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I'm 7 months pregnant,and i've had nothing but trouble since i got pregnant.I had to quit my job,and i really didn't want to,I got in a car accident,my "best friend" went off on me about some things for pretty much no reason,and said really nasty stuff.So,I pretty much have no car,no job,no friends,and i found out the baby's dad was living w/someone and i didn't know it.So of course i broke up w/him,but he said they didn't love each other and he was pretty much staying there until she got a place so he didn't have to leave her w/all the bills.So she finally just moved out,and he got his own place,too,and he says he really loves ME and he's wanted me to marry him and live w/him.He's always said those things,even before i knew about all that.I've always said no,though.Especially after i found out.But,call me stupid,I really do love him.But of course i told my parents when i found out about that,and they hate him and they've never even met him.So i'm wondering if i can forgive him and trust him,and if they would ever forgive him too.So basically on top of the other things,i've also lost someone i really love.By my choice,i guess,but i can't trust him right now.I feel like i have no one,and there have been so many days i wake up and hope bein pregnant and all this stuff was a dream.That makes me feel worse,because sometimes it's like i don't really want the baby.There's been too much heartache associated w/him so far.I know it's not his fault,but i can't help feeling like that.I can't even really get excited about being pregnant cuz of everything that's happened.There are a lot of times i wish i would die.I don't know if i can raise a baby when i'm such a mess myself.I'm scared,and i've never been so lonely.I've done nothing but cry the past 3 days.I can't eat,I can barely sleep.And when i cry it's so hard that it actually makes me weak.It makes my legs feel rubbery.I'm really scared i'm going to do something to myself,and of course if i hurt myself,it'll hurt the baby too.I'm a mess.I'm terrified.
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