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I understand totally. Because he is the father of your child, you want to make it work...or at the very least attempt to. So what I have learned and see is do not make it too easy, but do not make it too hard as well. When I say do not make it too easy, I mean make him work and put effort, patience, time into you and this relationship. By working on his mistake and fixing this possible flaw in his personality, he can earn you back. Simply put, if you make it easy for him, then he'll figure you'll be around no matter what he does..that your love is easy to gain back...and the truth of the matter is YOUR love is worthy of respect, which he must learn to give. When I say do not make it too hard, I mean do not make his life such a living hell that he chooses to leave you because you constantly remind him of his mistake. Now the questions are was this surely a one night stand? How did he end up sleeping with her (meaning were they drinking or was it a mutual attraction that already existed)? Is he truly sorry? Does he want to work things out with you? Remember it takes TWO people to make a relationship work. If you want to make it work, which I'm sure you do, find out if he has just as much interest in doing so as you...because then it's a lost cause in the long run. There's nothing crazy with wanting to make a relationship work. I would suggest you sit down with him and let him know that you do want to make it work, BUT that it's not because you NEED him. It's because you want him. He must not, like any other, feel that you rely on him. You have your own two feet. Show your independence in that sense. Also ask him what made him do it? Was your falling out with him that severe or did he simply just "want some space"? Why did he deny for so long? Sitting down and talking is the first step. It will take time to mend the situation, because of your feelings, which are totally natural to be feeling. If you choose after talking to him and allowing him to answer your questions, a__sume seeing him. However, do not jump straight into things with him once more. Take it slowly. If he wants to make it work as much as you do, it will work. These things take time and patience. But ultimately, the decision is yours. Good luck.

Ceno, Thank you for your response. Are split was strictly because he was stressed and felt that he would bring me down if i was around, his exact words were that he didn't want me standing by him while he fixed his personal financial problems. The "s_x" happened one night, he met some random girl at a bar they ended up getting drunk and going back to her house. He says he didn't tell me because he was worried I wouldn't take him back and he just wanted to forget about it and leave the past in the past. He says he wants to work things out, and keeps saying to me, there has to be a way we can work through this. I am just so scared, and so uncertain as to how to balance not making him pay too much, and not letting him back to easily. I don't want him to feel that this would ever be acceptable again. Truth is, that I am way more stable than he is and so I definitely do not need him.

I am 22, first time mom. I understand, I was in a similar situation. Me and the father were together 9 mo. this is my second pregnancy by him, (the first was miscarried). When I found out I was pregnant I told him that I was getting rid of all stress to ensure that this one made it. That included us spliting if needed.( We were already on a rocky road) Two weeks later I left him, I left him with the house and furniture. I got the car it was in my name. Anyway, I wanted to get back with him because he was the father. We agreed that it would be best to take a break and maybe get back together at the end of Pregnancy or when the baby was born. I am 32wks now, I have not talked to him since I was about 5 1/2 mo. pregnant. I was the one calling him before that to let him know how things were going. I am glad that I chose to "take the break". It really showed his true self. In my opinion, I would try a break. It will relieve you of the stress of boyfriend issues, which you don't need that or any stress right now. Just be careful, think of you and the baby. Good luck, good to hear you are very stable without him. We are here for you!!

thank you for all your responses. These past few days have been absolutely overwhelming for me. lilnikki. Thank you for sharing your story. I know that I did nothing wrong, but I feel so ashamed. I am a very smart and educated woman and up until this point, would often catch myself wondering how woman get themselves into situations like this. YIKES! Now I see first hand. I have one child, 7 years old, his father and I were married and had a wonderful relationship. However; he was in the military and had a break down after serving in the war and we divorced. Anyhow, my point is that I am in disbelief that this is the situation I am in. I went to a counselor today, amazingly he was AWESOME!. I go back next week.

Anytime, Hopefully the counselor and us can help you get through this. Make sure you relax, try not to stress. Easier said than done, I know. Keyword "try" lol. Chat with you gals later.

I understand why you're hurt and want to make it work, but he had s_x with someone else while you two were broken up if I'm reading your post correctly, right? I don't think you should make such an issue out of him sleeping with someone else when you two weren't even a couple. Although, definitely get STD and HIV testing done, as it was unprotected.