18 Single And Want To Get Pregnant

7 Replies
ashly - March 17

Ok.. so before anyone judges me I want to explain.. my entire life I have worked my ass off.. I raised my 10 year old brother before I was even old enough to raise myself.. When I was in high school I wanted was to go to college and help people.. (I want to be a social worker). Now it is just about the end of my freshman year in college and I feel like I want something more out of life... I dont believe that you need a guy to be in the childs life.. I want to be a mom now.. I want to raise a child and have purpose.. people tell me that I should volunteer or something like that and maybe then I wont feel that way.. but I know this is what I want.. .I know all the cons.. -I am 18 the child is being raised by a young person.. -Financially I am not rich but I have done the research and know it would be fine -I can still go to school.. and be able to raise this child.. -Stress, Sleep deprived... I know it all.. I know that I can do this.. more like I know that I want this.. Does wanting this make me a bad person? I would like advice.. I am not really sure what I want the advice to be about but after reading this I am sure you have something you want to say.. Thank You

 

Tyggs - March 17

Wow. I felt like you do. I waited until I was 21 to have my daughter though. I can't discourage you, cause let's face it, you're going to do what you want to anyway. However, I have to ask you, what can you offer this baby right now, that you won't be able to offer in maybe 5 years? I honestly believe you want a child with every fiber of your being. That's wonderful and having unlimited amounts of love to offer a child is great, but why not just wait a bit so you can offer it additional safety and security? People often think they can "do it all", but find obstacles they didn't expect. Life is difficult enough, so just think how much easier it will be if you hold off a few years. If you really want this, then you'll want it bad enough to lay the groundwork first and bring a baby into the best envirnment possible. I wish you luck in whatever decision you make.

 

MelissaP - March 17

If I were you I would wait, but it sounds like you have your mind made up. Just make sure the father isn't a complete a**hole and is willing to be there for the child. And make sure this is something you reaaly want to do. You can make it financially..but think of how much more you will have once you are done with college and have a great job. Do u really want to struggle at all now? Good luck on whatever you decide and make sure you have a good support system if you choose to go through with this. No one liked being pregnant and alone no matter how much you want a baby

 

oz - March 17

please dont do it alone. I know many people that were raised by single moms and single dads and they happy childhoods etc but i do feel a baby should have the right to a mum and a dad on a fulltime basis. I really think it is disgusting that some women go and get pregnant on purpose without the man knowing and then try and pretend it was an accident etc so if you are determined to have a baby go and find yourself a good guy and settledown before you take the leap into parenthood.

 

jg - March 17

It doesn't make you a bad person, but I personally feel that children are precious gifts that should be given the very best of everything in life. That includes a father.

 

ash2 - March 17

i realize your wants, and urges, but you really dont know about sllep deprivation, or stress, or raising a baby alone because you havent been there. everyone is right, that child deserves a father that wants it too , and more than ever, a happy family to go with it. i see too many children without moms and dads together that get cheated out of life b/c they dont get the nessecities that kids do that have loving families. you will have to work full time , which means puting the child in daycare , or family, an that is not fair to the baby. i know you really want this, but really , put your wants aside, and think about your future baby. you never know, one day you will meet a man that wants you and a family. be patient.

 

Zim - March 21

Ashly, No it doesn't make you a bad person. That said...I was 17 when I had my first daughter, 24 with my second (was married), I am now 32 and pregnant (and divorced). Single parenting is difficult under any circ_mstance, and I do not recommend it at age 18... No one can change you mind if your are truly set on being a mother. BUT! I advise you to wait. Get your degree first. Understand that if you get pregnant now, you are also playing with some guy's life. Most states will require you to name the guy so he can pay child support, and if the state finds out you're lying, you'll get to help pay them back or you will get no a__sistance at all. None! Please! For me and a whole slew of other women who became moms at a tender age. Wait. Be young. Have a life! Think of one really fabulous thing you'd like to do before you die (not including having kids)...and do it first! Parenting really is a lot more fun, simpler and better for your children (with the right guy of course) if you have a partner. Wait. Just a while...Please? Best wishes Ashly, Zim

 

momabeare - March 22

Take my advice: WAIT! I am 26 and 6 months pregnant and going through way to much to be a parent right now. But I don't have much of a choice.

 

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