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I am a 28 year old mother of two wonderful children, and recently I found out that I was pregnant. I want to start from the beginning, I was in an abusive relationship with my children's father, i mustard up the strength to leave him, returned to school, and started to feel empowered by new found independance. I decided not to get to close to a man while i was attending school, also because i needed to take my time and get to know the man before i introduced him to my children. So I dated men, partically to satisfy my s_xual desire, I was looking for the "no strings attached relationship," what i mean by that is I wanted to go out on dates, talk on the phone, and on occasion have s_xual intercouse. Now I wasn't out every night with a different man, in fact I only had s_x with two of the men that I was dating in the year that I was single. To make a long story short, I had s_x with my unborn's father and found out that I was pregnant a month later. I was and am still fustrated by the situation, I used protection that night, but because the condom broke, I ended up pregnant. So many thoughts raned through my mind, but I mad the decision to keep the baby. The father wasn't happy upon hearing that I was pregnant, he expected me to get an abortion, but I told him that it wasn't an option for me. He has now accepted the fact that I am pregnant but he wants a "family" and I do not think that it's okay just to be with someone simply because your pregnant by them. He's "single" from what he tells me, and he's always inquiring about the baby. This will be his first child and he's 5 years younger than me. We both came to the conculsion that we felt uncomfortable with me having s_x with someone other than him so we decided to have a s_xual relationship, after the first two times that we've had s_xual intercouse it didn't seem right so I've since put an end to it. I feel like he wants more than I'm willing to give, I absolutely wanted more for my child, i wanted to be able to tell my child that me and their father was in love,etc. I now this might sound crazy but i don't know how I am going to love this child the way that I love my other children, I know that sounds crazy but I don't know no other way to put it, I mean I know I am going to love this child but I wonder if it will be the same as my others, I do not want my child to feel unwanted, or to feel different, my other to children look like they could be twins, I wonder will this child feel any different, and am I going to show more love to this child because it might feel out of place, I feel like I'm stuck sometimes, I am not at all thrilled about this pregnancy and I know that alot of you all are wondering how a mother could say that, but i'm just being honest.