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Since I got pregnant 5 months ago, my husband has changed so much. He is edgy all the time, yells about everything, and pulls away from me every time I touch him. He barely spends any time with me or our son, who is two, and when he is home, he wants to stare at the TV and be left alone. He and I have been fighting so much, it feels like he can take anything I say and turn it around so that it sounds negative. He doesn't want to discuss anything, and if I try, he starts yelling and screaming about divorce. Then this morning, he told me he isn't in love with me, and doesn't think he ever was. He also told me he doesn't think he wants this baby. I did get pregnant sooner than we had planned, we had decided to wait until our son was 3, but my bc failed. I did not plan it, but I'm not sorry either. Now he says he thinks I did it on purpose to "trap" him, and make him stay married to me, but we weren't even having marital problems until after I got pregnant! I know my husband loves our son, he is wonderful with him, but what about this baby? How can he care for, or even relate to, a child he has already decided he doesn't want? I have known this man for five years, but now I feel like I never really knew him at all. He says he doesn't know why this is happening, just that his feelings have changed now. I think this is a pretty shitty excuse, I think I deserve something a little better than that! How can he do this to me and our kids after I have loved and trusted him for so long? Now, I'm not stupid, I realize there is probably another woman involved, but he swears this is not the case. He says if it was he would tell me, at least it would be a legitimate excuse(shitty and cruel, but legitimate). I don't get it, how can a man just say, sorry no longer interested, and walk away after a 5 year relationship, a marraige, and two children? I have spent years giving my all to him, supporting us financially while he got a small business off the ground, and doing most of the work around the house and with our son while he worked such long hours. Now that his company is doing well, it feels like he's just tossing me to the side because he doesn't need me anymore. BTW, we have a joint loan he needed to start this company, and still owe about 8 thousand on it, not to mention a good-sized mortgage loan, too. This is happening so fast. I'm so hurt and mad at him, but I love him so much. It makes me feel pathetic to think I actually want to hold on to someone that doesn't want me, but I do. I don't want to lose him. I was never in love until I met him, and the thought of that wonderful love just being over is breaking my heart. I know I should just let things go, and save what little dignity I have left, but it's so hard. I thought I might actually have a chance for real love, the kind that lasts. I never knew anyone who stayed together, nearly every couple in my extended family, including my parents and both sets of grandparents, were divorced. I just wanted it to last, for us and our kids. I wanted it so bad, but now I feel like there's something inside me going, "what the h__l did you expect, you knew it would happen sooner or later, it always does". If I did something to change his feelings for me, I have no idea what it could have been. To be honest, a part of me knows that things are not going to get better, and I hate knowing there's nothing I can do about it. I know I shouldn't want him anymore, but I still do. Any advice, or even just someone to talk to, would be great. Sorry this is so long.
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