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My daughter is pregnant and needs help. She is 21, working and the father wants her to get an abortion. She does not but feels it is her only option. She currently lives with her grandfather, paying rent. He is a heavy drinker and gambler, and his house is falling apart. If he finds out she is pregnant he will throw her out anyway. I can't move her in with me; I live with my boyfriend, it's his place and simply not an option. She has been denied welfare before because they said she is living with a family member and trying to rip off the system. She lives in Maryland. I want her to feel she has more options and do not want her to abort this baby. Where can she turn? I had her when I was 21, and the father left before she was born. It was a struggle but I managed. She's afraid she can't do it. Please help!
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 | Hi - September 12 |
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Did she say she was paying rent to the GF, also can she prove with checks that she is? If not since she can pay rent, why not move out on her own and then reapply.
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She usually pays him cash. SHe could easily get receipts, Welfare said they wouldn't accept. She can't afford to move out; she simply doesn't have the money. Her job pays about $200 week take-home.
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I maybe able to help. I just recently helped another young lady with somewhat of the same problem. Email me at kitaarnes@aol.com
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 | ok - September 13 |
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The other post is from someone looking to adopt, so I doubt if she can help if your daughter is wanting to keep her child. Now back to your problem which is a real toughy. I know there are some other ladies on her who know much more about this than I do. I hope some of them respond too. What about her going to them and trying to get on housing? It doesn't sound like where she is is going to be good for a new baby anyway. Maybe she can use what you have described as a way to do this. Also considering her income I would think that she would able to get help with medical stuff. I am sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but these are the best things I could come up with.
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there must be cmmnty centers pregnancy crisis centres in ur area they will shelter and hlp her get on her feet, also maybe if possible talk to the b/f family maybe they will hlp out and provide shelter, but i am preety sure there is sometime of sheltering or safe women group that will hlp her finacially and emotionally be a great mother, and discuss her options weather it e an abortion or not. good luck my prays are w/ ur daughter, and she really should move if she is living w/ someone who has alcholism.
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She should be able to get help from the system (Medical a__sistance, WIC, or whatever). When I found out I was pregnant I applied for what Medical a__sistance and WIC and was still living with my mother and under 18. I told them was paying rent to my mother and they did not find it a problem.
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what part of MD is she in? there are programs available to help with housing, prenatal care, food. also many churches can help too with baby necessites and maternity clothes you can email me at funnursechris@yahoo.com
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I am in DC area. Try catholic charities. They have loads of resources for people. Also, she should consider moving. Firstly, even if her gf doesn't kick her out, it doesn't sound like a healthy environment, but secondly, because she could get more a__sistance if she is on her own. I'm not sure what she pays in rent, but try looking on Craigslist and I bet she could find a bas____nt efficiency or something like that (not a shared situation) for under 700. She should look in the Virginia area too, and then she could reapply for a__sistance in a different state (fresh slate).
Also, she should get in touch with social services. She is elligible for medicaid and AFDC when the kid is born.
A final option to consider, if she really doesn't want to be a mom, is adoption. There are plenty of families out there who can't have kids and would be wonderful parents. Open adoption means she would be able to see the child as it grows.
What sort of work experience, education does she have? My company has teleworking, so if she has right kind of skills I can see about getting her work here. There is always a way. She's young so she probably feels pretty hopeless at such a big change.
I'm actually 34 and single and WANT to be a single mother. Old prince charming hasn't come along and I don't want to end up menopausal and regretting missing the boat. Plus, my job lets me work from home, I have a house, and I have a HUGE support network.
Anyway, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know. My friend's sister is a social worker in Kent Is., MD so I can ask her for some suggestions too.
Cheers!
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Another option would be to find a nanny job that is livein and ok with her being a single mother.
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Hi I live in PA , that may be too far away but maybe could help , I have 2 girls myselfand know of several shelters and a google of programs around here to help. I was 19 living with a roomate in her aunts garage on SSD and SSI when I was raped and got pregnant with my kiddo. I have a cousin in Maryland by the last name of Copeland as well. my email is amcintyre4@alltel.net
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To hopeful grandma: how is your daughter? Did she receive help? Keep us updated.
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Honestly, I would tell her to look for a repossessed trailor. Its what I did at 19. You can get a place very cheap and fix it up and also lot rent is very, very cheap ( i pay a little over $100 a month). Then welfare will help plus WIC. The a__sistance office can provide job a__sistance if she needs it and help pay for child care. Also if she needs a car they will usually put about $700 towards one. Local charities will help with baby gear and car seats and cribs. I know how hard it is but its not impossible. I live in a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bath double wide trailer and make ends meet on $316 a month. Also there is always public housing where they only charge a percentage of your income. My friend pays $34 per month for a 2 bedroom apartment that is GORGEOUS! Then there is energy a__sistance (called LIHEAP) to help with heating bills and sometimes electric. Food stamps provides me with more than enough for me and my child and WIC provides formula. Medicare will pay medical bills if she doesn't have insurance. It can be done. Just make it work!!!!
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