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I also forgot to mention that we even talked about marriage and he said that any day he would propose to me. I wonder if he said the same thing to her? Another thing I forgot to mention is that I have a 4yr old daughter and she loves him dearly and see's him as a father figure. That hurts me so much. He doesn't have kids of his own (yet) and I thought that he loved my daughter like she was his own.

Damnn that sucks, first i want to say im sorry ur in this situation, i cant say ive been there u know. Girl just leave him, if he really loved u he wouldnt have cheated on you, now the situation is worse and will just get worse because he will have to spend more time with the other woman once she has his baby because that is his baby and u cant tell him not to be a part of the babys life u know. I know ur hurt and will hurt more when u leave him but time heals all wounds and u will eventually get over him.

The thing is, I asked him if he was going to be with her after the baby is born. He said that they were not together, that it's over. So I asked him about the baby, if he's going to be in the baby's life. He said he plans to and he said he's even thinking of taking full custody of the baby. I'm not sure if he's saying this because she's made it clear to him that she's going to give up the baby? I don't really believe that because it sort of seems like she's happy. I guess I'm just wondering if he takes the baby and him and I do proceed with our plans, I will have to become a step mom to this child. I know I can do it, but I think I'll be hurt everytime I look at this child and see my so called boyfriend interact with this child because it'll be a reminder of what happened.

But still, u know it doesnt erase the fact that he cheated on, he could just be sayin that so u wont think he is still with her, babies change everything once they are here what if he wants to stay with her? I say leave him now before things get anymore complicated. But if u chose to stay with him and he does take full custody then yes u will have to become a "mommy". I know it will seem weird like u said everytime u look at the baby its going to be a reminder of what he did but if u really love this man you will love his child.

I don't think she's going to give him custody. As far as I know, she does hold down a good job and I think she's happy to have his baby. I think he is just saying that he's not with her just so I don't know. I have a very strong feeling that they are still together.

Wow! This situation sounds almost familiar to me, although the girl in the situation I know of, doesn't have a kid of her own...I think you should leave for many reasons 1. He cheated on you and not just once or twice. 2. He's most likly still cheating on you. 3. Not only did he cheat on you, but he got the other girl pregnant. 4. He's not going to be around for you as much as you would like because he's going to be involved in her life and the baby's life. 5. He obviously wants to be with this other woman if he's still with her now. 6. There's nothing you can do to keep her or the kid out of his life, they're always going to be there. You asked if the two of you can be happy and put everything behind you, right? Well my thoughts on this is, No I don't think that's possible. Nothing will erase what happened and as long as you keep yourself in this situation, you're always going to feel like your compet_ting against this other woman. Face it, she's having his child whether you like it or not. Just leave and save yourself an even worse heartache because the longer you put it off, the harder it's going to hurt.

WHY are you putting yourself through this?? For crying out loud woman, get some self respect and bow out gracefully!!

i know this must be hard for you, if u have a feeling they are together then they probably are. look i do understand you on the cheating part not the other girl having a baby, just let him go, i mean i as in a relatioship a long time ago and like u i felt like he was cheating on me, i didnt have any proof but i just knew it in my heart that something wasnt right. Back then i felt like he was the best thing that had ever happend to me, that i couldnt do better then him, i loved him i wanted to be with him and just pretend nothing was going on u know, i guess i had low self-esteem or something and i was insecure about myself cuz i thought i would never find anyone as good as him or so i thought and that made me not leave him. But u know what it just gets to a point where u just get tired, i didnt deserve that u know im young, i think i look good, i was going to school, i was working HE DIDNT DESERVE ME,, and this guy doesnt deserve you. I mean y would u want to be with a guy that obvious doesnt respect you? Its tough and i know it but u have to move on. Now if my mann ever even came close to cheating on me id leave his a__s in a second, im not going to put up with that again i know it will hurt but ill get over it and mr. right will come along eventually. Think about it. U really dont need this drama in ur life, let the other girl deal with him since she is going to have his baby most likely he will end up cheating on her with somene else, cuz he has been cheating u both. She may be happy now with having his baby but babies take A LOT of work and she will realize that after he leaves her too for someone else and shes left to do all that work by herself. hes not worth it

Listen to me, I'm a guy I know what's going on here or I atleast have a good idea. He is still with her, she's having his baby, he probably isn't going to leave her. He's lying to you and in the end you'll be the one hurt. If you want to play stupid then stay and be hurt. If you want to be smart about it, leave because he won't leave her for you. Why would he if he hasn't already?

Soleil I guess you're right. I'm thinking the same way you thought. He is the best thing that's happen to me, I feel like I can't do any better than him, and he's so good looking, I feel proud to say he's my boyfriend. But it hurts me knowing that someone else feels the same way.

Whoa, whoa WHOA! You say he's the best thing that's ever happen to you??? Girl, if a man breaking your heart, lying to you, betraying you, cheating on you, knocking up another woman is the best thing that's ever happen to you, I have to say I'M SORRY to hear that you've had nothing but awful and terrible things happen in your life. Because by saying "he's the best thing that's ever happen to me" is including everything is and everything he has done to or for you. And WHY on earth do you believe you can't do better?!?! surely you don't honestly believe this. Damn, a homeless person walking the side walk can do better than that, and so can you. You're just afraid because you're so used to having someone. Face it, he treats you like dirt, not only that, but he also treats the other girl like dirt too because he cheated both of you. And PLEASE do not say your proud to have him as boyfriend! There's nothing to proud about. If you want a trophy guy to hang off your arm, then fine, but you should never invest too much in trophy men and that's what he seems to be. Good luck! I hope you leave him.

Hey Guest, you gotta kick this jerk to the side of the road! If not for you, then for your daughter. She looks up to him and sees him as a role model - is a cheating, lying, sleeping around, a**hole really what you want your daughter to think of as a man and later date? Now fast forward a few years. You stayed with the guy, married him, had his baby, and you find out that all this time he's been leading a double life with another woman with whom he also has children. Is this how you see your life turning out? Because honey, he's not going to change. And the best part is, now he KNOWS he can walk all over you, sleep with other women, have babies with them, and you'll just sit around telling him you love him and how he's the best that's ever happened to you. He KNOWS he can abuse you, and you'll never leave. Please please have more self-respect than that and GET OUT.

What bean said is totally true. He knows he can do what he's doing to you becuase you put up with it. Instead of punishing him by leaving, you're basically saying "What you're doing to me is okay because I love you" So why would he stop if he knows he can freely get away with it???? And yeah, do you honestly want your daughter to look up to someone like that? i doubt it. You are just trying to search for reasons to stay and you're only justifying his actions.

The easiest way out is to say "Good-bye" Seriously.

Something very similar happened to me. About a year ago my boyfriend had a baby with his ex. They slept together very early on in our relationship but he never told me. At that time we weren't exclusive so I forgave him. I'll tell you watching him have a child with another woman was one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt like she was robbing me of my future...that she had stolen the life I had planned for us. Anyway I struggled through and supported him during it all and he repaid me by sleeping with her in January and getting her preganant again. All I can say is your boyfriend and the other woman will be connected...forever...and unless you are 100 percent confident in what you have you should get out and save yourself the heartache. If you even have a second of doubt as to whether this will happen again get out and never look back. Take it from someone who knows...the heartbreak doesn't get any easier the second time around.