19 Pregnant Happy But Alone WHY
4 Replies
|
|
|
|
|
|
My fiance and I were together for two years I found out that I was pregnant and we were scared but happy. He was always telling me that he cannot wait and that he loved the baby in my tummy more then life itself. He also said that he would never leave me and that he would tell me if he ever was thinking about it. He also said that he would always pay for the bills and help with the money..if he ever left me. Well I am four months pregnant, nice and fat, and last week he told me that he was going back to Colorado to make some money to better our family, of course this was following the night of a fight and I was scared that he was going to leave me..he reassured me that it would only be for 2 to 3 weeks and he would come back with alot of money. He left that night and that's when it started, he told me he would call me when he got to the bus stop, he didn't, I called him and he was really short and abrupt with me and said he would call me after he got his ticket, he didn't, I called him, again the same thing, and then he said he would call me when he got on the bus, he didn't, same thing! The next day he was not answering his phone and when he did he was rude and told me he was sleeping and that he would call me back.......blah, blah blah....it finally turned into him not answering the phone at all and not responding to my texts. In my texts I was not being rude I was just asking him things like do you love me and so on.....I finally was sick of it and left him a voicemail saying I was done being dragged around and that I will let him know what the gender of the baby is and so on. When I called him again a younger girl answered and was laughing and hung up when I asked for him. Then the next time a really old sounding woman answered and said she did not know who he was!!!! After he left I called the apartment complex where I live and he used to work and the manager said that he had done something pretty bad and she could not tell me! I got to thinking that if was leaving for only 2 to 3 weeks he would not have taken all of his belongings down to the PS2 and how could he better our family by quiting the job he has to go to an ungaurenteed thing? My question is how can I knock some sense into him and get him to want to be a part of his childs life? Also should I pursue child support? And can anybody think of why he would do this? Oh and My mom and dad have decided that I can live with them and my sisters (ages 2,5,8) until I can get my life on track again, He left me with nothing!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There's nothing you can do to knock some sense into him, so put that out of your head. Ya picked a dud, sorry to say. Stop contacting him ~ you're only pushing him further away. The best revenge is living well and being happy. As far as pursuing child support, absolutely you should. But don't expect anything else from him. He may come around, but you trying to track him down is not the way to bring that about. I'm glad you have parents that are willing to help ~ good luck to you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The question shouldn't be "why he would do this" it should be "what am I going to do now?". You need to prepare yourself and plan for this child as you as its soul provider. I am so happy to hear about the few other women out there with such supportive parents. Mine have been my rock. It's hard to see things how they really are when we don't want them to be that way. And it's hard not to feel so hurt when you can't understand why someone has treated you so bad. All I can say is treasure your pregnancy. Everything is happening with your bub now so focus your energy on that. Don't let this man get you down, instead let your bub put a smile on your face. Chin up girl
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How long has he been in Colorado for? I think that he intended for this to be his extended vacation away from you and baby stress. He needed time to reflect and to be alone, without making it obvious and break your heart. So when you pursued him, it frustrated him b/c he needs alone time. I think this is temporary. If you two were happy like you said, this might be a phase and you could go back. Or it could go the other way, you two could split. It looks like you have it covered if you split. If he stays gone, you should get child support. But I have a feeling it's just a little bit of cold feet, and if you let him be he will come back full throttle. You just have to reflect during this alone time, if this relationship would be worth saving once he comes back. Now that you have a child, and of course if you were originally happy together it might be worth saving. Me and dh have been through phases and hard times as well, but I believe in making it work if your happy. Just give the relationship space, and I guaratntee he will be calling and you will get your questions answered.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hun do not wait for him at all! you do everything you have to to better yourself and your child. Dont call him anymore. You better get child support. You know his last name his parents anything...? You can get him. Get the money you deserve. Dont feel bad because he wasnt feeling bad when you guys were making a baby. Everyone wants to have s_x but they dont want the consequenses. Be strong youll be fine. If he wants to be there he will. If he realy loved you he would be there and help you. Dont worry your not the first and your certainly not the last.
~alyssa
|
