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Heeeey..I'm Brittany. I'm a freshmen in college and I just finished my first term. When I went to the state university I was dating my best friend from high school and he and I had been dating during the summer. I broke up with him about two months ago and it was only 5 months after we started dating. During the summer I lost my virginity to him and we had s_x a few times throughout the summer and little at college. Since he and I broke up I started seeing other guys and one boy and I had s_x at the beginning of this month. I'm now pregnant with my new boy (even though he and I aren't together and aren't going to be) and I am so worried and scared to tell my ex. He still wants to be with me and loves me and stuff like that. But I just don't feel it anymore. My new boy and I are going to be just friends and he is in support of an abortion but understands that's something I wouldn't do. He would like me to put the baby up for adoption since he and I just started school. He also mentioned that wherever the baby is and whoever is taking care of the baby he would still be responsible and send money when he can. I don't really expect him to help much after the baby comes because I feel like it's more on me than him. I know once I tell my mom she'll be there for me and everything. Like it's weird. I've been home for a week and a half now for Winter Break from school, and she has started three different conversations with me about how she wants another baby. And when we were out one day she even showed me a cute little black and orange fleece baby jacket (black and orange are my college colors) .. and I know my dad made it so he can't have kids anymore after my last sibling was born (which was almost 12 years ago) .. and I know this isn't the situation that my mom was expecting since I know she doesn't want her unmarried daughter having s_x let alone have a baby, but I know she'll be there for me. Especially when she was in high school she got pregnant with my older half brother .. and I'm so happy she kept him and that he's in my life so I know I can't give up my baby for that same reason. I'm sure once I get back to school it'll be hard (since I only told two of my friends that go there already) .. and I'm president of my hall so I'm involved with all the other halls plus student government...so it feels like even more people will know compared to someone who isn't involved with all those things. Plus I'm also Mormon...and although I don't care what people say or think, they are pretty judgmental and I'm more worried about my family being judged than me.
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Hey Brittany, do you have a specific question? First, I wouldn't be worried to tell your ex. The relationship ended, and you're not interested in getting back together. You need to focus on other things. Second, I don't exactly understand the adoption thing. Nevermind what your new boy / friend wants; what do you want to do? Given that you haven't yet told your parents, I wouldn't make this very adult and permanent, life-changing decision solely on a boy's preference. Is there some other reason besides having just started school? Third, you *should* expect him to help after the baby comes - its more your and his responsibility than your mother's or father's. And children deserve their father's involvement where prudent and possible. Fourth, you should talk to your mom asap so you can get proper prenatal care. Don't preoccupy yourself with trying to hide anything. Own it - if you skulk around, worried about who knows or doesn't know, people will react to that and get gossipy. If you take ownership, people will be more respectful and less judgmental, b/c there's less to talk about - less people can say. What's done is done. Last, I advise talking to your minister. I talked to mine early on - I'm protestant - and it was a blessing, having his support. Good luck!
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