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So I’m 5 months pregnant and everything is going ok. I’m not with the baby’s father but he is very supportive and says that he will be there for his child. Now the biggest frustration that I am finding is what to do about custody of the child. He has got advice from his family to get joint custody but if I do that how do I know that he will really stick around. I don’t know what to do or what any of it means. My uncle is a lawyer but he is very over protective of me and his family so he wants to go all the way. I don’t want a battle because I know how that can end up. I’m just very scared of what to do and don’t want my decision to effect the way the father feels about everything and want to be as fair as I can but all for the best for my child.
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Talk with the father...and have him and you discuss it without the family. It is yours and his baby and the easiest way to handle the situation is if the two of you talk and make an agreement. Sometimes family can really make a situation like this worse and you don't want that. So you and him one on one, take a day and just sit and talk about EVERYTHING. Don't mention what his mom wants or your mom wants...just you and him say what each of you feel is right and come to an agreement. Write it on paper and both of you sign it and if it comes to court, you have that paper and you are both liable for what you said. Of course get it noturized so its official. If family has something to say, at least you and him know what you both want and don't make the mistake of the both of you doing what your family wants and not what you want.
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What do you mean your uncle wants to go "all the way?"
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Probably get full custody of the baby and make sure the father has no rights to the baby...at least thats what I'm pretty sure she is meaning...I haven't seen you on in a while lunamoo...
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If the father wants to be there for the child then i would get joint custody. For you to get sole custody if the father wants to be involved is not right. Also if the father wants to be involved that is a good thing for you and even better for the child. Joint custody means that you both have equal rights on decisions about the child. It has nothing to do with child support or access to the child. Thats a seperate issue. If you want my opinion, if he wants to be a part of the childs life and be there finacially, why go to court? There is no need to. It is always best to come to an agreement among yourselves about access and child support.
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ahhhh.......well volcomgurlie - not sure about where u r but where i'm from joint custody does include access to the child. my stepfather has two children from a previous relationship and him and his ex-partner have joint custody of their children....they have them on a week on-week off basis.....so he has them one week, she has them the next...it does include decision making but also includes the financial side as well....everything they need to buy or pay for regardiing the kids they split it half......its just like having two homes......and Jac081207.....u and the father need to sort this out on ur own..this is yours and his child...not his and your families....you guys make the decisions on your own....i agree with Nerdy_Girl......go with what the two of u want...not wat everyone else wants!!!!!
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