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hi phoenix, you have had a very long relationship with your husband, i am amazed that an unborn baby can cause such angst... i have read a bit on narcissitic men, think my ex was more the pa__sive aggressive type, subtle ways of causing friction... there are some good articles on pa men on the net... when they say ok when they really mean no, procrastinate, give vague answers, switch subjects, want a woman in their life but dont like to have to commit... yuk... it will be very hard for you to make a move after such a long time, but on the other hand if you have had to put up with 15 years of c___p you dont have to put up with another 15 years... my girlfriend told me when my ex said his 40 years have been c___ppy to tell him the next 40 dont have to be, but i think he likes being miserable. guess i will be glad i am not with him one day, but it is hard being pregnant, also went from being secure financially one day to nothing, literally an overnight decision on his part, whipped down on a plane from his holiday (with darling mommy) to come and pick up the car he had 'given' me and drive it back interstate... anyway having scan tomorrow so hopefully that will be good and will give me some cheer (12 week scan).

The baby hasnt caused it. My husband causes these rifts. Eventually, he comes back around. Problem is, I dont want him to. I am making plans to move out or move him out. But, I have to make sure that I do not lose the things that I worked for since we have been together. Some obstacles are in my way, but I am sure they are there for a reason. So, I will be patient and proactive, and continue planning and execution till my ducks get their b___ts straight!

gosh pheonix 13 years. is it just now that you are having trouble seeing the light between the two of you. is all hope in that regard lost. sounds like you think he might come around, but you are done? do you have girlfriends who are around to help you? i have to say my girlfriends have been saviors. how are the kids doing...are you one of those patient people who you can not tell there is choas going on. How are you feeling at 8 weeks?

Let me say once again, to anyone reading...NO I do not want to try w/husband. YES I am taking action to either move him or myself out. MONEY is the issue, which at this point is a waiting game for me. I am waiting for some things to cash out. I am very aware of my situation and I DO NOT believe he will change. I am NOT waiting for him to change, nor do I have any faith that he will. I do still love him but hell, whats love got to do with it. Time will heal my heart,mind and soul. I pray it does the same for him. I dont exactly hate him, (afraid if I do this, the baby may come out in his spitting image), but I have some strong feelings of dislike for the person that he has become or the person he chooses to be towards me. I try not to be vengeful, as I have done in the past. I know that if I let God take care of that part, he will for surely be SORRY. Though, sorry and apologetic will NEVER get me to let him in again. He is OUT of my heart . I am a Scorpio, and we are loyal and vengeful, so this is calling on me to use every restraint I can to stop myself from doing things to him that are hurtful. But, please, DO NOT think that I want this to work out. I want to work things out with him like I want a piano to fall on my head. Ok ? :*)

hey girl. pheonix dont't take offence, just trying to a__sest situation out of my own curiosity and interest. I have never been in a realtionship for that many years, but I do know that breaking point of no return. I hit that with my daughters father. he came back many many times, but it was too late every time. And at those times, boy did I need financial help. I was young and could bearly survive. But, I look at my daughter who is amazing, beautiful and smart. And think geez, maybe I didnt do such a bad job after all. Funnily enough I know all about scorpio's, just about every partner I have had has been one. (myself a taurus). I know you are right, about being patient and believing in God to provide you with the way. Pamper yourself. (I will lay off the questions, promise) I thought all night about the meeting I am suppose to have with current ex. I think it is a trap, and I need to avoid the abuse he has consistantly been showing. I do not believe that he want to learn to co-parent with me right now, I think he still believes he can change my mind. We have 28 weeks until baby comes, should wait a little longer until I see geniune behavior. Just so scarey to know that in the future I will not be able to ever work it out with him as a "couple". That is a hard reality to know I am single and going to parent two kids now. Still teetering (2%) of what the hell am I doing. I miss the love and affection. I have been having crazy vivid dreams everynight, about baby and dad. Dad is always far away or if around ignoring me. It's like I can not escape the abandoment. I remember the first time it gets easier, especially once you hold your little angel. That just seems so far away....

Lonna, please dont think that I was offended. I am not and I welcome your questions. I only wanted to make it very clear about my feelings toward my husband. I do not want to be mistaken for wanting to work things out. I dont even wish it were different. My only wish and desire is to be single and free so that I may find that new guy! Whoo, the fun part! I love dating. Variety....the spice of life!! But about meeting him, i would be very hesitant. I think it is too soon. Has he given you any other indications that he wants to have the baby? I would put him off awhile until you were more confident. You are quite vulnerable right now, and I am sure he knows this. And putting him off will get a reaction out of him, this reaction may indicate his real feelings. I hope you read this before the meeting. My first prenatal visit is today. I am a little afraid because I have had a few miscarriages with my last pregnancies. I do not want to stop living this dream of finally being able to have another baby. Its been 12-13 years since I have been pregnant. Good luck if you do go to the meeting and I hope his intentions are genuine and that he does not hurt you. I have to get ready for this appt. Ttyl

Ooops, I meant its been 12-13 years since I have carried a pregnancy to term. I have been pregnant in btwn that time that have resulted in miscarriage.

If you care to email me privately, my address is justbornonet@aol.com

Hey pheonix. Good luck today. I am sure everything will be okay...let me know how it goes. I know what you mean about seeing a new man. I remember my first pregnancy, with the father going out all the time and dating. I felt like a kid with her face pressed against the candy store window. After I had her it felt so good to be skinny again. I meet someone when she was 6 months and we dated 3 years.....I ended up leaving him. Later to regret and he is now married to someone else. But, I can not wait to fell that again. I guess that is a long ways away. You are right about putting off meeting ex, I am going to wait things out awhile. See what shakes down. Will email you later this afternoon, to see how things went. Lonna

Good news, had appt, had an u/s all looks well. Recommended reading: Supernatural Childbirth. It is a very powerful book, especially for single moms.