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First, let me say I just spent an hour reading over a years worth of posts on this topic. Very diverse situations that made me cry pretty hard. I have been dating a man for 3 months, and the first night we were intimate I became pregnant. When we found out he immediately wanted me to have an abortion and I even scheduled an appointment and went, but ultimately could not go through with it. When I came clean with him, he cut me off. I sent him a really nice email today, no begging, just "it doesn't have to be like this" and his response was, "Please leave me alone". I have three kids from my marriage and am a great mom, own a house and run my own business, but I am scared sh*tless!
Here is my different perspective...and I am not feeling sorry for guys in these situations (most sound like total buttholes). But I can't help but think that if I were a guy in this situation, I would feel like I had ZERO control. They have no say in what we can do with our pregnancies. Sooooo, my thought is, if he is a good man, he will come back around when he's had some time to noodle it, and if not, then you probably shouldn't have him in your and your baby's life.
Girls, just take the high road. Always be honest, never shut any doors, try not to be bitter and always do what is in the best interest of your children.
Best of luck to everyone and I am sure I will be whining on here in the coming months - lol!
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I kind of SORT of agree with what you've said here. BUT they do have control of their own retardedness. I just don't think that it's fair that we have to baby our men when we're pregnant just because they're scared. What about us? We're the ones carrying the babies! Our men should be the supportive ones and it makes me so mad when my ex tells me that he's going to call and he doesn't. He b__ws me off time and again and he doesn't even want me to get an abortion. He wants the baby just as much as I do but seems to think that being a "daddy" starts after the baby is born. He doesn't care or doesn't realize that my stress over him is felt by the baby NOW.
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I agree with everyone because veryone has a point. I believe they have total control they are the ones who put it in and decided to ejaculate inside .They very well know the consequences of that and they ALL chose to ignore it. I do not feel bad whatsoever for any man who does this and then denies the women and the child.
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i find it soo aggravating how guys are like..oh your pregnant?!! They never say, oh man...I got you pregnant. Its like you did it all by yourself. Then they want you to go thru a physically and emotionally horrific experience like it's no big deal. Then if we dont they just turn their backs and walk away OR if they do stick around they treat you with bitterness and resentment like were forcing them to be respnsible. They never once consider the fact that we have to carry THEIR CHILD for 9 months and if they leave us...we have this life long responsibility while they just shrug it off. It is soo unfair. It's their fu**ing sperm that gets us pregnant. I wish they could walk in our shoes so they could see just how childish they act.
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That's exactly how I feel, KRC.. I feel like my ex is angry because I STOLD his sperm while he was sleep and injected into myself all without him knowing it! Or that I just walked down the the magic well and decided to get pregnant on my own! Well I DIDN'T!
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I share a lot of these same feelings. The other night I had to console my ex-boyfriend as he cried like a baby because he thinks is life is pretty much over. I'm only 6 weeks preg., but the entire time has been him begging me not to "destroy his life." Frankly, I'm already sick of it. Why do I have to be the one telling him that "everything will be okay??"
I know that he has no control over this, and that sucks for him. But, he still, in my opinion, has to make the best of it and deal with what's going on here.
That said, I'm scared sh**less. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he runs from this whole thing--at first I thought I'd be okay, but now I don't know....
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