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Try not be be so down on yourself, what you feel the baby feels too. I know it is hard and scary right now but the more upset you are the more cranky of a baby you will have. I have a two year old and I am 5 months pregnant and the father has basically walked out on all of us, because I don;t like it when he goes drinking after work till 4 am. So I know how scary it feels. Try to keep in touch with your friends and/or family they can offer alot of emotional support if they are good friends. I remeber with my first baby alot of my 'friends' quit talking to me because I chose to keep my baby and they wanted me to keep partying with them, it was like being pregnant was a disease. That really hurt but I learned who me friends really were. As for thinking about suicide, please don't think about the baby, who is depending on you for a loving and supprotive enviornment. Alos why let some man tear you down like that I am sure you are a beautiful person and you are young your body will return to its pre-baby shape within a few months after the baby and then you gain the status of being a beautiful young mother. I have had the same thoughts run through my head but I stop and think of everything I would miss out on, like watching my babies grow and helping them through their hard times. There is no love as intense as that which you will feel for your children once that baby arrives you will have a deeper understanding of the importance of life and love. My two year old can make me laugh and feel so full of joy and love no matter how down I get, she saves me everytime. Furthermore, you can still have your career. It might be on hold for a little so you can focus on your newborn but afterward you will do great in whatever you chose to do. Just keep your head up and know when ever he cuts you down he is only doing it to make himself feel better because he knows he is a worthless piece of poop and the only way he can feel better is to make you feel bad. I would put as much distance as you can between you and him for awhile so you can pull yourself back together. Keep in mind hormones go crazy during pregnancy and make things fell worse than they really are and you will be tired and nauseaous for the next couple of months but it will all pa__s and you will be rewarded with the best thing life has to offer, a new beautiful little baby. Take care

First, I don't see why you can't do the internship at Vogue this summer. I'm about the same amount pregnant as you are, and I figure on working through August and September. The only problem would be if you have to be on your feet all day, which could be an issue later durring that time. I think it will be good for you -- I'm finding that I feel better when I get out and work, and don't just sit around thinking about the baby all the time (though that's nice in its way). As for depression and suicidal thoughts, it's normal to be a bit moody and weepy in the first trimester. I realize that what you're going through is probably worse than that, but hormones are probably contributing, and if they aree a major factor it should start to improve in the next couple of weeks. I used to get depressed a lot more when I was your age (I'm 36 now) and what I finally figured out (it took me about 10 years -- ridiculous) was that when I'm getting enough sleep I feel much, much better. "Enough sleep" is probably 9 hours or maybe more for you now -- you need to sleep and rest a bit more because all these changes take energy (which can leave you emotionally drained, etc.) And drink plenty of water and eat sensibly and exercise! Those are the basics. This ex-boyfriend of yours sounds like such a drag. Do you have friends or family who might help? A brother? Don't rely on this ex for support of any kind. You can't make him grow up. And try to stay connected with your friends. Sorry, that was probably all way too much advice. Good luck with the internship, and talk to the university about starting in the winter/spring or taking some kind of modified, lighter load of coursework in the fall.

i think if somebody is makin you feel that bad then you shouldn't even involve yourself with him until you need somethin for that baby. you're gonna be bringing another life into the world so just try to think positive about it all. Do your internship, go into some other forums and try and find some people in your area that you can become close to that can support you. And most of all DO NOT think about suicide. Im very emotional too because my baby's father is bein real shady right now because he's scared but that wont solve anything. there are people that love you and a child who you are gonna fall in love with pretty soon. Keep your head up, and NEVER depend on man unless you mean somethin to him and he's gonna be there for you

