Alone Scared Pregnant And Depressed
6 Replies
 | B - January 11 |
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Hello Ladies. I'm in a tough spot and could really use some advice. I dated my boyfriend for a year and we had a long distance relationship and only saw each other on the weekends and it was great. We eventually decided to move in together and that I would move to where he was with my daughter (I'm already a single mom but it's not his child) and I would find a new job and we would all live together. Well that happened about 4 months ago and since we've been living together our relationship has gone down hill and has now ended. He still has his stuff at the apartment but he doesn't stay there anymore and he will be moving out very soon. I found out I was pregnant about a month ago and I'm now 10 weeks. We've discussed my pregnancy and he says he would like me to keep the baby even though we have decided not to be together. I truly love this man and have done so much for him but I see that he's not making me happy (not even trying) and that he’s probably been using me. He's not a very stable person financially or emotionally, found this out after moving in together. He says no matter what that he will help me out but he doesn't have the best track record for following through and I'm so scared I can't do it on my on financially. He has a job but it's not a great one and he's been through spells of not working at all so I'm not sure if I could even get child support on a regular basis. I feel so alone and confused because I'm now in this new city with no family or friends, all I have (had) here is him. I've been thinking about an abortion but I don't know if I can go through with it. I don't know how I'll be able to go through this pregnancy alone and already being a single mom. As I sad I'm already 10 weeks pregnant so I don't have much longer to make up my mind. I don't know why it's so difficult for me. I feel that the only reason he wants me to keep the baby is so he can still have some type of control over me. He said that his biggest fear about us splitting is that he can’t stand the thought of me being with someone else and he doesn't want anyone else to have me, although I guess he really doesn't want me either. Is he just playing me for a fool in trying to talk me into keeping the baby? My due date is this August so I would basically be alone and unable to date anyone else until and after then for awhile. I'm so confused and have nobody to talk to. I don't feel like I can see the situation clearly because I'm in it. If anyone can give me some advice I would really appreciate it!
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B... can you move back to where you were living before? I would try to get away from him. You can do this. If you are worried about finances, there are programs to help single mothers with food, money, daycare (so you can work). You will be proud of yourself for keeping this child and doing your best. If you terminate then you will most likely regret it for the rest of your life. Good Luck
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I don't have the money to move back now and I've also found a job that is paying me significantly more than I was earning in my previous city. I went to the health department to have my pregnancy confirmed and they told me about programs that I can apply for (WIC, Medicaid, etc.) but the problem is that I make too much to qualify for these, but too little to be able to handle this myself. I'm just a little over the cut off. I'm also still waiting for health insurance through my current job so I don't have any insurance right now at all. I also hope that if I decide to keep this baby that my current employer will not let me go. Everything is just all screwed up!
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I had the same problem. the screwed up gov't gives all the money to the crackheads and we end up suffering. even as a single mother with a family of three (unborn counts) u still couldn't get anything. that is rough. I would seek some type of counseling, maybe your dr. knows something you can do. Don't give up.
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Nomally I wouldn't say this, but you need to consider having an abortion. You obviously cant afford another child, and if you went with adoption what would your little girl think? She wouldn't understand but when she got older it would make her pretty mad to know that mommy gave away a sibling, whereas, with an abortion she doesnt have to know until she's alot older and your comfortable having that kind of conversation with her. I wish you the best, and no matter how lonely you may feel, there will always be people to help somewhere.
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Hi, I have been alone since I got pregnant seven months ago. I decided to keep the baby. I was alone in a big city away from my family and friends. My boyfriend was in jail and I had no help at all. I moved back home where my family is and have been ever since. Even though I had to make sacrafices moving back, overall I think I will make it. There are a lot of resources available for single parents. Yes, you will have to work, and you will probably just make ends meet. The laws for child support are strict and hopefully the Father will have a job. Even if he doesn't, he could go to jail for non-payment. I had to forget about my boyfriend and think about myself. That is what you should try to do. It will make you feel better if you start calling pregnancy centers and asking for help. I am still scared about having this baby and raising it on my own. I have had many obstacles and hopefully they will end soon. I still think about adoption, but I am doing everything humanly possible to be able to keep my baby. That's all I can do. Also, if you are spiritual, pray a lot. It helps.
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In reference to adoption. I gave up a son 19 years ago because I couldn't get help to keep him. I had another son four years old when I gave birth. I have since reunited with my birth son and he and my other son are close. The son that I kept was never upset about what I did and understands. You have to weigh what is best for your sanity. I moved back home into my cousins house without a penny to my name. I have since gotton a job and connected with lots of resources. Being alone and pregnant is no fun. If you are going to leave the area do it now. You can still get another job and be around people that care.
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