Am I Stupid For Still Wanting Him
5 Replies
 | c - September 20 |
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My ex broke up with me when I told him I was pregnant. He has come to accept the pregnancy but he still does not want to get back together and be a family. My friends don't understand how I can still love him and want us to be together after he did this to me, I just cannot accept that he doesn't love me. It's been 2 months since we broke up. When I ask him why we can't be together, he tells me to get a job. I'm currently still in college and will be done in Nov. Does this ever get any easier? I know I will not be able to handle it if he has a different girlfriend that he wants our daughter to be around. I asked him yesterday to sign over his rights bc if we aren't together I can't raise a child together. I know this is selfish of me to ask him to do that, he has every right to be part of her life, but I think it would just be easier without him being part of our lives. He didn't want this pregnancy in the first place, he wanted me to abort. Now he's telling me he'll take me to court. It's not fair that after 6 years I'm going through this alone. He will not come to any dr appts, he will not look at ultrasound photos, he doesn't want a part in naming her. How can a man turn his back on someone he says he loves and wants to marry. I just don't understand it. After only 2 months apart he's already seeing other girls and yet still playing games with my head by having me stay at his house. Should I cut him out of my life completely or do I continue to try and work things out? The male gender is just so hard to figure out, thank goodness I'm having a girl lol!
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c - You have to back off. The fear he had of having the responsibility of the child is the same as having agirlfriend and a child to support. That is a responsibility he apparently feels he's not ready for. I'm not saying he shouldn't be responsible but let him know with or without him you and your daughter will be okay. I know you love him and every woman wants her family but you need to back off. Don't entertain him by staying over his house and sleeping with him when you know he is seeing other females. You don't need the heartache nor do you need any std. He will come around especially since you said he has already accepted the fact that you are pregnant. Now he just feels he wants to play and know you aren't going anywhere and especially not pregnant you won't. Hold strong, back off and he will come around.
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 | k - September 20 |
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Tray is right . There is nothing you can do that will force your ex to be with you . I know it hurts ,but i promise you it will get easier with time if you let it !! You can hold on to someone that isnt there .Don't use your daughter as a pawn he ( your ex) will only grow to resent you for it . Do not slepp with him !!!!!! It's like inviting disease to your door step ! The situation you are in sucks , but you have to worry about you and your baby . One thing i don't agree with Tray about ...he may never come around....but if you really start now to let him go and get over him , you will be that much closer to healing when the baby comes. :) You can do it alone ! Six years is a long time .Don't waste the next six .
Smile , you are blessed ! Good luck . And no you are not stupid for wanting him . But we all deserve someone that equally wants us !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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 | Jen - September 21 |
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I know how you feel. The man I was supposed to marry that claimed he love me so much and wanted me to have his kids just walked out the door while I was at work and flew to another state. Its hard. As people are telling me I will tell you (but i do understand how hard it is) keep your head up you are blessed! dont let him in and out of your life to play games with you youll be much better off in the long run without him. Best of luck to you! oh and another thing here in ohio in order for a man to sign over his rights it has to be to another man willing to adopt or something. I tried it with my first daughter and he wouldnt sign them over to someone else so he kept them and just never called again
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YOU KNOW THAT YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART YOU SHOULD LEAVE, AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU WANT TO STAY. LISTEN TO THAT PART THAT SAYS RUNNNNN!!! HE CAN END UP HURTING YOU, KILLING YOU, AND YOUR CHILD. MY COUSIN'S HUSBAND TRIED TO KILL HER, AND LUCKILY SHE GOT THE RESTRAINING ORDER AND HAD HIM PUT IN JAIL!!!!!!!!!
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C - don't forget that asking him to sign over his rights has consequenses. If he signs over all his parental rights, then he also doesn't have to pay child support. He took part in making this baby, and now if he's leaving you to raise her, the least you deserve is to receive monthly payments from him for your daughter's health, education, and well being.
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