different then being dissapointed, heartbroken, or not loving your baby as much because it isn't the s_x you wanted.

Yeah shopping is exactly right. I don't think anyone on this board that secretly hopes for one gender over another is saying that they will not love their child if they do not get what they had originally hoped for. For most women there is a certain reason why they would prefer one over the other, maybe sentimental reason or whatnot. Also not to in anyway offend anyone that has suffered a loss, miscarriage or death of a baby, but just because you have not lost a child does not mean that you don't appreciate and love your child more than anything. And also women that have not experienced a loss still experience the constant worrying and anxiety. So just because a woman has a hope for a certain gender does not mean that she will treat that child any differently or with any less love than if it were the gender that she had originally hoped for. And I think you should all know that treshala made this post just to prove that there is a lot of bs and judgemental people on this forum. I beleive the purpose of it was to bring out the drama.

Hey Gabby, your right too. I'm sure there are some women who will treat their child differently, love it less, etc if they don't get the s_x they want. Not saying anyone on this forum is that way, but just saying those types of selfish people do exsit in this world. Your also absolutely right about how women who have experienced a loss are not the only ones who love their baby more than anything, just want a healthy baby etc. I was that way before my daughter died so I 100% agree. ALTHOUGH, a woman who has experienced a loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, is PROBABLY less navie, takes less for granted during her pregnancy, and is probably filled with more anxiety. Not to take anything away from the woman who have had all normal pregnancies, just saying what I believe.

Hi Ladies, I hope this doesn't make anyone mad or offend anyone, but honestly, I think that how you were treated by older adults of either gender when you were a child can sometimes effect which one you want. I actually had a horrible time coming to terms with having a boy because I had awful relationships with my father, and had never been close to any man really, so I didn't want to have the same relationship with a son. I was depressed for days because I thought that my son wouldn't love me, and that somehow I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with him because of my past experiences. I've really gotten past that though, and now am excited about having a boy. I just had to realize that my relationship with a son would be nothing like any other relationship I'd ever had with any other man.

i agree with shoppingfortwo. i would say that there are definately some couples who treat their child differently and are disappointed by not getting the gender they 'want/desire', particularly more so with the asian race. there are several religions that frown upon a woman bearing a daughter, and this makes it incredibly difficult for her to try and bring her daughter up without having this element of disappointment. so where some couples have this 'desire' they certainly show their disappointment when they do not get the gender they wanted all along. i have noticed it with a few women on this board who have shown how disappointed they are at having another girl/boy in comparison to other women who said they really want a boy/girl and found out they are having what they want. i understand that people have a desire and i personally think that in most cases ive seen/read about its been for purely seflish reasons i.e. 'i really don't want another boy' - the emphasis suddenly reverts away from having a healthy baby to what the mother desires. evidently though there are some mothers who have a desire not for a selfish reason or an 'idealistic' reason, but because of their upbringing and their own worries about bringing up a particular gender. each to their own at the end of the day, the only time it saddens me a bit is when you get these women that are so over the top about the baby's s_x that it kind of diverts you away from the fact that every baby is a little miracle and it doesn't matter what's between their legs.

Oh yah Cat, I know it used to (maybe still is) a big deal in China because they were/are only allowed to have one child. They want boys to carry on the fathers name/legacy and to have a girl is a disater. I heard horrible stories about them killing it if its a girl and blah blah blah. They aren't like that if they live in the US though because there isn't a limit on how many kids you can have. Just last month I watched that show, Special Delivery on the Dhealth channel and it was featuring a Chinese couple and the man keep going on and on about how he was so blessed to be in the US because this was their 2nd baby and was so happy he was allowed to have another. Anyway, this really isn't about China. We are talking about the women in the US.

shoppingfortwo yeah ive heard the same thing. we even got taught about it at school (why i don't know). i do think though that overall baby girls are discriminated against as not really as 'special' as a baby boy. you get women from all kinds of races and religions feeling a 'failure' for not giving their partner a baby boy. even for non religious people though the fact that the baby boy carrys the family name on gives them a much wanted desire to have a baby boy over a baby girl. there was one case in the UK where a family bakery had been in the family generation for over 100 years, being pa__sed down to the eldest son, his son etc etc. only one day the owner only produced female offspring, so decided to sell the bakery since it couldnt possibly be pa__sed on to his daughter! i think although it might not be as prominent nowadays i think a lot of women still feel this pressure to bear a baby boy over a baby girl. if you ever ask people whether they would prefer to havee just baby boys or just baby girls, ive not come across one so far that has said baby girls! anyway thats from what ive seen.

The slogan in China is "One Family -- One Child", India also has a similar law, their's is "Two of us - two of them" (as in children). We were taught that in high school geography cla__s.