Depressed Please Help Me Please Part 2
7 Replies
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Hi Guys, well for the past couple of days he has been calling me and screaming and yelling about how we can not have this baby and that he is flying home so we can take care of this problem. Its been so bad that i wont take his calls. Finally I texed him (casue i was tired of being yelled at) and told him that I will help him in any way possible for us to make it through this but that there is not way i am having an abortion. SO guess what " HE DUMPED ME" Said he will be sending all my stuff back and that we are done. That i was forcing him into something he didn't want... Why do guys think they are the only ones in the world? I have made soo many sacrafices over the past 3 years to help him get on his feet and move to the US and work for a company there. I have never once asked him for money and infact he owed me some. If i had an abortion I could NEVER live with my self. I would be bitter cause i would be doing it for him and not me . Then i would be alone to deal with that for the rest of my life. I barely made it through a miss carriage. And why since our plans were to get married and have kids anyways and already tried a year ago is this such a problem? I told him i would support it financially till he was OK.
I have spent the weekend balling, and i have to say if it weren't for my mother i don't know how i would make it through this. I can only wish that i can end up being a mother like her. She supports me 100%. I keep telling her i am terrified to do this alone and in such shock over how my boyfriend of 4 years has reacted.
I told my self if i don't protect this little life inside of me then who will. God am i ever still in shock. I go from scared to sad to hurt to disappointed back to scared again. I cant believe this is happening that 4 years of loving and supporting some one they can turn around becasue they dont like a situation that we can both work on and dump a person and their child. WTF!
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I am just soo scared that i will never feel happiness again. I am a nice person with the biggest heart. My mother tells me i am to nice. I plays soccer and apologies constanty to the other team if i knock them down or accidentaly hurt them. My coach hates it. I just know that i would loose my self if i aborted it. I can live with him hating me but i can not live with hating my self. sorry to rambel on i am just sooo depressed and talking to you guys is the only thing that makes me feel ok. I wish you guys lived here. Thanks
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you cant make a decision like that to make someone else happy... you will regret it for the rest of your life... you wanted that life (and at the time he did too) ... do not give that up because he is scared... i know i didnt... and i wouldn't give up my baby girl for ne thing... even though her father never did come around... but the saying is true for most men... women become mothers when they get pregnant ... men become fathers when they see/hold their child for the first time... i hope everything turns out well... jus back off him for a while... get your life straight without him for now... and be cautious if he does come back.. but take care of you and that baby
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what a horrible nasty guy. you deserve much better. in years to come he will see what he has missed out on and he will end up being a sad lonely old man. hold your ground and use your mother for support. you will be able to pull through it and you might even look back and think 'im glad he did that' because it got you out of a relationship with such a nasty guy.
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Heres the thing: Men like to be in control at all times...or at least FEEL like they are. The fact that he cannot make this decision for you is driving him completely stark raving mad. But I say tough noogies. I was in a very similar boat as you except the father wanted me to put the child up for adoption (he is highly against abortion). I wouldn't budge, not one bit. I told him I was keeping the child with or without him. And what do ya know...five months later he has come knocking on my door again. Once guys get over the fact that it is out of their control at this point, I think MOST of them tend to come around. It's your body and your life so tell him to p__s off for now...I'm so sick of hearing about men telling women to kill their child. Ridiculous.
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i agree with colleen!! men do need to feel the control... and the fact that they have no control over this drives them all CRAZY!!! the father of my child was the same way. yelling screaming flipping out because he wanted me to have an abortion. we were ex's at the time. he kept saying how i was making the wrong choice. i backed off from him.. stopped calling and texting and was kinda short with him when he would txt me. and finally after about three weeks he came around. said that he wants to be with me and the baby.
men need time. that is alll you can do.
GOOD LUCK!!!
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what scares me is you sound like you might actually consider abortion but are scared because you don't want to feel bad because you don't want to. if you don't want to, then don't. it is absolutely your choice and he can go jump off a cliff if he doesn't like it. what was he going to do when he flew home, drag you into a clinic? they would have called the police on him and i'm sure if there was anyone there, they'd be all over him to get away from you. he sounds like a nut. so where's he from? it sounds as if he's not from the us? and what does he think he can stay here if he dumps you? nah sorry, we don't do that here. it'll look like he lied to get into the country. i know all about those laws because my husband's an australian citizen and we have to keep proving we're a legitimate couple (like this little baby in my tummy is all part of an elaborate plan =P ). anyway, let us know of any changes and don't let him near you. i'm worried for you and he seems off enough.
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