Pregnancy Info HOME

Sympathy! Some mess! I'm thinking that you were so mad at his infidelity that you divorced without getting a handsome settlement, if indeed there was one to be had. He is going to be reponsible for six children pretty soon - enough to fill a home daycare with no outside customers. It almost seems like one solution would be to adopt his second wife and form one big happy blended family, and in those parts of the world where plural marriages are accepted, this would not raise one eyebrow. The one positive I see is that he still cares enough about you to give you a couch to sleep on in your time of need. Evidently none of your critics has thought to step forward and offer accommodation. You are probably the most mature of the nine beings involved in this circle, and he is pretty confused about his own predicament. Is there a chance that you can take charge, sit everyone down and say "OK, this is a right mess, but we are going to pitch in together to make things work. Let's start working out the details." It's unusual, but it might just fly. Good luck!

Grandpa Viv: We have tried sitting down. I have put the past in the past and tried to not base anything on past actions but on what is going on today. Problem is if I stay around she uses her children as a threat. He has 2 other kids in Florida with their mom who plays similar games. So he is stuck. He doesn't want 2 more kids out there. Oh and the infidelity? That wasn't found out until the day before our divorce became final. He would never tell me why he wanted the divorce. No, I found that out later. He believes if he keeps us seperated forever that his life will be more peaceful. Meanwhile, she believes the two of them are still together and mutual friends are confused and asking questions. The problem with working things out is it takes all parties to want to reach a peaceful solution, and it takes everyone willing to compromise and let go of past resentments and anger.I have worked on doing that for a year - for my sake and my kids. I have pushed back when she demanded that my kids only see their dad per the court decree which wasn't much at all and never what He and I intended. When my kids - in their own words said their dad didn't want them anymore because he had her and the new baby - I fought back to keep him a part of their lives. When she stalked our family and he accused me of being crazy - only to catch her in the act...I kept my mouth shut. I am in his home because he wants to know where his kids are and lives in fear that I might pull the same stunts with our kids that the other 2 women he has kids with have pulled. Funny thing, I am the only one who hasn't and doesn't believe that my children are tools are weapons.

Incredible! This man should have been Bobbited years ago. He has single handedly messed up a dozen lives. One has to wonder what kind of insecure background he comes from, that he feels compelled to make so many people dependent on him. Do you think you might be co-dependent, which is what is keeping you around? In your own self interest, and that of your children, should you not be working out a long term plan for permanent separation?