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My boyfriend left me when he found out I was pregnant at 6weeks. He said he loved me but we just couldnt be together anymore and the baby isnt the ONLY reason why he's leaving, that was before thanksgiving and I hadnt talked to him since. I seen him in Wal-Mart with his father and he looked at me like he didnt know me and kept going. I instant messaged him and asked him why he was treating me so badly. He said he wanted to cut off all ties from me and that in a few years after he finishes his degree he will help with the baby "on his own time" He left 2 weeks ago and moved to another state and I have no way of contacting him. I really want to share with him about our daughter but I have no way..I feel lost and alone and his parents dont even know Im pregnant. If I tell them he will be angry with me and they may not want to accept my baby and take his side!
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I forgot to post that I am currently 19 weeks pregnant.
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 | SLP - February 3 |
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I agree with to lonely tears; your ex doesn't need to be forced to be around his child because that will just be harmful to you and the baby. However::: take him for all he's worth! I normally wouldn't say that, I would like to think that it's best to try to work out monetary issues outside of court, but he obviously isn't going to cooperate. Get all the money you can out of him. You deserve it, especially since you're going to have to pay more in childcare sine he's not around at all!!!
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Thanks girls, but If I file for child support wont he get half-custody and visitation? His parents would probably get a lawyer and make me give it to them. He is not a nice guy and I am scared for her to be around them
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Don't even worry about him. Trust me. I almost think it's better if the guy isn't there. Why? Because if he's screwed up enough to completely abandon the woman carrying his child.. then it's possible he could push those screwed up morals onto your child. (My ex did it to me too). Now I'm DEFINITELY NOT saying that if the father comes around you shouldn't let him be there.. that's not it at all. Just don't fret over whether he is or not. What's great is that you're not going to miss out on any of it.. you're gonna see the first smile, hear the first laugh, watch the first time your baby crawls, walks, eats a pickle! haha... (oh and it's sooo cute when they get their first taste of baby food!!!) and he's gonna miss it all. He'll regret it someday, believe me. As for his parents, I think you should just tell them. If they don't want to accept your baby.. so what. Your baby doesn't need them then, but at least they'll know he/she exists. And as for him trying to run from the baby and pay "on his own time"... nice try... but domestic relations has a way of finding people.. and if he doesn't pay, he goes to jail.. so make SURE you go to them for child support as soon as your baby is born.. do NOT wait. He doesn't have to be a part of your baby's life, but he DOES have to take some responsibility with the baby's financial needs. Until you have the baby though... don't worry about him. If you miss him at all... trust me, that'll go away. I was completely over my ex before our baby was even born. Now I haven't talked to my ex in over a month (our daughter is 6-months-old now) and I couldn't care less. Personally I hope he stays away.. but again.. whenever he wants to see our daughter, I let him.. the visit just has to be supervised by me.
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oh... and child support and visitation/custody are COMPLETELY SEPERATE issues. He will ONLY get visitation IF he files for it. He will not get half-custody. What will probably happen if he goes for visitation is that he will get supervised visits in your home to start out. and then it will gradually work up to a few hours every couple days outside your home, and then it'll go to longer hours and eventually overnights. Then maybe like weekends and every other holiday or something. (this is a sort of phase-in plan.. and the stages of the plan only advance if the father CONSISTANTLY visits the child). Judges almost never give 50/50 custody for infants... that is about the worst thing you can do to a baby. So don't worry about that. BUT.. IF it should come down to going to court... make sure you get a lawyer!!!
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