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I am a 21 years old and 9 weeks pregnant. I had been dating a guy for 2 years whom I was faithful to the entire time. He was unfaithful several times including an affair that resulted in a pregnancy by his exgirlfriend. When I learned of the pregnancy and his unsupportive reaction to me, I went a little crazy. We broke up and I began dating my boss. While we were not exclusive I felt things were progressing smoothly and I was happy. I did sleep with a friend of mine whom I had been with before during this period as well. My friend past away tragically on Valentines Day and I found out I am pregnant on Feb. 15th. There is a possibility of paternity by either my previous boss or my friend that past. I told all parties involved (including my boyfriend of 2 years) the entire truth. My boss turned into an evil person and demanded I get an abortion. He tried every manipulation possible to try to get me to do so. When he realized I was not willing to do that, he is now saying it is not his child. I never expected this type of reaction from him. The probability of the child belonging to my dead friend is very slim, due to the fact we only slept together that one time and he did not "finish". I did not think I was able to have children, so precautionary methods were not taken, as I trusted these men as far as STD's goes. During this entire time of my boyfriend and my break, his behavoir completely changed and he was trying hard for months to win me back and finally was behaving the way I wish he had been all along. Upon learning the news my boyfriend proposed and said he wants to take care of me and my child as his own. His ex girlfriend is now 6 months pregnant. Feeling trapped initially, I agreed to his marriage proposal and met a few demands he had for me, including quitting my job and cutting off all contact with my boss. Over the last couple of weeks I have learned to love him again, but the truth is I don't know if I think he is fit to be this childs father. He has a 6 year old already and the new baby in 3 1/2-4 months(two different mothers). The boss has a 10 year old and a 2 month old (from two different mothers). My boyfriend is very stressful to me. Our relationship is a roller coaster most of the time. I know a child needs a father. I came from an absent father household and know firsthand of the the heartbreak that causes. And no one is perfect, but he does try very hard. Half of my insanity is coming from my hormones, and I need to know, should I be thanking my lucky stars that SOMEONE is willing to step up to the plate, or should I try to raise this child alone?
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 | jg - March 7 |
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Your child deserves the best father it can get. If you feel your BF is not up to the job, it is better for your child to have an absent father rather than an abusive "stressful" one.
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In my opinion... you should do what's going to make you happy. A rollercoaster-relationship doesn't sound very stable to me... and also wouldn't be a healthy environment to be raised in. I know you say that you were raised in an absent father household.. now think of it this way. Would you have rather had an absent father.... or be in a household where your parents are constantly fighting, and going back and forth on whether they want to be together or not. I don't think anyone would be happy in the second situation, but that's something you'd need to decide. Personally, I think it's better to raise a child on your own in hopes of finding him/her a great stepdad (and you a great husband) later on. Children just need father-figures... they don't need the biological father... and even so, if the father-figure isn't there.. that's okay. Just be a great mom and the baby will turn out fine. I'm a firm believer that true happiness is better for everyone than just staying together for the kid(s). Plus, what you've got to remember... is that even if you choose to be a single mom... that doesn't mean the father has to step off of the plate. He can still be there for the child, you just won't be together.
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my question is is what is he going to do about the ex he got pregnant when he cheated on you? Is she with someone else therefore independent of your boyfriend or is he hanging her high and dry to raise your child?
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