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I told my story already in the post "my situation." I just came back to my parents house 2 days ago and haven't heard from my husband since I got here. I called him and he was really mad because he talked to his friend and got all freaked again about being a father (he said he's going to leave me b/c he doesnt want a baby). Anywaze, i know he has been so awful lately, but I miss him so much and my heart hurts so badly. I've devoted 3 years to this man and spent so much time on our relationship. I can't just stop loving him and i think about him all day long. His birthday is tomorrow, and that just makes everything worse. I want to be in his arms. I am just feeling so depressed and feel like my life is over. The only thing that keeps me going is thinking about becoming a mommy in 7 months.. but it seems like so far away. i don't want to hurt everyday.. =(
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Since I found out I was pregnant (I'm 15 weeks on 9/7) my husband (of 4yrs) and I have been going thru some serious ups and downs. I haven't been able to take my antidepressant and that has sent me into a serious downward spiral. Like you, " the love in my life" has left me unsupported (we even live separately). So, I know how you're feeling. But in my opinion, the worst thing you can do right now is to put him before you…and your baby. Think about what’s best in the long run. Think about what is most important to you. Is it you and your baby or is it him?
No one says you have to stop thinking about him. Right now, that’s not a possibility. You will think of him. 24 hours everyday. But know that everyday it will get easier. And instead of waiting around for him to realize what he’s losing by giving up the mother of his baby and his own flesh and blood, try to continue living for yourself. Put yourself center stage and start thinking “you”. I know it’s hard, but it just takes will and effort. Did you know that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit? If you want to stop something; you have to not do it for 21 days in a row. If you want to put yourself first, don’t allow yourself to see, talk to, ask about or have anything to do with him for 21 straight days. By then you will be in a clearer state of mind. More capable of not being “controlled” by his “bad habit”. If after 21 days you still feel he should be a part of your lives at least by then you’ll have proved to yourself that you were strong enough to do this on your own for a while. And maybe one day you’ll look back on that experience and that will be what you need to finally put yourself first. Good luck!
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