How Involved Should He Be
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I am currently 33 weeks pregnant. The father was an ongoing "booty call" for almost a year. We never had a real relationship, just s_x, although I have known him since HS. Since I have become pregnant he did come to one ultrasound appointment with me but stayed across the room. Other than that he does not call and when I questioned him about why he said he is not sure what he should be doing or how often he should call. What should I expect from him under these circ_mstances? Do I have any right to be offended that he doesn't care to know how the baby is doing throughout the pregnancy? I do think he will be there for her once she is born. Any advice on the situation is greatly appreciated!
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Hi-
I am in a similar situation. I am 23 wks pregnant and the father and i had pretty much the same relationship. He has been to none of my appointments- he says he is just busy with his other son and work, that is why we dont see eachother very often.
At least now we talk on the phone for more than once a week. He really wanted me to have an abortion in the beginning. The day I found out I was having a girl he called me and we got together and had a long talk he told me he could not walk away from this but I am still left not knowing how involved he wants to be... I am to the point where I am just going to have to quit being so nice and giving him so much space and ask him I guess! Maybe you should consider this also, tell him he cant come in and out of your childs life either hes there or hes not! Good luck
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Actually... I have to give my opinion on the "either he's there or he's not" situation. I felt the same exact way you did. I was afraid the father would come in and out and that would mess my daughter up, or hurt her unbelievably. I felt that way UNTIL I asked my half-sister (whose father was in and out of her life) She told me that ANY time spent with the father was better than no time at all. Her father was married to our mom until she was 3... then he would disappear for a while, then he'd come back, then he'd disappear. You would think this would bother a child, but she was happy with any time she got to see him. Talking to my sister changed my opinion. So girls, don't stress about whether the father will be there or not until after the child is born. When you have the baby, then set up a visitation schedule (most states recommend 3 days a week for 2 hours each time in the mother's home for the first few months... ideally the infant should not go for more than 3 days without seeing either parent) keep track of whether he shows up or not (will come in handy later if he tries to go for custody) but don't stress about what the father's doing or going to do.. just be the best mom you can.. and let the father be there if he wants to be (it IS better for the child to have the father in their life... I've done quite a bit of research on this during my pregnancy, and it's been proven that children turn out better as adults when they have a father-figure) If the father doesn't ever come to see his child, then that'll just kick him in the b___t later, and he'll regret it. But you will be the parent who has always been there, and your child will love and respect you for that.
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