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This is more of a rant than I question, I guess, but I just gotta get this off my chest. I've posted on here a few times before, you might remember my situation. Short story, I am 9wks 4d pregnant and I cannot stand the father at this point. He was supportive until I told him I was going to keep it and now he's freaking out and everything's about him. I told him I didn't want to date him anymore and he started saying it was so I could see other guys. Well, the truth is, I'm still in love with my ex, whom I dated for 2 years, and he is still in love with me. We took a break and that's when I got pregnant (what are the chances?!). I know in my heart that he is the one and that what we have will out live anything. He has been so supportive about this pregnancy and that just shows me how selfless he is (of course there is nothing romantically going on right now, I think that would be inappropriate). The father is needy, emotionally neglectful, unstable, and immature. I want him out of the picture!! I would never tell him he couldn't see his child, but I feel guilty because I do secretly wish he would just stop calling me. I make enough money to take care of my child and myself, so I have no need for a man in this baby's life that is so unavailable.
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would your caring ex be prepared to take on the role of dad? if so then think about everything and mayb make a future with the guy who cares and kick the dog to the kerb for good!! :o) good luck
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you dont want him around then tell him you dont want him dont stay with someone that you dont want your feelings will only get worse and you could take it out on the child when its born.There is no use for either of you tell him to leave that way he can find a gal that appreciates him and you can be with someone that will do that for you
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Well.... there's always this option.... if the father doesn't want to see his baby, or doesn't really want to be a father, then you can always offer him to sign off on his paternal rights. This way he will never have to worry about you going for child support (not that you would) and you would never have to worry about him going for custody/visitation after 5 years of being absent (for example). BUT... in most states, in order to do this you have to have someone willing to adopt your child. Meaning like if you and your ex got back together and got married... the father would basically be giving his rights to your ex. Or you might even be able to have a family member "adopt"... it'd be something to check into if you wanted to go that route. I know I'm looking into it. My ex hasn't even contacted me in over 2 months, if I could afford to go without the child support I'd ask him if he wants to give up his rights. That is if the state would allow my mom to adopt my daughter. If anything happens to me I want my daughter to go to my mom (who she is closest to, next to me), not someone she doesn't know.
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I don't really see your dilema. You are pregnant. You want to keep it. You want to get back with your ex. You don't sound like you are confused about anything. Just let the father see the baby when he wants to. If he decides that he WANTS to be a father to his child, you should at least let him try. But that really has nothing to do with who you choose to be with. Be with teh one you love and have your baby and everything else will work itself out.
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i agree with frankschick. i think you have a great situation. to have found "the one" is so lucky--even if he's not technically the father of your baby. be with him, let the father have visitation and move on with your life with your baby and your ex. :) good luck!
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