I Need Support And Reassurance
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Well, im 21 weeks pregnant with my third child.
I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship and the baby im pregnant with now and my 4 year old are from my ex. Its wierd to say ex because everything happend so recently.
Ive been with him for 6 years, and he has put me through alot. Hes 27, and could never manage to hold a job, and through the majority of the relationship ive been the breadwinner. At times hed just be awful to me and im pretty sure he is bipolar, but hes never been diagnosed. AND Within the past 2 - 3 years he started using meth. The worst part is he is not the stereotypical user - he seems totally normal and he uses maybe once a week Ive tried to get him help, but nothing has worked, and he doesnt think he has a problem.
Weve been living apart for the last year and this pregnancy was clearly unplanned. He lives at his parents house and does absolutely nothing!
In a nutsh__l he is a loser and i know this, so why has it been so hard to let go? I know i will go NO WHERE with him, but it feels awful to have a new baby on the way and to be alone in everything. I guess part of me ( a big part) always hoped and prayed he would change and wed live happily ever after. I get so depressed when i see happy families and loving, responsible fathers - im just so envious because all ive wanted for so long is to be happy and have a normal life.
Im blessed to have family that helps me a lot, but i dont have friends really because my kids and him and work have consumed my life for the past 6 years.
So girls, i just really need reassurance and encouragement from you all. Thanks so much- Kaila
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Hearing you reminds me of my sister. She has two little ones and a couple of years ago her husband was diagnosed bipolar. it's awful because he left her and the kids for drugs and this stripper. She's gone through so much, and shed a lot of tears, but I have to say I am really proud of her, she got her self through the last couple of years. She got a job, got herself out of her inlaws house and even though now it's so tough to juggle everything and I know that it still upsets her, she keeps thinking positively and looking towards having a good healthy future for her kids. It's hard Kaila, but don't get discouraged. A lot of people will jump on her and tell you to what to do. But i say do what will bring you and your children the most happiness, and don't lose hope. you're not alone, perhaps after the baby is born, you can look into supports groups. Good luck and don't give up on yourself...
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