Has Anyone Done This In Another Country
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Hi, I've been reading all your posts for a couple weeks now and have been a silent member of your community, albeit a very grateful one. I currently live in South Korea. I'm 27yro, 22w4d. I'd like to believe I'm reasonably intelligent but deciding (yes, we decided) to have a baby with his/her daddy was definitely a mistake. I've been living overseas for several years now but he just arrived here 7 months ago. We were only together a couple of months and I got pregnant on-literally-our first try. From that moment, he became a diffferent individual all together. Remote. Distant. I'd had no reservations about him but now we barely speak. I don't want to bash him, but I'm basically in this foreign country, doing this alone. Have received no money from him and have no way to do so here legally. 3weeks ago I told him we had to stop talking for a little while. We were talking at 11pm at night, having horrible arguments and then I wasn't sleeping. We don't live together, and I'm struggling with whether we should once the baby is born. This whole experience has been a nightmare, the calm in the storm being thebaby, who is healthy as an ox and kicking like one, too. Sorry to write ad nauseum but this is a very hard place to be a single mum and I could really use some support.
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I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I can just imagine how hard it is to go through that in a whole new country and away from family. Is there anyway for you to move back to where your friends and family live? I know my mother and my babies' dad's parents have really offered as much support as they can for me. Although talking about it really does not take away the hurt. As far as your men goes I would say that if he does not want to be supportive and help you through this then just let him go, he may change his mind and realize what he is missing or he might not. I really do not understand the modern day male. It seems like the majority of them just want to do anything but be a part of a family, its almost like they are jealous of babies or they are not capable of handeling the responsibility. Try to hang in there and be as positive as you can for the health of your little baby. Emotions run high in pregnancy which makes everthing that much harder. At least we have forrums like this where we can be comforted by that fact that we are not completely alone. Good luck and take care of yourself.
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Hi there. I've never lived in Korea, but I have spent time in Japan (ages ago, as an exchange student) and China (teaching English) and I think that in some ways, having a baby there would be good, but I would be nervous of the legal system (does the father automatically get more rights than he would in your home country?) and although most doctors probably speak some English, I'd be more comfortable giving birth in a setting where I can easily communicate with as many people as possible. I a__sume you speak some Korean, I just think that English would be easier while in labor. Honestly, if your family is at all supportive, I think I would go home-home for the birth and a couple of months after, then return to Korea (if you decide you want to) when you're ready to return to work. And ditch the guy, in terms of romantic relationship. Maybe you can resume a friendship later on. This is (as everyone keeps telling me) a major life transition, and I think you need to make a lot of space for yourself before the baby arrives.
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hi faraway - i live in germany and i do speak the language, so i will end up having my baby in german! however, if you decide to stay in korea, i would imagine there are doctors who speak english. there is an american women's club in seoul and probably some kind of international women's club where you may be able to get some references or find a young moms group with women who will have gone through the process there. also, perhaps there are some women's organizations or maybe even something similar to planned parenthood, where you can find a support group. good luck to you.
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