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The child is still very young, getting involved in his life will not be hard at all. If you wait time is ticking. The older the child gets the more they see, learn, and understand. Call within your area and call some attorneys within her area of residence to learn what your rights are. I think because the mother has established her residence in MI those laws apply. The first step would be to establish paternity (I recommend DNA) and legitamate the child (this will change the birth certificate to show you as the father & give the child your name if you request for the child to carry your name). Once DNA results have been returned a 2nd court date will be scheduled to establish child support and visitation rights. I would discuss in detail with an attorney what your actual desires are regarding visitation and I would also check to see if under the circ_mstances you would be required to pay back any child support. just as women should know her rights, you as the father should know yours. Do to circ_mstances you may ask the attorney if the mother would be responsible for court fees, attorney cost, and the cost of the DNA. That would relieve some expenses on your behalf. Once you become involved it is a forever relationship and you should remain active throughout your sons life, if you know you will not be dedicated then maybe you should not pursue this issue. Just because you two reside in different areas does not mean you can not be involved in his life. When he is not with you call him, send cards, know what activities he is involved with, learn his likes and dislikes, and be involved in knowing what is going on with school (grades..programs...). If the mother is not willing to share information talk with your child and send a letter to school (pre-school) asking if they will send you updates of progress. Talk with your new GF and make sure she supports you completely. If she acts like this will change your relationship, I would question why she is selfish. As a women she should respect your being a man and taking the steps to be a responsible daddy. Being a father is a matter of sperm, being a daddy is many things and it takes a special person to fulfill that role. Happy holidays and let me know how things go.

thanks for your feedback... how much does child support cost anyway? i always hear people talk about it..but i really have no clue.

It varies from state to state. Some do a certain % of your income & any other children, some base it off her income and your income. That is why I suggest you call some attorneys and advice from more than one. Learn all you can, maybe between the two of you she will agree to certain terms. Write down what she would want, you would want, and then what is your legal responsibility. For example, I offered my sons father to put our son his insurance, see if his mom would help with child care part-time(i would pay), expenses as needed (diapers...), visitation as requested, and I would let him take him out on taxes every other year. And I needed him to agree to sign the BC. I was going to do a consent to order which means we both agree to certain terms and would not go to court but would fulfill our agreement. But he seemed to think he was getting screwed, so now if I go through an attorney and go to court he will have the following: 21% child support, every other weekend visitation (if not exercised an additional 15 %), all medical expenses incident to birth, must provide medical coverage, all maternity expenses not covered, child support retro to birth, attorney fees, court fees, paternity DNA cost, and 1/2 child care expenses if extordinary. No tax breaks. So lay out what you think is fair and seek an attorneys advice before talking with her so you will know your rights, then talk with her and let her know that you would like to be involved and how the two of you can work together, regardless do it legally.

PS. It is my desire to work together I think it makes for a smoother future raising a child. But in my case he wants nothing to do with this, he calls when he ready, avoids my calls for days and says he is getting the insurance informtion..... Since NOV still do not have that info. Just the other day he said "i will either pay an agreed $ amount or insurance but not both I am helping you". His att_tude sucks. I am hopeful that his att_tude and tone changes. I just want him to do what he says and communicate with me as an adult, but if not he is backing me into corner. My childs welfare comes before his ignorance. FYI - we were together 4 yrs and are in our 30's.....