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I'm 19, and about 10 weeks along. I was indecisive about getting an abortion, it was what my boyfriend of I'll say a good long while, and I agreed on, because we aren't as financially stable as we'd like to be, we had talked about that many times before it happened. When I first told him, we somewhat argued on it, because the reality of it was making me want an abortion less and less, and the fact that it was a part of him and a part of me formed from love made me overjoyed, without me really realizing it at first, so a few weeks later I tried bringing it up again, only to give into his idea of wanting an abortion.
Now, about 3 days before xmas, I find out that he had been talking to another girl where he works, sending her text messages that she wont worry because within two weeks he'll brake up with me, and will be with her, telling her all the cute candy-coated things he used to say to me, though according to a lot of people, he never actually "did" anything with her, not even hug her, out of respect for me. I come to find out from numerous sources that he had planned on breaking up with me the night that I first told him i was pregnant, but because i had told him, he no longer had the heart to, afraid that it would just be 'more drama'. We are still living together, I've come to look at it as purely my child, and i've finally made up my mind that i am going to keep it, even if he wants no part in it, I am 200% posative that I can do it and that I'm ready. I had thought it through for a couple months before I became pregnant, and was having thoughts of really wanting to have a child, and I had gone through all the posabilities and such, and I am definately ready. We were not married, but commited without a doubt in my mind (now it seems perhaps it was only mine) and he had wanted children since he was 21 (he is 26, and he now just tells me that while thats true he wants to be married first, im not sure if its just me that he suddenly doesnt want)
So far Im indecisive about whether I should move elsewhere or not, my parents are somewhat wanting me to move back in with them, he says he definately still wants to live with me, we are still best friends despite the drama going around, and he says he still loves me and cares about me with all his heart and more than anyone else, and that he's afraid of losing me as his best friend, and that its only that the "attraction" is gone. He is a completely honest person, he never lies, about anything at all, though he does simply avoid the subject altogether if theres anything he could lie about. I am afraid of losing him as a friend as well, and I was going to tell him tonight as soon as he got home from work, and hope for the best but prepared for the worst at my decision, and now my mind is just more confused and scared about simply that fact, because it is nearly 4 in the morning and he isnt home, to which i know that means he is off with the girl he's been "talking" to, who supposedly refused to "get with him" because we were still living together, and he supposedly said that it was fine then, because he'd rather still live with me, but yet he's with her even more.
I'm completely posative that I want to keep the baby, and completely posative that I am ready and can handle the responsiblity, even by myself. Its almost everything else that is confusing me right now, if that makes any sense at all...
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