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I have had the most amazing month with the most amazing guy. The problem is, he's from the east coast and I'm from the west. I just found out I'm pregnant and I have no idea what to do. I'm 25 and I have a 22 month old from a man I was engaged to. The thing is, he is enrolled in a Ph.D program which he cannot take time off from, and I am also a full time student and single mom. He's a great guy and says he is there for me %100 no matter what I choose. We talked about having an abortion, but I don't know if I could do that. I had one in my late teens and I still feel guilty. Anyway, he would be a great father if it wasn't for the distance. He says he would be really upset if I had an abortion, but also if I had the baby and he couldn't be the kind of father that he wants to be. I'm so confused. I'm finally starting to get my life on track for my daughter and I, trying to get my degree and a good job. We also both own homes on our seperate coasts. There is just so much to think about! Also, we both just broke off engagements and neither are really ready to jump into a serious relationship. Am I crazy to consider having this child alone while being a single mom and a full time student? I really like this guy! Help!
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There are thousands of men who are great daddys even over long distances - they're soldiers. Stay on your respective coasts, visiting each other as frequently as is feasible, and let it all play out. If you reach a point where you can sell your home or he can sell his, and one of you could transfer to a school on the other coast, do that. Until then, make use of a webcam, video camera, and lots of pictures to keep him updated while you are apart. Good luck
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nixie- i just wanted to say that i didnt have a dad growing up and i would have liked to have had one whether it was a long distance dad or a dad close to home. that is something that you need to think about because kids would rather have any kind of dad than no dad at all, and you say he would be a good dad, so that is good.and what jamie said was really good advice. good luck
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Well. I second the previous comments. Also...the wait to be together might not be as long as either of you think. Did he just start his program? It is very common for people to move away for jobs, personal life, etc. after they've completed the coursework, but before they've finished the degree. Just something to keep in mind...might make the wait seem less daunting.
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