Gotta Get This Off My Chest
7 Replies
 | KL - February 3 |
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OK, this isn't a question, basically just a heated comment! I just read something on another post, I can't believe how dangerously naive some people are about unprotected s_x! There was this guy who actually said it's not his fault this woman got pregnant, she's old enough to know how to use birth control, he just assumed she'd take care of things. You know what you do when you assume things!! Don't people understand? There is only one thing that makes a baby(outside a lab!):SEX. If a baby is not what you want, s_x is not what you should do! If you do, it is up to YOU(even if you are a man) to make sure everything possible is done to prevent a baby. It's really not that hard! But even if birth control is used, sometimes it does fail(no matter what type, any kind can fail)and BOTH the man and the woman have to be ready to accecpt responsibility if that happens! You both have to know the options and be ready to discuss what to do. I am getting so SICK of hearing these idiot men(sorry, not nice but we all know it's true) saying c__p like "it's not my problem, you should have been on the pill" or " she did it on purpose, she just wants to get ahold of my money"! On purpose, yeah. Like being single and alone with a child is exactly what most women would do if given the chance! Look, the truth is, there are men who should just never be in serious relationships or have children. Period. These men are just way too self-involved.They just aren't the kind of guys who ride lawn mowers and build swing sets! The problem is, they don't tell women this before they sleep with them! They'd never be honest and say something like, "I like you, but I have no idea how to have a meaningful relationship, and I don't like the idea of marraige. I have no problem having s_x with you, but I don't want kids, and if you end up pregnant, it's your problem, I don't even want to hear about it. Now, let's get started!" None of them would get very far if they actually had to be honest! It sucks that so many guys can't be trusted, but the truth is ladies, some of them just are not trustworthy. Make sure you really get to know a man before you devote your life to loving him and raising his babies. Trust me, it's an easy trap to get stuck in!!!
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| krc - February 3 |
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HEHE...feel better ? LOL Men are idiots sometimes !
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| KL - February 3 |
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Thanks, as a matter of fact, I do. I'm sorry! I just realized what a nut I sounded like, I just got so mad when I read that! I'm 27 weeks, and I get a little frustrated sometimes......... :)
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Hahaha... are you talking about my ex? just kidding.. but that sounds JUST like him. He's a self-centered pansy mamma's boy who runs at the HINT of responsibility. He pretty much thought it was impossible to get a woman pregnant by the pull-out method.. even though he'd already done it to 2 women (I was the 2nd). Then he accuses me of TRAPPING him! Yeeeaaaaah... just what I'd always wanted... to be connected to him for the next 18 years. Dream come true. Moron. and before anybody says "well you chose to lay down with him" There's a story there that you don't know about. Short Version: I lived with the guy for a year, toward the end started noticing him lying, then started to realize the REAL him (he's AMAZING at putting up a front... he could seriously fool a lie detector test), stopped sleeping with him, got drunk and slept with him one night (we all make mistakes), got pregnant, that's when it REALLY hit me that he wasn't who I thought he was because after i told him I was pregnant, he avoided me, then dumped me 3 1/2 months later, and got engaged to a girl he barely knew 3 months after that. aaaand as it turns out I'm the 2nd girl he's gotten pregnant and left.. but do you think our friends could've told me that BEFORE I dated him for a freakin year? nooooooooooooooooooo... haha. Yep, he's a COMPLETELY different guy than I thought he was. Good news is.. his current fiance won't let him come near me. So I don't really have to deal with him :) Anyway, guys like that are rediculous. They need to grow up.
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 | js - February 4 |
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If you read the rest of the post you will see where the guy wakes up and realizes he is to blame and takes full responsibility... It's a good read - just don't get upset about the first few comments...
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| KL - February 4 |
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js... I know, I did read the thread. Your right, and I'm glad the guy came to his senses. I was using his first few comments as an example of how ridiculously naive some men are about responsibility. I guess it just gets to me, especially when I think about how, when a woman has a baby, her responsibility for that child is a given. Unless a woman gives her child up for adoption, she IS responsible for everything that child needs. The option of waiting for the court to decide things does not exist for her. Not that most women would want it that way, we're way too invested in our children's lives to NOT care about their well-being. I guess it scares me a little to look around and see how many men think of their offspring as a mistake, a burden that exists only to suck them dry financially. The fact that so many guys look at their kids as a check they have to wright every month somehow makes the idea of family a lot less sacred than it should be, you know? I know many men are not like this, but the truth is, way too many of them are. Our society seems to always be looking for an explanation for the "downfall" of family values. I think things are way more obvious than most people want to admit, you know? Too many men don't want to grow up, and they tend to see children as "traps" to tie them down instead of the beautiful gifts that they truly are!
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i understand you point
you have to understand that
the woman has all the facts
as the male, you have to take a leap
of faith and beleive the female
or ask for a dna test
there are horror stories of men
in long term realtionships discovering
the children they are raising are not theirs --think of how hurtful that must be for a man --to add salt to the wound they have to pay child support any way --not all men are devils and not all woman are angels
can you look at the situatuion from my point of view---i knew the mother of my
child on a casual basis--yeah people have casual s_x --it happens
she expected me to take her at her word the child was mine ---
not once did she ever ask my feelings
or consider how it would effect me --from jump street just barked out orders and told how things were going to be --a hypocritical feminist ---i can take of things on my own --i just want your $
i wanted a dna test --i needed to know the child was mine before i got envolved
once the test proved the child was mine i have done the best i could for the baby
she is about one
mother and i are pragmatic --no relationship except to agree to make this the best sitiuation for the child
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Tex... I think I remember your old posts on here. You're definitely a different kind of guy than the ones most of us here are dealing with.. and you should be proud of yourself. More guys should be like you and take responsibility.. and you're absolutely right that there are irresponsible girls just like there are irresponsible guys. My ex wanted a DNA test... and yes, I was offended by it (because he KNOWS I would NEVER cheat), but I understood why he wanted it done.. because it's better to be 100% sure now than to always wonder. Your situation was different in that you didn't really know the mother of your child because your relationship was casual.. and she very well COULD have been sleeping with other guys (without cheating). If that had been the case between my ex and I, I wouldn't have gotten offended. Your reasons for wanting a DNA test were completely understandable. Anyway... keep being a good dad to your child. You're a reminder to all of us, that there are actually good guys out there.
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