This is so crazy!!!! If you go back a few months and read some of my posts i am in the EXACT same position as you. I am 19 and i am 23 weeks pregnant by a guy i was with for two years who abused me so i left. The only real peice of advice i can give you is this, I know its hard because you dont be alone but your baby can feel what you feel when your sad or depressed he/she knows same as when your happy dont let this guy get you down dont talk to him i know its hard BELIVE ME it was so hard i cried for a long time but in the end it boiled down to one day at a time. Everyday still to this day i wake up hes the first one on my mind (even though he did those things to me i still care because he is the father and we were together for two years) its just a process i think about the new girl he is with and it kills me. Day by day ill get the urge to pick up the ohone and call him but i resist its sooooo hard. Please be strong just dont call him YOu may have to rearrange things about your life but if your having thoughts of suicide you need to elimnate the things that cause that stress starting with the guy. Maybe later hell man up and be there but as far as you beign pregnant you dont need that! sorry ill talk all night if i dont stop if you ever need to talk feel free to contact me on MSN under the name -Luvly_bizznez87 I know how hard it can be but be strong!

you say you spend all day at home alone, but your not alone girl. You have a gorgeous little person growing inside of u. Let that put a smile on your face. Nobody wants to do this alone and he may smarten up. My ex may smarten up and want to be a family with me but I have found that I needed to except that he may not too and that may be for the best. Re-connect with your friends. Surround yourself with supportive people and be excited. The sickness will pa__s. Being pregnant is a wonderful blessing. Treasue it

Forget him there are other guys out there that will be there for you and your baby. He is just a jerk he sounds worthless and you are better off with out him. Don't do suicide your child needs you. Please don't give up on school. Don't let that guy ruin your life go to school. It will be important to you and your child.

I am also in the same situation. I am 19 and my boyfriend and I were also together for two years, I am four months pregnant, he went to the doctors visits with me and said he was excited. I have also been feeling really sick and have not been able to work so he was supporting me, then all of a sudden he moved back to colorado and said he was coming back and he was doing it to better our family. He has stopped answering my calls and now he hangs up on me. I have gotten to the point where I don't want him but I feel like the baby needs him and he needs to understand that. I am living with my mom, and the only thing that has helped me is to think about the life that I want for my baby. Instead of feeling sad that he has done this I instead feel excited to see my baby and raise it in a happy enviorment. Obviously this guy is not right for you and you cannot force him to want to be a part of your child's life. Just move on and start planning to bring a baby into a happy world and not one filled with anger towards it's dad. That is one feeling you never want to let on to your child. Just think positive and think how you can better your baby's life. Also stress has an impact on the baby to so try not to worry, go on walks, just stay busy and if you have to don't give yourself a moment to think for a while untill soon he won't matter. I hope I helped you! And good luck!

Not sure where you are located, but I am in Virginia, and I am here to help, I am a mom and have had alot happen to me with my kids, I am here if you need anything, I will gove you my phone number if you need someone to talk to or need anything at all, please let me know, you are not alone in this. ~~Meredith

dont worry to much about it my husband left me and im 19 and 24 weeks pregnant i know its hard but you got to hang in there not just for you but for the babies sake im not to far from my due date u know with only 16 weeks to go and my husband dont want nothing to do with me or my baby he calls hara__sing me and threatening us but if you got a guy like that it makes u realize that they didnt care or they wouldnt have left in the first place and would want to be there with no problems or being a jerk towards you afterall remember its not only your fault it takes two to make a child sincerely Desiree

im in the same situation im 19 and waas with my boyfriend 4 2 years, a few weeks before i found out i was pregnant my boyfriend was goin to leave me and we was arguin a lot. then i found out and he went funny. sumtimes hes all excited n making plans for the future, next hes sayin he doesnt want me, the baby might not be his and if it is hes goin to take it off me. i want to walk away but like u im scared of doin it alone. i just wish i had the strenght to tell him we dont need him coz the stress isnt doin any of us any good. he hasnt got a job and although he says hes looking, nothin has come up yet. he does nothin but sit on the internet or go out on the streets playing football and messing about. to be honest he is really chilidish. im just scared of bein alone 4ever. anyway keep postin and let me know how u get on

tashaleigha, you wont be alone for ever. I can a__sure you of that. Firstly you will have a gorgeous bub and secondly even if you walk away from this childish man, someone better will come along in good time, have faith. I guess you just need to ask yourself is the relationship worth saving and do you want one child or two? Your a lot stronger than you think you are and i hope that wjat ever you do it is the best decision for your unborn child. Goodluck